Fed you rotten fruit-
Out of love and frustration.
Now there’s just space.
All the things shed-
to make way for new beginnings:
replaced by ectothermic forces
reflection no longer representative
of the self recognized by Id-
mortal coil bound.
long life lived
for the chance to repair-
the choice to revisit-
the future of a soul
in need of trauma repair-
like mercury retrograde
making all communication
futile; yet needed.
spiral spiral spiral
who do we see when we look?
cracked and distorted
through a looking glass, darkly.
I can’t stand the silence;
More so now, than ever before.
My emotional reactions-
Full of hope, I choose to ignore.
I long for grounding;
A way to separate our energies.
My sympathetic feels-
Overwhelm me with anxieties.
I recognize similarities;
Our resonant trauma echoes.
My appreciation of you-
Empathy tips the dominoes.
Such an aberrant sentiment-
Unflinchingly given and reluctantly- accepted.
Growth is rarely a comfortable present;
at least not in the moment.
More of a gift to be appreciated when one grows older.
Cleverly disguised truth-
A Postmodern Jukebox manifestation of arrested development,
to be waded through both side by side
and often you taking point.
A partner and a challenge-
a teacher and a blessing.
An organized wish come through,
willed by his hands~
Surrounded by the ever present Spectre of death…
Mortality itself has haunted since the 11th year-
Family & friends dying like the Hemingways and Fondas having a competition…
Addictions and violence permeate a life… a society… a culture.
Supporting those you love,
Facing my own fears;
Tasked with aiding those in grief…
A lifetime of training?
They don’t tell you the right things to say…
Or even the wrong things to say.
“It will always come in waves… they just get further between…”
Weak tea for the knock kneed.
Birth to death and all between;
Beautiful acceptance to righteous anger-
Fuck this mortal coil.
What a compounding thought-
Reflecting on my daddy issues;
My insane need for a father figure…
What I needed was a foundation-
“The all father”
for all intents and purposes-
An education on faith-
Repentance AND reconciliation.
A basis for growth- a reason for service and understanding of trauma-
And finally- a present presence.