Monthly Archives: December 2012

Too soon?

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Too soon?
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2012 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 11 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

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IT’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REJOICE AND BE HAPPY!

The Idaho Agenda

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Nelson Mandela once wrote,”There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have been altered.”

Returning to the Idaho Agenda feels like home, yet so much has happened in my personal life and in the world at large over the past ten months or so its stories, opinion pieces, and reader comments seem more like an archive of another time and of another place rather then the handful of months since its last publication.

There are many reasons for its extended absence. Without going into a lot of detail, I will say that my life became such that day to day writing, editing and posting became impossible.

Even so, every advancement made in the name of equality in Idaho, every breaking news story and every email asking for the Agenda’s return brought with it the often times unbearable cravings to…

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And yet, I miss the KK.

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And yet, I miss the KK.

This is an old poem I wrote…about the banality of going to the same bar.  I read it tonight and got all nostalgic.

I wanna go now.

I miss Kober.

I miss beer pong.

I miss Chuck.

I miss Dennis.

I even miss that hoochie that suckered TeaBag into buying her bazillion dollar shoes.

Fuck your couch.

I wanna sing!

Do we HAVE to go to the Klover Klub, really?

Smoke filtered colored light

Tequila egos

Trashed girl crying

Cue ball clack

Spotty conversation

Sticky table

Rancid toilet

Inappropriate song choice

For a good time call….

Herds of girls

Pairs of boys

Angry drinkers

Painted women; laugh

Stained ceiling tiles

Uneven stools

Broken bottles

Incense sales

Sound layers

Tobacco and Clinique’ Happy

Tippy chairs

Tipsy idiots

Drunken debauchery.

trouble trouble trouble

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trouble trouble trouble

So as lame as it makes me feel to admit this, I have a confession to make.

I identify entirely too much with the following songs; however not in all of the exact imagery chosen by the video directors…That is my one caveat…I think acknowledging this in a public forum makes me accountable for the awareness. It is what it is.

I grew up idolizing “Me and Bobby McGee”….and I suppose I continued the trend within myself 🙂

C’est la Vie.

“…pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.”

“My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean…”

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This was a really funny blog from last year and since I didn’t have followers, no one but Nate read it. You should read it. Its amazeballs.

From one Pisces fish to you....

Season’s Eatings!

Christmas and the whole Christian story of the resurrection always makes me think of zombies. I read a lot about how to survive a zombie apocalypse….I found it highly suspect that the movie “Zombieland” began in Garland, Texas….The town where some of my deepest seated fears began. We moved there when I was really little and only lived there for approximately a year,  maybe a year and a half but in that time I was:

  • Electrocuted by crawling under my aunt’s bar and sticking keys into an electrical outlet;
  • Attacked by red ants;
  • Subsequently traumatized by being held down in an ice bath;
  • Told large black people were gorillas after going to the Dallas zoo and being shown the scary gorillas, when we lived in an apartment complex that I believe had 2 other white families besides us (oh yes, thanks passive aggressively racist family, you were my first lesson…

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Boychild + Girlchild + Cookies + Grinch + Christmas

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Boychild + Girlchild + Cookies + Grinch + Christmas

We made cookies and watched the Grinch …we experimented with flavors and peppermint oil and chocolate…

We made Chocolate Chocolate Chip peppermint, Dark Chocolate chip hazelnut, and Peanut butter dark chocolate chip!They ate cookies until they were nauseous and I managed to avoid eating a single cookie at all (ok so I might have ate a bit of dough…)

It was glorious.

Most Christmassy thing we have done all month.

I got great pictures and hugs and smiles. Who knew a pound of butter, a couple pounds of sugar and chocolate with some flour and eggs could result in the best afternoon in a season!

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New song, new day, new attitude: @imaginedragons

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New song, new day, new attitude: @imaginedragons

Gonna live it.

Best new day ever.

Bring on the apocalypse in whatever form my live gives me it, I have my battle music now.

“Radioactive”

I’m waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I’m breathing in the chemicals
I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
WhoaI’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactiveI raise my flags, don my clothes
It’s a revolution, I suppose
We’ll paint it red to fit right in
Whoa
I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
WhoaI’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactive

All systems go, sun hasn’t died
Deep in my bones, straight from inside

I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive, radioactive

 

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder.

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Fuck you, Eddie Vedder.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for being my main boy/man archetype since I was 12.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for giving me hope. Hope that angry young men who hate their mothers and miss their fathers could grow up to be sensibly deep and poetic souls.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for narrating my youth and adolescence.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for giving me a voice and a growl to match my self-imposed angst.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for making me think that all angry young surfer/skater/artist boys would grow up to be passionate and well-adjusted adults.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for making me obsess over Matt Miller for years.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for having your lovingly familiar brow furrow.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for being my jokingly “8th ex husband” as I inch closer and closer to number 8.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for cutting your hair. It made Chris Cornell cut his! You bastard. Chris Cornell has the voice of an ANGEL.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for marrying a goddamn model and having a baby with her and having it be glorious.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for the soundtrack of Into the Wild, further complicating what I thought was a pivotal moment in my growth by proving that you angry boys could become men and could snap out of your melancholy to write something so provocative and insightful.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for influencing that vote of mine for Nader.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for making me love greasy rat men from Singles.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for all your mind opening documentaries and eye-opening activism.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for performing with Johnny Depp, which was a wet dream.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for Ukelele Songs, which made me love you even more.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, for my wedding song.

Sigh. Fuck you, Eddie Vedder.

I still love you.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder, because I would probably still marry you; if you and Jill don’t work out. Even though you are the same age as my mother. It’s not as weird, now that I am practically middle-aged.

But whatever.

Fuck you, Eddie Vedder.

Happy early fucking birthday, freaking Capricorns.

All I want for Christmas is…….

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All I want for Christmas is…….

You to buy me the following things:

……….

That’s how my blog for this day had been planned to start off this morning.

While I showered this morning I was trying to come up with something either clever or poignant to blog about. I came up with something totally cute, witty and materialistic.

Then I got out of the shower to news of another mass shooting. I have no real words. I could go on about gun control or gender roles or mental health safety net deficiencies or developmental stages and testosterone and all sorts of things. But really, none of that matters.

I feel sadness for all the families involved in all the tragedies the last few months.

From Aurora to Clackamas to Newtown to China to the Gaza strip to Afghanistan and people killed by our drones and all our soldiers and everything else.

But I cannot dwell on it.

I cannot dwell on the personal issues I am facing.

I must take joy in things like getting a coveted spot at a nonprofit that I care about.

Like the delicious kisses from a little puppy.

Like the sheer brilliance in my daughter’s smile when she gets a new haircut.

Like the intense flashes of passion my son shows when describing something he cares about.

Like being able to write these things on my computer.

So maybe I will dream a bit and share my silly list.

It is tradition, after all.

Jani’s List for Santa:

  1. A box of blue non-latex gloves, medium. I dye a lot of hair and my box is almost gone. One of those silly things I cannot rationalize buying…
  2. This Nora Roberts book: The Perfect Hope (don’t judge me! Its the final book in a trilogy!)
  3. The book my future first ex-wife wrote: Oh Nadia….
  4. This album….It is seriously the only one by her I have ever wanted…I don’t know why I need it…there are a few songs that just well…Don’t judge me. I am already judging me.
  5. These fabulous shoes: Not that I have anywhere to wear them.
  6. ANYTHING unicorn. I have decided to restart my collection…You could start with this calendar.
  7. This amazing pan! I am a mad cook and I need a nice pan!
  8. I would also like to replenish my stock in this lovely oil.
  9. This delicious dress, size 14 please.
  10. Anything from this line, but I am almost out of this…my unicorn placenta cream….
  11. Delicious stinkpretty juice.
  12. This pattern and this fabric! (hahaha got two out of number twelve!)
  13. A new blender for margaritas, er healthy smoothies.
  14. LOTS of bottles of this wine. I prefer red usually but white is nice too.
  15. An address book. Any address book. Mine is 17 years old and has names I want to forget and no room for new addresses! My BFF Lisa has 13 addresses in it! Are you kidding? I have white out on white out on different colored markers!

So yes. Come on fans! Get me presents! I’ll give you a PO Box if you want to send them 😉

Merry ChriskwanzahanaksolsticeFESTIVUS!

Remember the words of Anne Frank….

“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”