Tag Archives: apathy

I think I saw my very first IRL “Nihilists”!

I think I saw my very first IRL “Nihilists”!

Riding the train home Wednesday, I was intrigued to see a couple board together, in total synchronicity. They were dressed exactly alike, black skinny jeans, black jackets, black boots, black socks, black shirt, black hoody under jackets, black glasses, black beanies. She had black curls, he had red. Their bags were black, too. Had I not been able to sense the apathy and anomie dripping from them, I probably should have been more nervous staring at them inconspicuously.

They moved in total togetherness, as though they shared a central nervous system, neither of them ever having an affect beyond FLAT. They crossed their legs together, moved their hands together. They both immediately sat straight backed with their eyes closed for most of the 45 minute ride. when they did open their eyes it was only to stare at the ceiling. It was quiet mesmerizing. Even their breath was matched. It was like they were Terminators or from the Matrix or Blade Runner, I even called out “Trin?” once just to see….

Hm. The male, he picked his bag up off the floor at the same time she did. They moved over one spot when someone got off the train. when he picked up his bag I noticed it said something in an odd font, that reminded me of a fairytale land drawn by a tweeker. I stared at it trying to figure it out for a long time, then finally…I could resist no longer. I asked. they both turned their heads to look at me, it was f**king creepy. He replied “Urfaust, it’s German.”

Uh, ok. His voice immediately made me think of the Dude. Pissy carpets. The white russians and the Nihilists. I laughed out loud and she looked as though she was trying to kill my soul with her eyes.

I got home and googled “Urfaust.” It’s dark ass death metal German industrial weird satanic black Danzig shite. My son would love it.

And then I felt satisfied.

I had seen my first Nihilists.

Sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus bless Portland. Only here, only here.

And maybe LA.

And Germany. 🙂