Category Archives: Music

2018 year in review:

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2018 year in review:

Haven’t done one of these in a couple years. Seems fitting as I am in my 38th year… which is the year I’ve been thinking about since I was 19 years old.

It’s been a wild ride.

And a long life.

Hopefully, I get 38 more years.

1. Codependent is not the same as interdependent… no matter how you package it, some people will never understand the difference.

2. Never take friendships for granted; even after 28 years, they can end without proper maintenance. Even with proper maintenance, people grow apart. That’s ok.

3. There are social contracts that we all must abide by, to some extent. However, any social contract that requires you to be anything but your authentic self (save for concrete moral deviance) can go fuck themselves. This is your life. You probably only get one. Love it. Live it. Choose it. You’re the driver.

4. “Stairway to heaven” really is truth. 🎵“Yes, there are two paths you can go by… But in the long run…There’s still time to change the road you’re on.”🎵 Two paths. Fear or love.

5. If you’re all the way right or all the way left, you can’t see the whole picture. Take a couple steps back and listen.

6. Echo chambers are bad.

7. Sometimes the best thing you can do as a parent is stop parenting.

8. You can lose/leave most of your things and be happy.

9. Dogs really are better than cats. By a small margin. But still better.

10. Money definitely doesn’t buy happiness. Always choose the job that feeds your soul. If you’re doing things right, someone will feed your belly.

11. When you have enough to feed your belly, feed someone else’s. When you have enough to feed your soul, feed someone else’s.

12. Energy is cyclic. I knew that years ago but I was definitely reminded repeatedly this year. Be mindful of the energy you put out. It’s easy to become comfortable, complacent, and forget.

13. Choose love. Even if it ends badly, you will end up better for it. You can leave with love. You can lead with love. You can heal with love. Always love yourself first. Insert some cliche about airplane oxygen masks.

14. Experiences are better than things. But… sweet gestures are still sweet.

15. Excitement and exuberance count. More than you realize.

16. Gratitude begets gratitude.

17. Douglas Adams really is a genius.

18. You can be aware and understand without co-opting and/or being offended. It really isn’t about you.

19. Except when it is… if you have a boundary, don’t let yourself or anyone else violate it.

20. There is healthy shame and unhealthy shame… learn the difference.

21. People tell you who they are and what they want through actions. You have to listen and watch. They often contradict each other.

22. Timing is everything. Sometimes things circle back around when you’re ready, sometimes they don’t because they were only there for the lesson.

23. The world, and humans, haven’t really changed. Comparisons are moot.

24. You can’t save anyone but yourself.

25. And Hobo Johnson/Frank is a lyrical genius.

Huzzah. Xoxo

When I am wrong, I admit it.

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When I am wrong, I admit it.

Sometime last year my friend Daniel posted a video of a girl sitting in a car with a crazy system. She appeared to be, well, really enjoying it. I called bullshit. Maybe if it was a Harley I said, but not “just” bass.

Well, this previous summer I had to buy a hamster car…totally stock 2013 Kia Soul, but it has a freaking badass stock system. This song came on my Pandora station and suffice it to say, I was driving down I-84 and had to pull off for a second or 4 minutes.

Straight up.

No joke.

I doubt most computers can pick up the low frequencies in this song, but if you have a way to find it and play it through a good system, it’s pretty effing sweet.

Ladies, you are all welcome.

Men, you should buy this album for me. er, your lady, if you like ladies.

two weeks eh? Dang.

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two weeks eh? Dang.

So maybe I have been slightly distracted by life and slowly becoming more distracted…

I hadn’t realized it had been two freaking weeks since I blogged. EEEEP….

But the return is worth it…for example:

I smile for no reason and when no one is there to observe it;

I’m busy as hell between FT work, kids, new friends, old friends, my lovely new boyfriend, etc;

I am running in the run for your lives event tomorrow (my second year!);

I’m also trying to figure out how to cut costs and make extra money….. if you have legal ideas, hit me up cause at this point I am thinking commune….;

My fantasy football draft is tonight *fingers crossed*;

My kids are amazing and responsible and I can do things without a babysitter and they don’t throw rocking parties (YESSSSSSSS)…;

My student loans are arranged to start next week and be $39.45 a month for the next 108 years;

I haven’t killed all of my plants;

I have been writing again, a lot… I have no idea where I find the time….

Andddddd I got to see the Silent Comedy do Fleetwood Mac and dance with said boyfriend.

What else could a woman want?

xoxo

Jani

 

 

 

Confirmation Bias, perhapst…..

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Confirmation Bias, perhapst…..

Have you ever had one of those moments where you are remembering something you previously thought or said when suddenly something specifically interacts with you regarding it? I’m sure it is some sort of confirmation bias, part of the reason that divining tools and/or oracles seem spot on… You hear what you need to or are supposed to or are receptive to… right?

Ok, so riddle me this, Batman…

You know that place between dreaming and awake? When you are still responsive to the world for the most part but also starting to dream? Yeah. So there I am, there being a subjective ethereal term… and I am remembering a conversation I had about a recent tarot reading and the continuing conversation about a certain song’s potentially related lyrics and how it was super sweet and what I wanted….blah blah blah girl crap…. fast forward back to dreamspeaking state….

and that song comes on.

It was kinda awesome. It even took me a second to process it actually was playing outside of my dreamy state. HA

Yes, I know it doesn’t mean anything, per se….

But it was badass nonetheless.

 

LAAAAUUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAA

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LAAAAUUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAA

I was recently whining about the fact that NIN was touring again and I couldn’t afford tickets; then I rationalized with my sour grapes mentality that since Trent got clean, I hadn’t particularly cared for the new music or his side projects with his wife…

Then I saw this new video.

Which is of course directed by David Lynch, whom I love (I realized people either love him or hate him….I am a lover….)

And with the exception of Trent looking less like this: (yum)

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And a little more like this:

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I’d say that NIN has found it’s good stuff again.

YES.

There is a warning re: epilepsy soooo if you have it maybe don’t watch.

Enjoy:

My pursuit of happiness….

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My pursuit of happiness….
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
I don’t care, hand on the wheel, driving drunk, I’m doin’ my thing
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin’ my life getting’ out dreams
People told me slow my roll I’m screaming out

fuck that

Imma do just what I want lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
If I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest
If I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bulletsI’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold
I’ll be fine once I get it, yeah
I’ll be good.Tell me what you know about dreamin’ dreamin’
You don’t really know about nothin’ nothin’
Tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin’ up to the sky
Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin’
You don’t really care about the trials of tomorrow
Rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold
I’ll be fine once I get it, yeah
I’ll be good.

I’m on the pursuit of happiness.
I know everything that shine ain’t always gold
I’ll be fine once I get it, yeah
I’ll be good.

hands on the wheel? Uh uh FUCK THAT
hands on the wheel? kick drum high hat
hands on the wheel? Uh uh FUCK THAT
hands on the wheel?
I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold, hey
I’ll be fine once I get it, yeah
I’ll be good
Im on the Pursuit of happiness.

The twitch….

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The twitch….

When no one is looking, I like to dance. Now I realize that despite what I think and my most bestest efforts, I do not look like Shakira. I imagine I look a bit like what a Tracy Anderson workout video would look like if she was convulsing on peyote and/or having a spastic seizure. And you know, I am ok with that. My daughter has caught me a couple of times, which incited fits of laughter each time. But I don’t mind. It makes me feel good.

A typical playlist to make me get all Jim Morrison in my kitchen follows, enjoy.

Good times.

Roger Waters: The Wall……YOU MUST GO

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Roger Waters: The Wall……YOU MUST GO

Yesterday was just an ordinary day of trying to get my car to pass emissions. You know just spending money on BS. Then someone texted me and offered me a FREE ticket to Roger Waters last night. Of course, I went. It was a once in a life time opportunity.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, the wall is one of my most nostalgic albums. The movie, was once my absolute favorite movie…I was sure the secret to life was held in it somehow….I watched it once as an adult and didn’t quite get it. But last night the small pieces that were intertwined in it made me want to see it again.

I’m not going to be able to encapsulate all that it was, but I will mention some highlights and share some pictures.

The way that Roger Waters juxtaposed and paralleled 1984esque Big Brother mentality, our current government/police state, the ongoing war on “terrorism,” drugs, capitalism, WWII, Iraq, Afghanistan, the London bombings, genocide, shell, BP, Apple, Iphone, Ieverything, Mercedes Benz, banks, bailouts, &(^(@#^$)^_*^&@#$(^#%)( was freaking BRILLIANT.

The light show/projectors, smoke and mirrors, planes, puppets, flying pigs, graffiti and the ACTUAL WALL was amazing.

There is one section of my pics wherein my camera wasnt fast enough. It is a set of pictures that reveal a quote:

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

There was some beautiful breasts in there too 😉

The individual bricks were amazing.

Roger himself looks like Richard Gere these days. And he sounds the same today as he did 30 years ago. It’s just mind-blowing.

It was a cerebral, audio, visual energy pill for my soul.

If you have a chance to go, you would be a fool to pass it up. I am so thankful I didn’t.

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