Monthly Archives: January 2012

So that’s what I am….an INFJ…a Bibliovore….Hmmmm

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So that’s what I am….an INFJ…a Bibliovore….Hmmmm

So the hubby had to take a personality test for school and in a nutshell, his personality parallel was Eeyore:

Which is funny for two reasons 1) because I USED to be described as thus. “Don’t pay any attention to me, nobody ever does…” and 2) because I would have described him as Tigger….Methinks he doth put on a  show for the world….

I digress.

I wondered what character I would be….So I took the test and lo and behold; I didn’t get a cartoon character. I got Nicole Kidman. WTF does that mean? I like short guys? Anywhoo….I did find it interesting that the careers it provided for me were mostly things I enjoy and have done or am going to school to become, with the exception of librarian. But anyone who knows me knows I have a library and consume books voraciously like a “bibliovore”(I should trademark that). If you are interested in giving it a shot for the hell of it, here is the link:

Who are you?

75%

Logical-Mathematical

63%

Visual-Spatial

58%

Intrapersonal

44%

Interpersonal

88%

Musical

44%

Bodily-Kinesthetic

42%

Naturalistic

33%

Your Type is
INFJ

Introverted

Intuitive

Feeling

Judging

Strength of the preferences %

11

12

50

11

INFJ type description by D.Keirsey
INFJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™      INFJ Famous Personalities 
INFJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

  • slightly expressed introvert
  • slightly expressed intuitive personality
  • moderately expressed feeling personality
  • slightly expressed judging personality
  • Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
  • Counselors are scarce, little more than three percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
  • Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people’s feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.
  • Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others’ feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor’s remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

YOUR TYPE

I

N

F

J

Strength of the preferences %

11

12

50

11

Jung Career Indicator™ determines careers most suitable for your type from personality type standpoint. Based on your personality type, the following is a list of your most suitable occupations along with some examples of educational institutions, where you can receive a relevant degree or training. Please click institution name for more information. Invite your friends to discover most suitable for them careers.

Career

Educational Institutions

click   Social Service   for more schools

Social Work
Education        
Librarian
Law  

click   Health Care   for more schools

Early Childhood Education   
Psychology/Psychotherapist
Counseling  

click   Arts / Humanities   for more schools

Design  
Science  

Famous people of your particular type

John Bradshaw, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, John Calvin, Nicole Kidman

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@BitchinKitchen convinced me to delve into tofu desserts….

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@BitchinKitchen convinced me to delve into tofu desserts….

So I am slightly obsessed with Nadia G.  I mean not like stalkeresque (you know her address? Just kidding…kinda) but I really really look forward to her episodes, her makeup, her shoes, cooking and perspective. Plus, she’s pretty hot in a cheesecake pinup way, is funny and smart as hell….

I digress.

The point of today’s installment is to tell you that I made her vegan Caramelized Banana and chocolate pie and it was effing delicious. Even my kids who HATE tofu no matter how I cook it ate the shykeys out of it. I am including the link (so you can see how hot she is) with the recipe, my oops learn from my mistake, and a final picture:

Link: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/nadia-g/dark-chocolate-and-caramelized-banana-pie-recipe/index.html

My oops: It is supposed to take 4 hours and 10 minutes. I sped this up by turning up the oven to 350 degrees to caramelize the bananas and putting the crust in the freezer to chill. The only problem with the faster cook time on the bananas is that the raw sugar melted off and it ended up being caramel with bananas in it…. Not as pretty but just as delicious. If you want pretty, no short cuts.

See how lovely it is? And deliciously not that bad for you.

Miserable Meeces, I hate them to pieces.

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Miserable Meeces, I hate them to pieces.

At first I could only hear them; barely
No one else could, they thought I was crazy
My old man found me on my hands and knees
Head tilted, listening intently, searching
Everything moved and everything checked
A-HA, victory is mine; evidence
One small brown turd, proof I am sane.
I can still hear them, vile dirty vermin
I have gone to prepare for our battle
Glue traps, snap traps, cheese and peanut butter
Baited and set, now I sit in the dark and wait.
I can hear you scurrying and scratching
I pray for your death. SNAP-Ha, I win.

 

I felt the need for a lighthearted throwback poem.

Enjoy 🙂

Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

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Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

Today, my kids and I were at the store to buy a Tracfone because my kid is required to have one for competitive dance….riddle me that Batman… and while we were there, I was trying to text someone back about something that needed responded to immediately. I kept having to stop walking to do it. My kids were making fun of me sooooo much because I kept having to stop walking to text.

HAHAHHA mom can’t walk and text…” chanted my daughter.

Um, I haven’t grown up texting. I am pretty good at it I think, but c’mon, my daughter doesn’t remember a time when cell phones weren’t something everyone had. She is literally the only 6th grader she knows without one. I told her that couldn’t possibly be true. One of her teachers pretty much confirmed it. Good grief!

When I was a kid, doing normal or maybe abnormal things (depending on your upbringing, socioeconomic status, geographic area of upbringing, etc) we didn’t have cells. I knew one person that had a car phone. They were a drug dealer. Other bad asses, had “beepers.” But really, no one had cell phones! We had pay phones! They cost a quarter and DIDN’T take credit cards. They took change or you called collect. My kids don’t even know what that means! We used to run amuck, flagging people down for rides, WALKING (gasp) all over hell’s half-acre, and we would know the time by looking at our watches. Or sneaking onto the dock behind May Hardware by Shaver’s beach and calling time. yeah, we did that. We called a phone number that would say, “The time of day is _______” No shit. Really.

We didn’t tweet, twitter, myspace, facebook, hit you back (unless you deserved it), gmail, google+, text, or any of that crap. We had social skills. We made eye contact. We made new friends easier I think. We had to talk to people that we didn’t have phone numbers for. I remember the “cool kids” had their own phone lines. Phones in their bedrooms. Man, did I want to be Jeana Dewey. But you know what? I survived without one. Really. True story.

And the payphones? They looked like this:

My house phone? Looked like this:

I bet you kids can’t dial one. HA

Go ahead, try and text with it!

Can you possibly imagine a world where you don’t know what time it is at all times? Sigh. I miss that.

I got a cell phone at age 26.

I survived until then without one.

Now, the longer I have one the more I can do on it.

The more I am required and compelled to do on it.

Email.

Shop.

Listen to music.

Homework.

Facebook.

WordPress.

Whatever. Oy.

I miss the simplicity of being a 13-year-old smoker at Shaver’s Beach.

Nostalgia is a bitch.

*adult language alert* The attempted fleecing of me, eff you Jiffy Lube.

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*adult language alert* The attempted fleecing of me, eff you Jiffy Lube.

So I never in a million years thought I would say I miss Mooner. 🙂 But I do. I miss Mooner and Twin Falls Jiffy Lube. I took my car in today, it was time and my boss will be riding in my car so I decided to get it vacuumed out, oil change, and new windshield wipers (stupid Pacific Northwest rain). PLUS I had a coupon for the Signature Service at $19.99 and buy one get one free windshield wipers, blah blah…

Mind you I have never had a problem at the Fisher’s Landing location until today.

First, they tell me it is illegal to blow out my air filter. Fine whatever, I haven’t had a new one in a bazillion years. 10 bucks whatevs.

Then they tell me that I need a new “radiator cap gasket” because I only have 7# of pressure, but lucky for me, they have a special running and its only $50 dollars. Are you fucking kidding me? FIFTY DOLLARS???? Do I look hot and stupid? I’m not even blond right now! I guess in this dress you can’t see my “all knowing mechanically minded dick.” I say “No, I think I will be alright. But thanks.”

He goes on to try and scare me into buying it, with threats of thrown rods (um, do you know which gasket we are talking about Mike from jiffy lube?), thermostat woes and radiator failure, car overheating apocalypse. I say “No, really, I am sure.”

Then they go to ring me up and magically, they no longer honor my Shell/jiffy lube card. Really? The one nice employee there, Bernard, tries for 45 fucking minutes to get it to work but they have a new card reader that no one can figure out. aWHesome. Emphasis on the WH. Like cool WHip. Meh, I digress.

So finally after getting really fucking irritated I use my previously just paid off credit card to pay so I can leave.

I get in my car and leave only to realize that:

1) There are oily foot prints ALL OVER MY DRIVER SIDE UPHOLSTERY-SIDE MAT;

2) Those mutherfuckers didn’t even VACUUM which was the whole damn point of getting my oil changed today;

3) Bernard got an ear full and I hope he slaps his employees for being stupid tools.

So I woosaw….I got to my local Baxter’s Autoparts store and purchase an entire new radiator cap for 7 dollars.

I win.

Fuck you Jiffy Lube Fisher’s Landing. Atleast you didn’t try and interest me in new muffler bearings and a refill on my blinker fluid.

Shake it out…..

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The entire album “Ceremonials” by Florence and the Machine has stirred whatever part of my soul is driven and inspired by hauntingly sad yet, brilliant and ethereal red haired women….

It’s been a life long passion from John William Waterhouse paintings to Tori Amos, Annie Lennox, Stevie Nicks (occasionally redheaded in real life, always redheaded in my mind) Sarah McLachlan, to the Kalis and Barbaras and all the other Celtic goddesses in my mind’s eye…oy …..Just make sure you buy the Deluxe version…you get 4 extra songs and they are worth it…

http://www.amazon.com/Ceremonials-Florence-Machine/dp/B005QI4TP8

“No light, No light” describes me in a relationship toward the end.

“Remain nameless” makes my heart pound and requires listening with bass capable speakers

“Leave my body” describes my desired higher self…

Really, the whole damn album is freaking magical and could have been autobiographical.

The following song has permeated my soul as of late….

Shake it out

Regrets collect like old friends

Here to relive your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way

And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

But I like to keep some things to myself

I like to keep my issues drawn

It’s always darkest before the dawn

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I’m always dragging that horse around

All of his questions, such a mournful sound

Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground

So I like to keep my issues drawn

But it’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

It’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off, oh woah

And given half the chance would I take any of it back

It’s a final mess but it’s left me so empty

It’s always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah…

And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t

So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope

It’s a shot in the dark and right at my throat

Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me

Looking for heaven, for the devil in me

Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh woah Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off, oh woah

Va te faire foutre. Muah. XXX. Kiss. Casse-toi !

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It’s been a long day, week, month, year, life of introspection and self doubt. You can come to my pity party this week and agree or try to make me feel better. But really all I have to say can be summed up by this most excellent of songs for this feeling I have as of late.

Kiss Off

Don’t worry, I am sure I will be back to my same old mean bitchy sarcastic self tomorrow.

An open letter to the appearingly 45 year old man on the Max with his pants LITERALLY sagged to his knees:

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Dear Apparently 45ish year old Sagger on the Max:

I really wanted to ask you why you wear your pants this way. It seems to me that it would be very hard to walk that way. I watched you for about 20 minutes, pacing up and down the train and I have to say, you are doing it wrong. You didn’t even hitch as I believe is the custom while you walked. That takes pure talent. I can only assume you practice at home walking back and forth with a hula hoop spinning round your knees.

My husband told me that the fad of sagging began as a way to signal to others in prison that men were interested in engaging in homosexual sex. I had never heard this so I investigated it. It is indeed a rumor, probably started as a way hurt some population, be it “on the down low black males” or LGBTQ populations in general, but it’s not true. My point in bringing up this terrible lie is to tell you that it would appear this is an accepted fallacy in the US, did you know? Do you know that some people probably think this when they see you?

The fad itself did actually begin in prison it seems, because of the ill-fitting garments provided as clothing. So there is that I suppose. Perhaps you have been in prison?

Another common misconception is that it is not a fashion statement at all or even part of a culture, that it simply allows the wearer to conceal weapons. Now, I have no idea where you could possibly hide a weapon other than your sock, since I can see everything else but just FYI. This is what people may think. Is that your intention?

Or to make people scared?

To make people wonder about your sexual orientation?

To make people assume you have been in prison?

Is it simply the way you emulate your idols from the early days of hip hop?

I don’t know.

I don’t know how it could be seen as attractive, but we all are attracted to different things I suppose. I happen to think baggy pants look good on some men. But what you were wearing is not baggy. In fact, I believe your pants belonged on some much shorter person because they were barely gathered at the bottom. I doubt if you pulled them up to your waist they would have even fit your legs. They would have been high waters, as we hicks call them. Heh.

I also imagined that you have children. A whole bunch of little saggers. That made me chuckle out loud and you looked at me. That made me nervous.

I really don’t get it. Perhaps I am just really out of touch with fashion. I have been accused of worse.

Speaking of which, I should note for the record and to some of my readers who may assume that I am speaking about a black man; I am not. You my friend, appeared quite white. But that has no bearing on my questioning of your fashion choice. I just wonder about the reasons for the choice vs the practicality of the choice.

Have a nice day and please don’t trip. (I honestly had horrible and intruding worries for you after you got off the Max, that you would trip in front of the train.)

Curious in Vancouver,

Jani

I’m officially “Batshit Crazy.” Thanks DSM-IV.

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So in my studies I get to take a magical DSM-IV class (Mental Health Perspectives …for ethical practice) in order to be a conscientious and ethical service provider. It’s also helpful to learn how to use the damn diagnostic manual. I get it. What I don’t get and what isn’t in the syllabus is that this class is going to turn everyone (OR JUST ME…is that paranoia? Delusions of grandeur? Narcissim? AGGGHHHHH) into raging hypochondriacs, which is defined as:

The DSM-IV defines hypochondriasis according to the following criteria:

A. Preoccupation with fears of having, or the idea that one has, a serious disease based on the person’s misinterpretation of bodily symptoms.
B. The preoccupation persists despite appropriate medical evaluation and reassurance.
C. The belief in Criterion A is not of delusional intensity (as in Delusional Disorder, Somatic Type) and is not restricted to a circumscribed concern about appearance (as in Body Dysmorphic Disorder).
D. The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
E. The duration of the disturbance is at least 6 months.
F. The preoccupation is not better accounted for by Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, a Major Depressive Episode, Separation Anxiety, or another Somatoform Disorder.

So I guess as long as my class doesn’t last 6 months, I should be ok. PHEW. Bullet dodged. (bad choice of words?)

But seriously. In order to combat said um, symptoms? I am balancing my education with the following books to convince myself that I am not crazy or that I can at least educate myself healthy, like other doctors (albeit I may believe that this is magical thinking….hmmm….see page….hmmm borderline or schizotypal….

I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes. Books to combat thinking I am crazy:

Antidsmiv

About a doc

Pink Floyd?

My sister’s favorite

Enjoy.

If you don’t want to read, let me surmise:

85% of all ADHD drugs in the world are used in the US.

The highest paid jobs in the Drug company world are not drug developers or researchers. No sir. They are the drug BRANDERS. Yes. The people who come up with clever and inviting names. Because we Americans, we trust drugs that start with X, D, Z and C. And A, if it has to do with allergies. Yep. How cool is that?

Twice as many psychotropic drugs are prescribed to women, yet twice as many men have a psychiatric diagnosis.

Because we all know ALL women are crazy and ALL men are notorious for talking about their feelings and seeking psychiatric help. I’m sure that is the reason for the discrepancy.

“I’m by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I’ve seen it save a lot of people’s lives.”~ Zach Braff

“Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.”~ Ambrose Bierce

“But my mother’s a psychologist, my stepfather’s a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad’s a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t know someone on some form of prescription medicine.”~ Zach Braff

Tire Swing

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Reckless abandon, back before fear;

She knew he was leaving, but not for how long.

He always played with her on those days.

She knew he would come back.

He always did.

 

She had no fear of flying away from or toward him

She had no fear of being out of control.

She trusted still.

She had no fear of falling

Or spinning, when someone twisted the rope.

 

Soon she will fall.

Soon she will spin.

Soon she won’t trust.

Soon she will need control.

Soon she will fear.