So I read a lot. It’s an addiction of my own really. The internet is my supplier and it has stolen many hours from my life and filled my brain with “useful only for Jeopardy knowledge.” However, in this quest to consume useless information I come across a lot of opinion pieces that I read for enjoyment. Lately, it seems that there is a refocusing on the nuclear family; the roles of husband and wife….NOT spouse as one would assume would be the focus. Perhaps it is a passive aggressive attempt to avoid the thoughts of same-sex couples or a manipulative way for the media to reestablish the status quo of man, woman, son, daughter, dog equals family bullshit.
Meh, I digress.
I have read several articles in the last week regarding how essentially we owe our spouses sex (read WIVES owe their HUSBANDS sex) and that with the new challenges of being a modern wife, what with the working and the babies and the this and the that there is still an OBLIGATION to look pretty, be fit, and provide our poor husbands with sex. A recent ruling in France wherein a wife successfully sued her husband for lack of sex set the standard for some of these authors, but the American spin put on it is that by marriage is a contract which implies sex is owed to the other spouse, typically the wife is the less than willing spouse of course. Because men are reptilian brained sex addicts and we, women, are the frigid bitches not giving it up because we are tired and working and mothers and blah blah blah.
Um, yeah. No. In my experience, we women are much more like that woman in France. We like sex. We want sex. We are often the ones turned down. Men, like “women” are tired, overworked, and get headaches. Or maybe they don’t feel sexy. Maybe they just aren’t in the mood. Regardless, intimacy is a necessary part of a relationship but the weight of the sex being OWED to one spouse or another is an odd thought.
These relationship articles directing women to make an effort to just do it, lest we invite our husbands to cheat….And why shouldn’t they? A man about town in 1962 should be able to depend on his wife for things like sex and dinner….if they aren’t there; of course he should be allowed to stray. he is only a man after all.