Monthly Archives: October 2011

Which way is the pendulum swinging?


So I read a lot. It’s an addiction of my own really. The internet is my supplier and it has stolen many hours from my life and filled my brain with “useful only for Jeopardy knowledge.” However, in this quest to consume useless information I come across a lot of opinion pieces that I read for enjoyment. Lately, it seems that there is a refocusing on the nuclear family; the roles of husband and wife….NOT spouse as one would assume would be the focus. Perhaps it is a passive aggressive attempt to avoid the thoughts of same-sex couples or a manipulative way for the media to reestablish the status quo of man, woman, son, daughter, dog equals family bullshit.

Meh, I digress.

I have read several articles in the last week regarding how essentially we owe our spouses sex (read WIVES owe their HUSBANDS sex) and that with the new challenges of being a modern wife, what with the working and the babies and the this and the that there is still an OBLIGATION to look pretty, be fit, and provide our poor husbands with sex. A recent ruling in France wherein a wife successfully sued her husband for lack of sex set the standard for some of these authors, but the American spin put on it is that by marriage is a contract which implies sex is owed to the other spouse, typically the wife is the less than willing spouse of course. Because men are reptilian brained sex addicts and we, women, are the frigid bitches not giving it up because we are tired and working and mothers and blah blah blah.

Um, yeah. No. In my experience, we women are much more like that woman in France. We like sex. We want sex. We are often the ones turned down. Men, like “women” are tired, overworked, and get headaches. Or maybe they don’t feel sexy. Maybe they just aren’t in the mood. Regardless, intimacy is a necessary part of a relationship but the weight of the sex being OWED to one spouse or another is an odd thought.

These relationship articles directing women to make an effort to just do it, lest we invite our husbands to cheat….And why shouldn’t they? A man about town in 1962 should be able to depend on his wife for things like sex and dinner….if they aren’t there; of course he should be allowed to stray. he is only a man after all.

Male confirmation….needed?


So as I sit today making my fantasy football picks for tomorrow, I came to some odd conclusions about myself. Granted, it required me seeking the opinion of a penis welding version of my species to bring about the epiphany; but I realized it nonetheless.

I require male confirmation of my own feelings in order to trust them.

What the hell is that about? Using the acute situation which brought to my attention this character flaw of mine, I shall now try to pick it all apart to you in the way that my own mind (minus XY influence, I think…..) processes things….

So I read and listen to the news a lot. Invariably, the media focuses on sports, namely the NFL this time of year. I hear whats going on.  My husband, has a little bit of an addiction between talk radio, sports radio, satellite, military, working at Buffalo Wild Wings, Sports Illustrated and anything else that talks about football. To say he likes sports is an understatement. To say he LIVES and breathes football is hardly hyperbole. Add to that the fact that I typically kick his ASS on fantasy football, he never lets me not know something he thinks I should know and occasionally has been known to tell me the opposite of the truth or try to trick me into trading players….previously not suspecting that I was onto him and researching what he is telling me.

I digress.

Back to me: I do my research. I even check the damn weather where the teams are playing. I can run with the big dogs, the alpha males of Fantasy Football and I kinda pride myself on it. I’m not much into girl stuff, unless there are males involved. Gender profiling? Yes I am just as guilty. BUT>>>>>>>>>

I am also all about the ladies and equality and gender is a social creation yada-yada, not to sound blithe, but I am. I have a whole section of feminist theory and feminist books on my bookshelves. I have been accused of being a femi-nazi more than a few times. However, when it came down to deciding which Running Back to start in my imaginary fantasy football team, I didn’t trust myself to make the right decision until I had a man agree with me. Oy.

So are all my decisions based upon male reactions? Is everything I do to please my daddy? Am I really THAT chick? What if another male disagrees with my roster this week…would I doubt my choice then? This is going to require some deep thinking. Imagine that, soul-searching and learning prompted by the prospect of MEN getting their brains bashed in to chase a ball. Hoorah. Kinda ironic I think.

Regardless, I am playing Earnest Graham over Frank Gore this week. If it doesn’t work out for me, I may just decide to eat bonbons and watch some soap operas since I can’t be barefoot and pregnant.