Tag Archives: phones

Do they have methadone for Facebook addiction?

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Do they have methadone for Facebook addiction?

I am on day 4 since I killed my Fakebook. The first day was the hardest. But even today, when I turned on my computer I immediately typed in http://www.fakebook.com rather somatically. I didn’t log in. But I was tempted.

I feel good about it. It’s not forever but it’s for a while. It was becoming too much of a floatie for me….I feel a bit as though I am drowning in my life and I would like to be able to find the side of the pool without a floatie.

In my opinion, if you use a floatie, you never really learn to swim.

So I pulled the needle out of my arm.

I even threw away my rig.

Sigh.

I have had several phone calls from people and that has been magic. It’s really so WEIRD, hearing what people are saying and being able to get their intention just through their voices! So novel. No misunderstandings of tone or sarcasm! No waiting for a response. No wondering if my android is being dumb cause my house is a dead zone.

Honestly, I really think this phone thing might catch on.

Whoever invented it is going to be the next Zuckerberg, evil genius.

I should have bought stock in “phone.”

I might even see about doing that when I hang out IRL with some people today.  Is it insider trading if I share my plan with others? Hmmm.

Maybe I will just tweet about it.

You know, after I kick your ass in “Words with Friends.”

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Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

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Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

Today, my kids and I were at the store to buy a Tracfone because my kid is required to have one for competitive dance….riddle me that Batman… and while we were there, I was trying to text someone back about something that needed responded to immediately. I kept having to stop walking to do it. My kids were making fun of me sooooo much because I kept having to stop walking to text.

HAHAHHA mom can’t walk and text…” chanted my daughter.

Um, I haven’t grown up texting. I am pretty good at it I think, but c’mon, my daughter doesn’t remember a time when cell phones weren’t something everyone had. She is literally the only 6th grader she knows without one. I told her that couldn’t possibly be true. One of her teachers pretty much confirmed it. Good grief!

When I was a kid, doing normal or maybe abnormal things (depending on your upbringing, socioeconomic status, geographic area of upbringing, etc) we didn’t have cells. I knew one person that had a car phone. They were a drug dealer. Other bad asses, had “beepers.” But really, no one had cell phones! We had pay phones! They cost a quarter and DIDN’T take credit cards. They took change or you called collect. My kids don’t even know what that means! We used to run amuck, flagging people down for rides, WALKING (gasp) all over hell’s half-acre, and we would know the time by looking at our watches. Or sneaking onto the dock behind May Hardware by Shaver’s beach and calling time. yeah, we did that. We called a phone number that would say, “The time of day is _______” No shit. Really.

We didn’t tweet, twitter, myspace, facebook, hit you back (unless you deserved it), gmail, google+, text, or any of that crap. We had social skills. We made eye contact. We made new friends easier I think. We had to talk to people that we didn’t have phone numbers for. I remember the “cool kids” had their own phone lines. Phones in their bedrooms. Man, did I want to be Jeana Dewey. But you know what? I survived without one. Really. True story.

And the payphones? They looked like this:

My house phone? Looked like this:

I bet you kids can’t dial one. HA

Go ahead, try and text with it!

Can you possibly imagine a world where you don’t know what time it is at all times? Sigh. I miss that.

I got a cell phone at age 26.

I survived until then without one.

Now, the longer I have one the more I can do on it.

The more I am required and compelled to do on it.

Email.

Shop.

Listen to music.

Homework.

Facebook.

WordPress.

Whatever. Oy.

I miss the simplicity of being a 13-year-old smoker at Shaver’s Beach.

Nostalgia is a bitch.