Category Archives: water

Embryonic

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Embryonic

Hot shower, warm hug;

Music muffled water white noise.

We return to womb.

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My Artesian soul…..

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And I realized in that moment,

It wasn’t you who had changed.

It wasn’t the “us” that was different.

It was me giving you the benefit:

The benefit of my artesian soul,

which had recently been refilled

to the brim.

Not unlike a geyser spouts,

it spilled over into us.

I feel like an eddy,

The tornado around the drain.

I lose my pressure around you.

Nothing even percolates.

It’s flat.

Huh.

I thought it was you.

But it was me.

It was him.

It was there.

I must rediscover the source.

 

Sexiest damn song. I had forgotten. It’s what was playing when I wrote this in my head.

Snow Schmow, have you checked your muffler bearings this winter?

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I can not believe how people react here from the “threat” of snow. Seriously? You guys are closing 3/4 of the schools for a TRACE of snow? OMG

Dear sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus. Save us from the Yuppies with Subarus.

Where I grew up, we drove through drifts that would touch the side mirrors to get to school.

In the school buses.

In our cars.

In our trucks.

We did brodies in the parking lots and learned to appreciate a good E-brake pull.

Girls drove trucks.

EVERYONE learned to drive stick.

And this isn’t one of those, “I walked to school uphill both ways, barefoot in the snow, 87 miles everyday” type of stories. I’m from McCall.  Google that shit. In all reality, I think we had a snow day 2x the whole time I went there and 1x when my kids went.

Snow day in PDX? Pssh, forget about it.

This is not snow.

This is slightly frozen rain.

You guys are weenies.

Commuters are even bigger weenies. A 1 hour commute becomes almost 3 hours because the road is wet.

Uh, this is the Pacific Northwest. Are you really scared of wet roads? Serious?

If I woke up tomorrow and there was 3 feet, ok then. Close the schools and I won’t go anywhere either because you Pacific NWers can’t drive for shit.

Four wheel drive does not mean four wheel stop.

Automatics are not better because they may be all wheel drive or even front wheel drive. A real snow driver wants a stick so if you do end up stuck, you can rock that bitch out of most anywhere.

I digress.

And for those of you stocking up at the store, making me stand in line 45 minutes for my damn creamer and whiskey, don’t forget to buy some tire chains. You will need them, there is a chance of 2 inches of snow. OH! And you might need to check your muffler bearings. And your blinker fluid. Goddess knows you don’t want to be stuck in a snow bank without blinker fluid, how will your GPS work!

*Eyeroll*

Call me when global warming starts.

Septic and in need of a Master Cleanse? Me too.

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First a poem.

Then a rant.

No digress.

Septic

I want my old skin back,

I’m no longer comfortable under yours.

Open sores need to breathe to heal and I know, I know,

I can’t always be the band-aid,

infections they feed this sickness between us;

It’s been allowed to fester into a boil.

I drew my sword and lanced it

now it’s become septic in unsterilized soil.

Too much attention given at the wrong stage.

An ulcer allowed to develop into pointless rage

Who knows what could have been.

Is this leper’s piece yours or mine?

A necessary quarantine and emotional quinine

A couple of courses, we should both be fine.

Master Cleanse:

Tomorrow the hubby and I are starting a “Master Cleanse.” For those of you shut-ins that are truly shut-in or haven’t subscribed to Gwyneth Paltrow’s www.goop.com, for informative and entertainment reasons here is the breakdown:

Basically, for approximately 3-30 days you starve yourself under the guise of a detox which includes laxative teas, “lemonade” made of fresh lemon juice, pure water, cayenne pepper (seriously) and real maple syrup. Occasionally, you drink some nice sea salt water too. In the meantime, your body “cleanses” itself, and is allowed to do more important things like flushing your liver and junk instead of digesting all the CRAP we non-agrarian/non-hunting lazy ass americans eat. Granted, my family doesn’t eat bad, comparatively speaking, but compared to neolithic man, we are ridiculously suicidal with our habits. So some things I have read praise sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus for the Master Cleanse. Others say it is the most horrible thing ever. Hallucinogenic in a bad way I have even read. We shall see. No coffee or caffeine? Oh my dear lord. I am pretty good at going without eating for days, which is totally healthy I know. But it’s effective…..Meh just kidding. Kinda….

I digressed. Oops.

Anyway, The goal is 10 days, I am hoping to make it to 7. I may not be able to do it and go to school which is why I am adding the caveat of 7….Husband is hoping to kick nicotine as a result of it, before everyone in our family adopts a much different eating style…MUAHAHAHH i win suckas…..:P

I shall update you as we go, and if you all don’t mind, if my posts get more crazy than normal…help a girl out. Give a heads up that I need to eat something cause I have gone bat shit crazy. Thanks *kisses*