Tag Archives: winter

How could I forget?

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How could I forget?

How much I love(d) Sarah McLachlan… whilst listening a soul sucking mean social media music provider, this song came on: Drawn to the rhythm and afterward I fell in a rabbit hole. The second CD that I ever bought was ‘fumbling towards ecstasy’. I think I was 13 or 14 and I spent the next few months with it on repeat constantly. I really felt connected to the words/songs and thought that they meant one thing, and I suppose then it did. I listened to the entire album today. I found myself instantly reconnecting. It was like visiting an old friend, one that you held secrets with and wax nostalgic but realize how much you’ve both changed. You realize with age and hindsight your previous way of understanding things are no longer the reality. 

To you at least, everything has changed and you have a hard time remembering what made you love them before, because you didn’t even know then, the things that make you love them now. Ha. Perhaps this doesn’t make anymore sense in written form than it did outloud, but in my mind it was quite a profound thought to me. 

Which led me to the train of thought about sharing things with friends or people you consider to wise, as you respect and value what they think and say. I’ve been having some pretty big contemplations as I’m want to do, as soon as things slow down, become complacent, comfortable (usually during the winter). I started thinking about the people that I would talk to then, and now, and the differences in how I would make decisions based upon what they would say. For example, I need to make a couple big decisions in the very near future and if I asked ten of my “go to people” (ha, ten is a stretch of people I would talk to about things) and how I could anticipate the ten, very different opinions they would give. They would be based on who they are, what they know about me, what they know about the situations, where they are in their own moods, lives, development, maturity, what they could have to gain or lose based on the outcome of the decision, etc. etc. etc.

And like the lyrics and meanings of songs, it’s all up to the listener’s present, their parallels to draw, their position to filter through. 

So how does one make a decision about big things? Do you meditate? Ask your parent? What if that’s not an option? Peers? Siblings? Bosses? Therapist? TAROT for goddess’s sake? (Which again, is just like the lyrics… concrete definitions are applied to the words which communicate the meaning of the song but what is heard and inferred, well… that’s on the listener.)

Who knows. Maybe I just think too much. Just watch the lovely Sarah not trying to guilt you into gifting to the ASPCA. Isn’t she beautiful? Ughhh it kills me. 


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Winter Solstice ponderings

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Winter Solstice ponderings

Today is the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. It has always held mixed meanings for me. My first wedding was held near the Autumnal Equinox and my last wedding was on the Winter Solstice. I came full circle through the seasons and while that final wedding boded no better than the first, it was and will be, my last.

This year, I want to focus on the actually perceivable aspects of it; the eternal pendulum of dark versus light finally swings toward the light again. The darkness has been building up to this point, and now the light finally wins for while. I am going to make sure that I hold that thought within myself… KEEP YOUR LIGHT.

The darkest days are over for this cycle.

From here out, I will stay mindful of this with the intent that it will guide my choices and my attitude in the coming months. Just as Winter signifies an end, it also indicates the impending Spring. A time of rebirth. A time of renewal. A time of creation.

And that is the miracle.

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men…..

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I had such plans for today!

Alas, Mother Nature had other plans.

 

So kiddos are home for a couple more hours.

I’m looking at the snow, it’s looking at me, and I want to seed the clouds with Lithium.

So in honor of rolling with the punches, I give you music for the snowy soul (atleast it’s not rain yet!):

Yeah ah ey yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……

Perhaps my Spring Break will be better tomorrow.

I like it, I’m not gonna crack……..

But I would like to sing a different song tomorrow:

Spring…is here…..again…..

Ostara….Eostre…Easter…whatever…Spring!

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Ostara….Eostre…Easter…whatever…Spring!

WAHOOOOOO! It’s the first day of SPRING!

Now mind you, one would not know that by looking out my windows, as here in the magically and infamously warm and balmy Pacific Northwest, it is snowing. :/ Sigh.

However, the Pagan celebration of the spring equinox, known by many names (Ostara, Eostre, etc.) is not unlike numerous other festivals, holidays and “holy days,” that the religion in power has changed to suit its purposes. One does not have to try hard to see the similarities between Ostara, Eostre and Easter. Both have to eggs (fertility), rabbits (known of course for their “fecundity” and affinity for chocolate?…hahah) and grass, beginnings and rebirth attached. But this is not to be a commentary on the bastardization of cyclic events! No sir! I shall NOT digress!

Today, I want only to remind you that today is the beginning of the REAL new year. The light and the darkness are balanced today. From here until the winter solstice, the light shall be dominant.  Let it be the same in your mind, heart and body. Start this season with intention, decide how you want your life to be and begin it today, anew. Release the darkness of the winter and make strides to shrug off the heaviness, in whatever form it may have actualized on you.

Go for a walk. Meditate. Say what you need to say, to whomever you need to say it to. Smell a flower. Perform a fertility ritual. Have some sex. Smudge your house. Spring cleaning isn’t just about dusting the places you can’t easily reach….or is it? 😀

Perform whatever cleansing ritual you desire, be it cleaning your house, saying a prayer or simply opening your windows. Plant a seed, mentally or physically.

Begin again.

Love and Light,

Jani

xoxo

Absolve

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Absolve

Mornings come with quick resolve.

decisions made to stick to

prayers for rain answered by layers of snow.

snow angels absolve my guilt.

tongue stuck out for flakes

spinning in a storm that is my own

I create the weather.