I think I saw my very first IRL “Nihilists”!

Riding the train home Wednesday, I was intrigued to see a couple board together, in total synchronicity. They were dressed exactly alike, black skinny jeans, black jackets, black boots, black socks, black shirt, black hoody under jackets, black glasses, black beanies. She had black curls, he had red. Their bags were black, too. Had I not been able to sense the apathy and anomie dripping from them, I probably should have been more nervous staring at them inconspicuously.

They moved in total togetherness, as though they shared a central nervous system, neither of them ever having an affect beyond FLAT. They crossed their legs together, moved their hands together. They both immediately sat straight backed with their eyes closed for most of the 45 minute ride. when they did open their eyes it was only to stare at the ceiling. It was quiet mesmerizing. Even their breath was matched. It was like they were Terminators or from the Matrix or Blade Runner, I even called out “Trin?” once just to see….

Hm. The male, he picked his bag up off the floor at the same time she did. They moved over one spot when someone got off the train. when he picked up his bag I noticed it said something in an odd font, that reminded me of a fairytale land drawn by a tweeker. I stared at it trying to figure it out for a long time, then finally…I could resist no longer. I asked. they both turned their heads to look at me, it was f**king creepy. He replied “Urfaust, it’s German.”

Uh, ok. His voice immediately made me think of the Dude. Pissy carpets. The white russians and the Nihilists. I laughed out loud and she looked as though she was trying to kill my soul with her eyes.

I got home and googled “Urfaust.” It’s dark ass death metal German industrial weird satanic black Danzig shite. My son would love it.

And then I felt satisfied.

I had seen my first Nihilists.

Sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus bless Portland. Only here, only here.

And maybe LA.

And Germany. 🙂

 

TRIMET safety? Yeah…..

So again there was a robbery on the max train I ride.

http://www.kxl.com/02/08/12/Robbery-On-A-Max-Train/landing.html?blockID=585764&feedID=10446

Awesome. I would just like to say that not ONCE have I seen a Trimet police officer on my train (unless they were hiding in plainclothes…yeah right…) or a real police officer or even a fare checker.

I’m not buying it. http://www.portlandtribune.net/news/story_2nd.php?story_id=132831962929253100

I was late to school just the other day because some stupid &*%**%* decided to buy 8375346530465 tickets individually and I didn’t have any tickets left in my packet. So I missed my train to get one. I should have just rode illegal like everyone else besides the person that hogged the machine. My husband hates me riding it, my brother wants me to get my concealed weapons in this state. My stress levels just from thinking about you bastards is rising. I do not feel safe on the train, especially at night in the free fare zone (which has pretty much become the whole goddamn route.) Granted I don’t go through the “roughest” neighborhoods, but I do go through downtown and the “transitioning” neighborhoods, which look lovely during the day but at night are totally different places.

I wear my sunglasses. I avoid eye contact. I ignore your attempts to solicit my conversation. I wear my ear buds, low so I can hear whats going on, and I sit with my back to the wall so no one is behind me. But I see and hear all the things you crazy, high and scary bastards do. Chanting about Jesus and Satan in the schools and demon lunch ladies. Sitting on the bus with your tent over your head rocking and chanting. Shit makes me nervous. What are you doing under there? Are you harmless? Scared of people? or loading your shit? GOD. I smell your pot. I smell the meth oozing from your pores. Making drug deals next to me. talking about who you are gonna eff up if you see them at the Alberta stop again.

Seriously. I am listening and I have supermagical hearing abilities. I don’t want to listen but I have to so I know wtf is going on around me. And I have my mace ready. I swear I am gonna end up macing myself on accident. FUCK

I don’t carry anything but books and bus passes. Leave me alone.

An open letter to the appearingly 45 year old man on the Max with his pants LITERALLY sagged to his knees:

Dear Apparently 45ish year old Sagger on the Max:

I really wanted to ask you why you wear your pants this way. It seems to me that it would be very hard to walk that way. I watched you for about 20 minutes, pacing up and down the train and I have to say, you are doing it wrong. You didn’t even hitch as I believe is the custom while you walked. That takes pure talent. I can only assume you practice at home walking back and forth with a hula hoop spinning round your knees.

My husband told me that the fad of sagging began as a way to signal to others in prison that men were interested in engaging in homosexual sex. I had never heard this so I investigated it. It is indeed a rumor, probably started as a way hurt some population, be it “on the down low black males” or LGBTQ populations in general, but it’s not true. My point in bringing up this terrible lie is to tell you that it would appear this is an accepted fallacy in the US, did you know? Do you know that some people probably think this when they see you?

The fad itself did actually begin in prison it seems, because of the ill-fitting garments provided as clothing. So there is that I suppose. Perhaps you have been in prison?

Another common misconception is that it is not a fashion statement at all or even part of a culture, that it simply allows the wearer to conceal weapons. Now, I have no idea where you could possibly hide a weapon other than your sock, since I can see everything else but just FYI. This is what people may think. Is that your intention?

Or to make people scared?

To make people wonder about your sexual orientation?

To make people assume you have been in prison?

Is it simply the way you emulate your idols from the early days of hip hop?

I don’t know.

I don’t know how it could be seen as attractive, but we all are attracted to different things I suppose. I happen to think baggy pants look good on some men. But what you were wearing is not baggy. In fact, I believe your pants belonged on some much shorter person because they were barely gathered at the bottom. I doubt if you pulled them up to your waist they would have even fit your legs. They would have been high waters, as we hicks call them. Heh.

I also imagined that you have children. A whole bunch of little saggers. That made me chuckle out loud and you looked at me. That made me nervous.

I really don’t get it. Perhaps I am just really out of touch with fashion. I have been accused of worse.

Speaking of which, I should note for the record and to some of my readers who may assume that I am speaking about a black man; I am not. You my friend, appeared quite white. But that has no bearing on my questioning of your fashion choice. I just wonder about the reasons for the choice vs the practicality of the choice.

Have a nice day and please don’t trip. (I honestly had horrible and intruding worries for you after you got off the Max, that you would trip in front of the train.)

Curious in Vancouver,

Jani

Public Safety and the college life

So the university that I go to has approximately 50 buildings including parking structures. I have received 3 emails from Campus safety in the last 3 weeks describing basic safety techniques and procedures because of the sexual assaults and other assaults they have had in 2 buildings. For example:

This email is to advise you that the *** Campus Public Safety Office is investigating an assault that occurred on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at approximately 8:30pm on the sidewalk near *******. The Campus Public Safety Office became aware of this report via an email that was received on Friday, Jan 13, 2012 at 10:00pm. The victim reported that she was grabbed by the arm and wrist and was able to break free after striking the suspect. During this brief encounter the victim was unable to provide a description of the suspect.
As a reminder, please be vigilant and aware of your surroundings on and off campus and call 911 or the Campus Public Safety Office at ******* if you observe suspicious behavior or if you have any concerns about your personal safety. Additional information and updates about this incident will be available on the *** Campus Public Safety website ***********.
Support services from the Women’s Resource Center and Student Health and Counseling Services are available for anyone impacted by violence. If you have any nonemergency 
concerns regarding safety issues at ******, please contact the Campus Public Safety Office at *********.

Which two buildings did these incidents happen in you say?

The two buildings I attend class in at night. Rock out with your c**k out.

YES!

I love school.

I love riding public transportation.

I am becoming less liberal everyday.

That is all.

Father says no hate crime….What do we think?

I have friends who are saying “all violence is a hate crime” and “hate is a violent crime” and ……. every way to say it. I agree to a point, but often find myself looking at things in the frame of statute and prosecutability if I may coin a term…

I also try and relate this to what I am reading about “Race Socialization Theory.”

Meh, I digressed.

The Oregonian published an article now with more information about the actual crime and how it was perceived by the victim and the victim’s family; apparently there was a bit more to the story than we initially were told (isn’t there always?) but read the article and let me know, do you think it had anything to do with race?

http://blog.oregonlive.com/commuting/2012/01/max_beating_was_ugly_but_the_r.html

What the hell! Seriously? You all just gonna stand there and watch?

So I have recently started using public transportation a lot, not just for nice little adventures into Portlandia, but for practical reasons. And because of where I live, and the fact that I am simultaneously poor and cheap, I have to get on in some pretty sketchy parts of town. I am really, really hoping that the sun for some ungoddessly reason starts staying up longer before the vernal equinox, cause I really hate walking alone in the dark between 8 and 10 pm, but whatever.

I digress.

Recently, there have been some really untoward happenings on the max in particular that freak me the eff out.

To begin with, the first night I rode it alone, I watched one girl get on with a baby in a stroller: her eyes rolling, her head nodding. The baby looked clean and well fed though. I decided I was being judgmental for my thoughts. The next stop though, apparently the “baby daddy” as she put it got on and she started screaming at him about smiling at her and not paying her child support, which he replied was cause she would buy drugs not formula, and she threatened to STAB him with the BABY. Awesome. Mom of the year.

Then this poor girl gets the crap beat out of her and NO ONE DID ANYTHING BUT FILM IT WITH THEIR PHONE. I saw the video before they took it down. Pretty disturbing:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45949624/ns/local_news-portland_or/t/disturbing-video-shows-portland-girl-attacked-max-train/#.Tw9SfW9rMbI

Then last night I missed the train I wanted. Lucky for me, or I would have been here when this happened:

http://www.koinlocal6.com/mostpopular/story/Teen-beaten-at-Rose-Quarter-MAX-platform/8uKI0FGGD0-LzFUrLh8pFA.cspx

Poor kid just had a wrestling meet, was crossing the street with ear buds in and heard someone holler, took them out, asked “What?” and promptly got as his ass beat and sent to the hospital in severe condition.

Are you f**king kidding me?

Now mind you, I was at the mall and several Trimet stations yesterday and commented on the amount of cops, security and Trimet guys on the trains and in the mall. Hoorah! You are being a presence. But uh, apparently, you guys missed this one above. So what gives? Blazers game seems to be a good time to have heavier security considering there is about 40-50 thousand people in the place at a time. I mean Jesus.

Anyway, as I put on my brave big city girl face and divert my eyes from the crazies in the hopes that I don’t have my ass kicked for no reason, I offer this: I have the most heinous streaming pepper spray in my hand the whole time I am on the train. Its law enforcement strength with glow in the dark/luminous stain and I am not afraid to spray myself or others to get you.

And to you “innocent bystanders” that may get some in the process? Too bad, you guys should have done something to help those other kids. Collateral damage I say.