Category Archives: poetry

Sitrep

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Sitrep

Self imposed and static inertia

My late onsetted grief 

Such Purgatory bliss

Risk mitigation, of course.

 

Overthinking; the norm

Underwhelming; the courage 

Delayed ejaculation 

Fervor of imagination

 

Just waiting; 

Waiting;

Waiting;

What?

 

Boundaries blurred 

Panic heightened 

Lining up to begin and yet 

Wishing to know the end 

 

Mine, yours, ours, we.

Fucked it all; royally

Friends, family, strangers, lovers.

Crossed the lines, dot those tees

 

Stars fall, moons rise 

Watch the secrets 

In all their eyes 

Breathe in, blow out 

 

Fear first, then doubt;

Doubt;

Doubt;

Next!

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Red Shifts & Blue Shifts

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Red Shifts & Blue Shifts

tunnel vision

carousel copse

dapples dancing through

light

then focus

Wylie Lane?

blurred like wind

on water

flight

edges lost in memory

plays

Donnelly?

a temporal shift

rift

the place where reasons haze

where I wanted to be

Home

where you are

not when

untethered

searching out my constant

38is 1444

unintended transparency

grasping wanting more

the fucking Witter factor…

questing for a restore point

Rose Hill? Latah?

syncope

half forgotten Arms of Ponderosa

seeking out the Coastline

drowning in the Fathom

the inevitableness of you

subsequent fear of losing it

now found

an unavoidable event horizon.

Hydrophobic

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Hydrophobic

Was reading about dry drowning
And I suddenly was four.
Remembering my mother’s hypervigilance surrounding me
“It only takes a teaspoon to drown!”
And this led to my flooded warren…
My Piscean draw to the moon
The tides
Sand and waves
My mermaidian desires
How it wasn’t her android pelvis holding me back
But my fear of leaving the amniotic
Funny now, I think of it.
How we need the water
We’re 75% or something
(Same as the earth herself)
But she refused to let us wear seat belts,
Because if we wrecked in the drink, we’d drown.
She was so scared of water.
Never did learn how to swim
Except for underneath
And strangely, she never did come up,
To surface so she died:
In the life giving force we need
And instilled the fear
But it only made me want it more
Then the thoughts, they jumped to you.
The cliffs we slid down in winter,
And the irony of the ocean that day
Your ass hitting the ice,
A frozen attempt at life
You lost me in the sea grass
But climbed a tree to scout me a path.
I’m not hydrophobic anymore.
Are you?

 

Crooked

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Like that imperfect bookshelf that your mother loves,
I love you.

Somehow it’s less about changing who you are and more about disregarding those pieces…

Those pieces:
You loathe
You hide
You fear
You think cannot be loved
Or made whole.

While you reconcile,
I quietly support
Bolster
Await
The day you love yourself.

Vernal Reveries

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Vernal Reveries

And it’s only now, that I get it.

Naivety and overconfidence. What a combo. 

 What though the radiance which was once so bright

 Be now for ever taken from my sight,

 Though nothing can bring back the hour

 Of splendour in the grass,

 of glory in the flower,

 We will grieve not, rather find

 Strength in what remains behind;

 In the primal sympathy

 Which having been must ever be;

 In the soothing thoughts that spring

 Out of human suffering;

 In the faith that looks through death,

 In years that bring the philosophic mind.

~ William Wordsworth

Seasons of the witch

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Seasons of the witch

And I performed all the rituals;

To excise you from my being:

I said the words, I sang the songs,

I burned the poppets, offerings, and herbs.

The vernal equinox brought forlorn surrender

With all my naked tears, 

thrown at the ocean.

Midsummer brought quiet understanding

Still the skyclad blood dance was all for naught.

Acceptance turned to woken realization,

The exorcism had not uncleaved…     

My self imposed division.

The queen of cups,

Fooled again.

The knight of swords,
Had lied.

Time brought on the autumnal passing.

Themes of knowledge and woe,

Of things that cannot be unsaid, unknown.

Samhain a solemn reminder,

Of the work remaining to be done.

The full moon purge,

The blessings be,

The earth is coming full circle.

Magick done.