Category Archives: Obsession

Warning: Passive Aggressive post ahead…. #crazyexes

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Warning: Passive Aggressive post ahead…. #crazyexes

I haven’t had time to do anything meaningful on here in many moons and this will not be truly mind-shattering either. There are lots of things in the world going on that I could write about, Ferguson, California Earthquakes, new ancient aliens episodes, rape culture, journalists being beheaded, etc. But those things are too heavy and I am feeling quite solipsistic. So instead I am taking this space to passive aggressively speak to a cyber stalker whom I (perhaps egotistically) believe will read it.

I have exes. Most of us do. But while I have engaged in some “harmless” ex-stalking in my day like casually checking out their public facebook profile photo just out of plain morbid curiosity, I can with all honesty state I have NEVER friend requested his or her new partner.

I do not want to be their pal. I do not want them to know I was sizing up them up as a previous partner.  

It has actually been sometime since I have done that regardless and I like to think that was due to some insecurity I have outgrown. 

Now, in the last year plus, I have had not one, BUT TWO of my partner’s exes cozying up to me in the cyber world. Really.

One sent threatening messages, showing her true 40+ year old age to be somewhere about 14, this was easily squashed with a magical feature called BLOCKING. No further contact. ¡Salud! 

Oh, but recently, the last month or so, another one popped up. Now mind you, I think my social media presence is ridiculously large, I concur. BUT I have things as locked down as the illusion of privacy permits (sans this blog) and most things have a fake name associated with them or require you need my REAL email to communicate. Well this one, I give her hacker search crazy bitch toolbox props cause she is EVERYWHERE.

On my twitter.

On my facebook.

On my tumblr.

On my instagram.

On my F**KING Pinterest. I had to disable it. I am very sad. Pinterest, get some better privacy settings. Sad face emoticon.

And when the above modes of contact were not successful, she started liking my things or communicating through my partner’s family members we had in common. So I had to delete THEM. That is not good in a newish relationship when you are trying to establish relationships with family members who live out of area, especially when THEY added you, now I just seem rude.

What can be gained of this for you?!

Yes, I can see from your very public disclosures you just got left recently by your partner.

I get it.

I am sorry, but….my partner isn’t available as a back up.

We are currently still together sooooo……

Get some counseling. Talk to a friend in real life. Focus on your kids. Focus on yourself. Self Care. Exes are exes for a reason. Truly.

If my partner wanted communication with you to continue, it would have.

And if that was your angle, um, why would you approach me, not them? Oh, that’s right. They deleted THEIRS cause of this.

DOH.

Stop it.

Just stop. 

Spring Contemplations

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Spring Contemplations

I haven’t really had the chance to do much as far as blogging lately, I have lots of excuses; the job, the partner, the kids, the promotion ;), the gym, the tv, the birthday, whatever; I could go on and on…But I shall not digress.

I got news recently someone that I loved had passed away. It is oddly still affecting me but I am not sure of the effect yet. I am still processing. Mostly it is feeling like a morbid curiosity that I can’t resolve because I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle. I am not sure how I should feel which further confuses the fact that I am not aware of what I am feeling other than the physical effects. I have been hyper-focused on the unknown details which truly are irrelevant. But the relevant details of my own life feel almost peripheral. Mostly it is physiological. I locked my keys in my car yesterday, I asked my boss a question and immediately forgot his answer resulting in me having to ask again (a midst his laughter of my spaciness.)

It took me a couple days to realize what was going on with me.

It’s strange to grieve something, someone whom you don’t feel like you should grieve about.

It’s odd how one’s mind processes things.

But it is Spring now, Ostara. Ēostre. So I am going to take this time to bury any negativity that might be residual, as they are buried. It is time for new starts and the closing of a chapter to make way for a new one. Like picking up a book you stopped reading and coming back to finish it, so you can fully commit to starting a new one.

Blessed be.

Body electric

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Body electric

Ok, Ok… so I have almost gotten Lana Del Rey out of my system BUT! I wasn’t able to get an entire album onto one disc, so I have only been listening to the one. Today I decided to listen to the other one with a measly 4 songs on it and lo and behold; she has a song called Body Electric which is a throw back to my favorite Whitman poem

OMG I love her fucking face.

She is one of my soul mates I am sure of it now.

xoxo

Jani

Woe is me.

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Woe is me.

I just finally got around to watching the finale of Spartacus.

 

It wasn’t the finale of Spartacus.

 

I already turned off my Starz.

 

Alas. Woe. #firstworldproblems

 

Damn.

Things that go bump in the night:

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Things that go bump in the night:

While I do not claim to be the most rational person, I think on most days I am at least 72% rationale.

However.

There are a few things that despite my rational grownup mind freak me the eff out. In an ongoing attempt to purge irrational fear from my psyche, I offer you this list of my top 11 irrational fears from greatest to least, *handle this knowledge responsibly please*:

  1. Spider webs. Spiders, not a biggie. Spider webs, touching me or in my line of sight are enough to induce heart palpitations faster than the first time I saw that b**ch on the ring come crawling out the tv.
  2. The shadow next to the bed. I don’t care how old I get, I jump over that. Period.
  3. Falling asleep in a car as a passenger. Don’t take it personally, but no. I do not trust you enough to not kill me while I sleep and you drive. Get over it.
  4. Falling. On purpose, metaphorically, from a ladder, from stairs, from a plane, from a mountain, from a cliff, from a platform with a rubber band tied around my ankles, from a roof, from a beautiful waterfall, from a bridge, whatever. I used to think it was a fear of heights, but I have decided it’s not. It’s the falling I fear 🙂
  5. White noise hoobie joobie. That movie with Michael Keaton freaked me the eff out. I think it is the combination of watching Poltergeist at entirely too young of an age and then that movie….EEKKKKK
  6. Being strangled. Odd I know. But I can’t wear turtle necks or chokers or even t shirts that have tight necks. Weird right?
  7. Cataclysmic apocalypse. Be it caused by natural, alien, zombie, illuminati, political, whodo, voodoo, whatever; I fear it. More than a rationale person should, I suppose.
  8. The ocean. I dream of swimming underwater with whales and mermaids and fishes, breathing underwater just fine. But sharks and water I cannot see the bottom of in real, waking life, freaks me the eff out. Eff that. There are big freaking things in the ocean!
  9. Failing in general. At a job, on a quiz, on a crossword, at life in general, as a parent, etc. I fixate on this shit. Try falling asleep without the soothing sounds of Kelly Howell or Eckhart Tolle with this Atlas weight in your brain.
  10. Repeating my parent’s mistakes. This is probably not as serious of a fear so much as a corrective tool…Everything I do as a parent and a grownup, I try to gauge how my parents would have done it, and how that served or disserved me. Then I act accordingly. It’s only bit me in the ass a couple of times, thus far. But I do fear choosing wrong because I based a judgment of serve vs disserve on my current state of mind and not on the actual result that is still evolving….Does that make any sense outloud?
  11. Talking in my sleep. I know my dreams. If ever I was to speak while sleeping, I am sure people would have me put away forever. >:)

Ok, ok so I know overall it just seems like totally normal control issues right? RIGHT? I’m normal. Just like every other normally neurotic person.

Birthday! Birthday! Birthday!

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Birthday! Birthday! Birthday!

Soooo since you guys didn’t come through on Christmas, the blessed day of allegedly sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus birth, perhaps you can come through on mine 😉

Here is all I want:

Remember, dress size 14, inseam 31, shoe size 8. Muah

Cherries!

http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/cherry-swimsuit-retro-one-piece-plus.html

More Cherries!

http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/black-cherry-cutiepie-pumps-from-pinup-couture-shoes.html

peekaboo!

http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/dixiefried-niagara-dress-black-plus.html

Blue shoes!

http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/smitten-two-tone-pump-in-matte-blue-from-pinup-couture-shoes.html

Or you could always go practical of course and buy me this:

I can make my own then:

http://www.target.com/p/Brother-Deluxe-Electronic-Sewing-Machine-CS6000i/-/A-10909301?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Froogle_df&LNM=%7C10909301&CPNG=appliances&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=10909301

I’m also open to tattoo gift cards from the following shops/artists:

http://www.alteredrealitytattoo.com/ (Chris Graham)

http://www.hopelessink.com/ (Zak Anderson only)

http://ryanmasontattoos.com/ (Ryan Mason)

Thanks in advance, stalkers!

 

Hypocrisy becomes me….

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Hypocrisy becomes me….

So I have a new friend coming over for the Superbowl and they like white wine. I will drink white wine if I have some asian pears, if it’s really hot outside or I can mix it with juice; overall however, I am a red wine girl (well, actually I am a whiskey girl, but sometimes I like to put on airs and pretend to be high-class….) and know nothing about white wine besides you serve it cold and in a narrower glass. (Thank you bartending college….)

Also for said new friend, I get to have a pretendish dinner party. It’s going to be me, husband, new friend and maybe the girl child. But its going to be lowkey…I’m only making a couple of fancy dishes….the Camembert Poutine (sweet potato fries rather than gnocchi, I ain’t got time for that shite) ala Nadia G, and my peach balsamic baked brie….BUT we are also having the lil’smokies in bbq and chips and dips and all that crazy manjazz. hahah, that looks bad. “manjazz”

Damn it, I digressed.

Back to wine.

Anyway, I texted said new friend and asked about years (vintages?) brands and varieties…not being a white wine wino, I know Pinot Grigio, Riesling, Moscato and Chardonnay, but I know there are more and I know nothing about the differences. New friend finally texted back, but I had already purchased my wine.

You know how I picked?

The bottles.

There are pinups on them and that matches my house’s motif.

Can I be a misogynist and a woman? Damn it. I do like me a hot cheesecake pinup. *giggle* It’s a mini-obsession.

OH! So yeah, therein lies the hypocrisy. I make fun of people for picking teams because of the QB’s looks, but then here I am picking wines because of the scantily dressed women on the bottles. Judging a book by its cover….

But come on! At least it’s local winery! See:

http://kestrelwines.com/our_wines/collector_series_wines.html

I’m supporting local industry! Does that give me some credit? No?

Oh well. The bottles match by Pinup Porter beer collection 🙂

So that’s what I am….an INFJ…a Bibliovore….Hmmmm

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So that’s what I am….an INFJ…a Bibliovore….Hmmmm

So the hubby had to take a personality test for school and in a nutshell, his personality parallel was Eeyore:

Which is funny for two reasons 1) because I USED to be described as thus. “Don’t pay any attention to me, nobody ever does…” and 2) because I would have described him as Tigger….Methinks he doth put on a  show for the world….

I digress.

I wondered what character I would be….So I took the test and lo and behold; I didn’t get a cartoon character. I got Nicole Kidman. WTF does that mean? I like short guys? Anywhoo….I did find it interesting that the careers it provided for me were mostly things I enjoy and have done or am going to school to become, with the exception of librarian. But anyone who knows me knows I have a library and consume books voraciously like a “bibliovore”(I should trademark that). If you are interested in giving it a shot for the hell of it, here is the link:

Who are you?

75%

Logical-Mathematical

63%

Visual-Spatial

58%

Intrapersonal

44%

Interpersonal

88%

Musical

44%

Bodily-Kinesthetic

42%

Naturalistic

33%

Your Type is
INFJ

Introverted

Intuitive

Feeling

Judging

Strength of the preferences %

11

12

50

11

INFJ type description by D.Keirsey
INFJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™      INFJ Famous Personalities 
INFJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

  • slightly expressed introvert
  • slightly expressed intuitive personality
  • moderately expressed feeling personality
  • slightly expressed judging personality
  • Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
  • Counselors are scarce, little more than three percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
  • Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people’s feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.
  • Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others’ feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor’s remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

YOUR TYPE

I

N

F

J

Strength of the preferences %

11

12

50

11

Jung Career Indicator™ determines careers most suitable for your type from personality type standpoint. Based on your personality type, the following is a list of your most suitable occupations along with some examples of educational institutions, where you can receive a relevant degree or training. Please click institution name for more information. Invite your friends to discover most suitable for them careers.

Career

Educational Institutions

click   Social Service   for more schools

Social Work
Education        
Librarian
Law  

click   Health Care   for more schools

Early Childhood Education   
Psychology/Psychotherapist
Counseling  

click   Arts / Humanities   for more schools

Design  
Science  

Famous people of your particular type

John Bradshaw, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, John Calvin, Nicole Kidman

@BitchinKitchen convinced me to delve into tofu desserts….

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@BitchinKitchen convinced me to delve into tofu desserts….

So I am slightly obsessed with Nadia G.  I mean not like stalkeresque (you know her address? Just kidding…kinda) but I really really look forward to her episodes, her makeup, her shoes, cooking and perspective. Plus, she’s pretty hot in a cheesecake pinup way, is funny and smart as hell….

I digress.

The point of today’s installment is to tell you that I made her vegan Caramelized Banana and chocolate pie and it was effing delicious. Even my kids who HATE tofu no matter how I cook it ate the shykeys out of it. I am including the link (so you can see how hot she is) with the recipe, my oops learn from my mistake, and a final picture:

Link: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/nadia-g/dark-chocolate-and-caramelized-banana-pie-recipe/index.html

My oops: It is supposed to take 4 hours and 10 minutes. I sped this up by turning up the oven to 350 degrees to caramelize the bananas and putting the crust in the freezer to chill. The only problem with the faster cook time on the bananas is that the raw sugar melted off and it ended up being caramel with bananas in it…. Not as pretty but just as delicious. If you want pretty, no short cuts.

See how lovely it is? And deliciously not that bad for you.