Tag Archives: Myspace

Only the lonely….

Only the lonely….

L.M. Montgomery said that “Only lonely people keep journals.” I have to agree. I grew up keeping a diary which I later called a journal (so much more sophisticated) and a book of poems…I started in 4th grade. I found my solace and friends in books, regardless of who wrote them. We moved a lot and always lived in the middle of BFE, so my siblings and my horse were my only constant companions. Social scientists say now that we social media junkies are narcissists, that we think every thought we have is a gem. I don’t think I have breached that point, yet. I share a lot of news and observations, not a lot of  “I just ate a banana.” ” I just took a sh*t.” “I just turned on my computer,” crap. But I think it is more of a matter of loneliness we feel, wanting to feel connected to the world, rather than a matter of narcissism.

Now granted, I realize there is a generation full of wannabe Snookis and JWOWWs, but I am speaking of the people who aren’t fame seeking, oversharing whores. Just the ones who feel that they want to connect with someone besides themselves, to know that others feel the same way they do. Myself, I haven’t journaled truly since I got my first Myspace, I wrote a lot of notes then. I printed them off when I closed my account and I kept them in a notebook. Facebook has provided a sort of venting platform and twitter is amazing for quick little blips, updates and links to news stories.

BUT this blog: this blog has become my new journal. I still have my poetry book (number 4 at this point in my life) and I write in it often. I share a few of those poems here, but really they are mine. Not really fit for human consumption. Maybe after I am dead. I try to keep the blog knowledgeable for the masses, cathartic for me, and vague enough when referencing real people that only those people and a very select few realize whom I am actually speaking of. Its my mini-therapy.

I suppose I am lonely.

But you are reading this, so maybe you are too.

This world keeps getting smaller, yet the spaces between us keep on growing.

To be fair, I will give you this as it still makes #Kony famous:

To be fair, I will give you this as it still makes #Kony famous:


This fellow believes we are doing the cause a disservice because of the amount of money that invisible children makes in relation to what they do. I know. I also know that NO effort is ever completely unselfish or without some sort of mutual benefit. I think the good outweighs the bad in this case and believe if nothing else, the fact that the web can be used to do such good and so quickly is inherent purpose enough. I mean this has gone BEYOND VIRAL.

And knowing this, I still bought schwag. It’s just as good a cause as any, plus it resonated with me on a level that few things do. That is all. Make your own choices.

I’m still going KONY2012.

As for the allegations he makes regarding not currently committing crimes in Uganda, perhaps. But that doesn’t mean crimes are not happening. Check it out:


#KONY2012 (No other title seems appropriate)

#KONY2012 (No other title seems appropriate)

I know the world is a terrible place with terrible people in it.

I also know the world is a wonderous place with wonderful people in it.

Sometimes, when I am caught up in my first world problems and feeling so full of self-pity, the Universe sends me something to remind me of my path and the content of my vision board; a contrast to show me I am a fat american pig with no real problems. I live a blessed life. And so do you. The fact that you are reading this tells me so.

Often, the Universe sends me things via one of my oldest friends and someone who knows me better than I know myself. Oddly, these things come just when I need them. Kismet, you might say.

I digress.

Regardless of how I come upon things, here is my call to action for you today. Just watch this and share it. Awareness is a start. Knowledge is all I am asking of you. 29 minutes of your time and a reblog.  A retweet. A Facebook share. An email.

Joseph Kony via Invisible Children



Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

Cell phones are ruining my memory of childhood.

Today, my kids and I were at the store to buy a Tracfone because my kid is required to have one for competitive dance….riddle me that Batman… and while we were there, I was trying to text someone back about something that needed responded to immediately. I kept having to stop walking to do it. My kids were making fun of me sooooo much because I kept having to stop walking to text.

HAHAHHA mom can’t walk and text…” chanted my daughter.

Um, I haven’t grown up texting. I am pretty good at it I think, but c’mon, my daughter doesn’t remember a time when cell phones weren’t something everyone had. She is literally the only 6th grader she knows without one. I told her that couldn’t possibly be true. One of her teachers pretty much confirmed it. Good grief!

When I was a kid, doing normal or maybe abnormal things (depending on your upbringing, socioeconomic status, geographic area of upbringing, etc) we didn’t have cells. I knew one person that had a car phone. They were a drug dealer. Other bad asses, had “beepers.” But really, no one had cell phones! We had pay phones! They cost a quarter and DIDN’T take credit cards. They took change or you called collect. My kids don’t even know what that means! We used to run amuck, flagging people down for rides, WALKING (gasp) all over hell’s half-acre, and we would know the time by looking at our watches. Or sneaking onto the dock behind May Hardware by Shaver’s beach and calling time. yeah, we did that. We called a phone number that would say, “The time of day is _______” No shit. Really.

We didn’t tweet, twitter, myspace, facebook, hit you back (unless you deserved it), gmail, google+, text, or any of that crap. We had social skills. We made eye contact. We made new friends easier I think. We had to talk to people that we didn’t have phone numbers for. I remember the “cool kids” had their own phone lines. Phones in their bedrooms. Man, did I want to be Jeana Dewey. But you know what? I survived without one. Really. True story.

And the payphones? They looked like this:

My house phone? Looked like this:

I bet you kids can’t dial one. HA

Go ahead, try and text with it!

Can you possibly imagine a world where you don’t know what time it is at all times? Sigh. I miss that.

I got a cell phone at age 26.

I survived until then without one.

Now, the longer I have one the more I can do on it.

The more I am required and compelled to do on it.



Listen to music.




Whatever. Oy.

I miss the simplicity of being a 13-year-old smoker at Shaver’s Beach.

Nostalgia is a bitch.

2011 in Rearview:


I have noticed that many of the blogs that I read have had something like a “year in review” wrap up blog in the last week. I used to do something similar back in the days of Myspace; I would post “Things I learned this summer or winter or fall or spring or year or whatever” and I have not done anything like that recently. So in homage to the yester-me and fellow bloggers, I offer my *2011 in Rearview.”

1) I never realized how much I would miss my old cohort in grad school. Even the ones I didn’t like, I liked. Who’d a thunk it? I am hoping to have as great a group of peeps to be around at my new school, but the bar is set high Vikings, the bar is set high.

2) I always thought that I hated to be alone and that was part of the reason that I was never single long; after spending nearly 3 months absolutely alone in a new town without even a dog or tv, I realized that I enjoy being alone but prefer it to be a choice. When I am forced to be alone and have absolutely nothing to do, ie: no job, I try to die from pneumonia.

3) Pneumonia is no effing joke and I have never been more scared about my health in my life. There is nothing like laying in bed alone with a fever, not being able to breathe or even get up, scared to sleep contemplating how long it would be before people realized you died. It was also the first time I experienced fever dreams. Not cool. You can keep them. It did however give me perspective on a lot of situations that I had not thought of, such as the couple this year that had the government deport one of them even though the one had complications of AIDS and needed his husband to help take care of him. It also made me want to pray for George Michael because Pneumonia is the effing devil. I can commiserate. Luckily, I was youngish and healthyish.

4) Quitting smoking in June was much easier with no one around to torment or tempt me.

5) Ironically, I think that part of my getting pneumonia was related to letting go of my dear dear friend tobacco. Sniff. I still miss him.

6) The illusion of your favorite place to visit certainly fades away when you have to live there.

7) Living in a place with a huge population of homeless makes me feel like a fat American, helpless, selfish and unsure of my ability to wear a social worker hat.

8) Concurrently, it impassions me to wear my social worker hat.

9) I don’t know if I should have used empassions or impassions in #8.

10) Everything about my life that I have absolutely hated in the last few years has absolutely prepared me for the current job that I have.

11) I really, really miss the NFP I worked at in Idaho. If you guys want to be part of an excellent group of people in Idaho, check it out: http://www.alphaidaho.org/

12) I miss my friends and took them forgranted when I lived near them.

13) I miss my family and took them forgranted when I lived near them.

14) Emotional affairs are a very real thing and not just a story to fill up a slot on the Today show. No pun intended. 🙂

15) I have worked with or for some pretty financially comfortable people in the last year and must say that I am much more emotionally, physically, and parentially? capable than most of them. That makes me feel better about the things that I feel my kids have missed out on because I am not rich and makes me feel better about the things I feel like I miss out on because I am not rich. If I could choose between being part of the 99% vs 1%, I honestly think I might pick 99%. Last year, I wouldn’t have said that.

16) I really learned a lot about myself, my relationships, and my kids in the last year.

17) I learn best by getting lost and finding my way home. Figuratively and physically.

I think that is all the introspection I have for myself and the world today.

Skip to 1:05 and enjoy the tunes from my estimated 8th ex-husband and his band:

Rearview Mirror