An open letter to the appearingly 45 year old man on the Max with his pants LITERALLY sagged to his knees:

Standard

Dear Apparently 45ish year old Sagger on the Max:

I really wanted to ask you why you wear your pants this way. It seems to me that it would be very hard to walk that way. I watched you for about 20 minutes, pacing up and down the train and I have to say, you are doing it wrong. You didn’t even hitch as I believe is the custom while you walked. That takes pure talent. I can only assume you practice at home walking back and forth with a hula hoop spinning round your knees.

My husband told me that the fad of sagging began as a way to signal to others in prison that men were interested in engaging in homosexual sex. I had never heard this so I investigated it. It is indeed a rumor, probably started as a way hurt some population, be it “on the down low black males” or LGBTQ populations in general, but it’s not true. My point in bringing up this terrible lie is to tell you that it would appear this is an accepted fallacy in the US, did you know? Do you know that some people probably think this when they see you?

The fad itself did actually begin in prison it seems, because of the ill-fitting garments provided as clothing. So there is that I suppose. Perhaps you have been in prison?

Another common misconception is that it is not a fashion statement at all or even part of a culture, that it simply allows the wearer to conceal weapons. Now, I have no idea where you could possibly hide a weapon other than your sock, since I can see everything else but just FYI. This is what people may think. Is that your intention?

Or to make people scared?

To make people wonder about your sexual orientation?

To make people assume you have been in prison?

Is it simply the way you emulate your idols from the early days of hip hop?

I don’t know.

I don’t know how it could be seen as attractive, but we all are attracted to different things I suppose. I happen to think baggy pants look good on some men. But what you were wearing is not baggy. In fact, I believe your pants belonged on some much shorter person because they were barely gathered at the bottom. I doubt if you pulled them up to your waist they would have even fit your legs. They would have been high waters, as we hicks call them. Heh.

I also imagined that you have children. A whole bunch of little saggers. That made me chuckle out loud and you looked at me. That made me nervous.

I really don’t get it. Perhaps I am just really out of touch with fashion. I have been accused of worse.

Speaking of which, I should note for the record and to some of my readers who may assume that I am speaking about a black man; I am not. You my friend, appeared quite white. But that has no bearing on my questioning of your fashion choice. I just wonder about the reasons for the choice vs the practicality of the choice.

Have a nice day and please don’t trip. (I honestly had horrible and intruding worries for you after you got off the Max, that you would trip in front of the train.)

Curious in Vancouver,

Jani

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