Tag Archives: weight loss

In case video games made you, um, fluffy?

In case video games made you, um, fluffy?

I may have found a cure. It’s like a video game.

And it helps you track goals and reward yourself….

“Leveling up” if I might…..

All the concepts are there…minus the monsters.

Actually….Call your fat ass the monster…

It’s frightening, really.

I’ve¬†seen it. ūüėČ

Check it out.




So I have accomplished a lot in my few years on this planet and lots of things to be proud of, actually. But I am about to share a minor victory with you that is HUGE for me on the scale of personal triumphs and rather small on the scale of first world problems:

As a “bigger than she would like to be albeit still within the realm of healthy-ish” gal, I bought a pair of jeans online going from my knowledge of the brand and sizes that I usually buy there (ahem, old navy). To my sad, sad realization over about 6 months ago when my joy turned to disgust and self-loathing, I realized I was no longer an old navy 14. I went to the store to try on pants and see if it was something different about the online clothes. Maybe it was stretchy vas nonstretchy…maybe it was trousers vs jeans…..maybe it was anything except I got fucking FAT. Now I am all for curvy girls and fat power and fat acceptance and this is not any sort of judgment on anyone but myself. As someone who has prided herself probably too much on her looks and not nearly as much on her insane intelligence as she should have over the years, to say it was a blow to my ego is an understatement.

I digress.

The point being, rather than exchanging these pants, they became another pair of “throw them in the closet because SOMEDAY they will fit”¬†nonsense. Don’t lie, you know you have a pair too.

Only today, out of sheer curiosity, I tried them on and they fit. Infact, they are kinda baggy on my ass.

Needless to say, I had a Flo moment.


Guilt is a worthless emotion.

Guilt is a worthless emotion.

I don’t know if you all have been paying attention, but if so, you will know that I have lost 11 pounds in as many days on the Dukan Diet. Yay me.

That being said, it is starting to affect my subconscious.

I dreamed last night the most luscious of dreams.

I was cheating on the husband. My lover (and oh man was he) took me to dinner in New Orleans and I ate shrimp, a proper food for my Dukan Diet.

But dessert……oh, that was pure decadence.

Bananas Foster.

It was DIVINE>

And as I took the last bite, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I felt guilty and began bawling like a wee lass who lost her puppy.

I felt no remorse cheating on my husband. But on my diet? That was more than I could handle.

I think there must be something to the fact that I chose a dessert I have never had and also the fact that it is one that is on fire…..

Oy vei.

Dukan? You can!

Dukan? You can!

I started the Dukan Diet. Yes, yes I know. But something has got to give. So save your lectures and anti-carb-free diet stories. ¬†Anyhow, as I am reading the book looking for all sorts of magical insights and inspirational thoughts, I read this passage that made me think about other things….

“Losing weight is the same as feeding yourself with fat and cholesterol. ……with each weight loss, your body makes you consume your fat reserves, so when you lose 20 pounds, it is almost as if you had eaten that amount of fat or butter….a large quantity of cholesterol and triglycerides circulates in your blood.” ~Dr. Pierre Dukan

So I immediately think about Rachel Carson, environmental toxins, and fat soluble toxins. This beginning part could be yucky feeling., as this crap is processed out of my body BUT¬†at least¬†I can attest that I have lived more often than not in places that aren’t toxic dump sites so hopefully I have less than most. I also eat mostly fresh and healthy foods, organic when I can afford it and until I started this stupid diet rarely any meat and NEVER any dairy (ok, I have a cheese¬†weakness¬†occasionally) But as someone with an already depressed thyroid function, I anticipate my thyroid needs may go up as this journey progresses. Oy.

Don’t worry, I am drinking plenty of dandelion and detox tea to help this along as well as my numerous supplements ranging from yellow dock to salmon oil. Really what I am going to miss is my lovely alcohol. Sigh

And fruit. I will see you in January.

I have decided the best way to avoid being inundated with toxins released by your body’s melting blubber reserves is to never get¬†unhealthily fat. DOH

New workout friend!

New workout friend!

I recently placed an ad on Craigslist that stated something to the effect of “Fat girl seeks same for competitive workout partner to keep me honest and blah blah.

I got several responses but only one seemed safe ūüôā I Facebook stalked her and we finally met up today and it seems fab. It will be nice to have someone that I am not in a relationship with to share weight and measurements and f**kups with.

We are very close to the same size and have incredibly similar goals and time frames…..

We both are gonna do this:


So we have a goal and a date to get there.

Plus, we both have spouses to work with. YAY us.

Au revoir, Ass.


Mindfulness, Yoga, Meditation and eating….how are they connected?

Mindfulness, Yoga, Meditation and eating….how are they connected?

I recently began going to yoga again, now that my schedule has been somewhat leveled. I was musing on the fact that I may never lose an ounce from yoga, but I sure feel lighter when I leave. In response to that, one of the wisest people I know said that many people he knows that are good at meditation and yoga become very aware of mindful eating and in that practice, lose weight and become much healthier all around.

It got me thinking.

Mindful eating is something that one has to do on purpose. One has to be “mindful” and eat with purpose and joy. All things I have read about, I mean come on! Anyone who is a well read wannabe couch¬†Buddhist¬†knows what it is but the verb of it,¬†rather¬†than the noun or adjective is the tough part.

I’ve had sensual experiences with food. I was mindful of my eating then, but on another level and with a partner. I have desired to go to one of those blackout restaurants where you eat in total darkness, but my superhero hearing leads me to believe that this would be a disaster of annoyance with other people eating. Hork.

I digress.

Suffice it to say, I have never done it for the sake of nourishing my body or soul. I have never participated in a table prayer to give thanks for any forthcoming nourishment or gave thanks to sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus for what I was about to receive. I have ingested things mindfully and with purpose in what could be called a ritualistic fashion, but not what this is implying.

So I, being me, set out to do some research. Cause that’s how everyone rolls right? I’m such a maven, oy.

Anyhow, I happened across this article:


“Mindful eating is not a diet, or about giving up anything at all. It‚Äôs about experiencing food more intensely ‚ÄĒ especially the pleasure of it. You can eat a cheeseburger mindfully, if you wish. You might enjoy it a lot more. Or you might decide, halfway through, that your body has had enough. Or that it really needs some¬†salad.” ~¬†¬†JEFF GORDINIER

I tend to become very mindLESS while eating it is true. I am doing homework, talking, watching tv, listening to a lecture, on my way to work, even¬†arguing with someone, talking on the phone, whatever. I don’t realize I haven’t taken a breath until I am forced to pause and say “whoa, where the eff is my spicy black bean burger?” And I admit it. Sometimes I am sad when I realize my food is gone. Especially if it was something that is my favorite, like a spicy¬†black¬†bean burger with avocado on it.

So in an effort to truly embrace my yoga and meditation and to savor my future spicy black bean burgers, I am going to start being mindful about mindful eating. It shall be joyous.

Ita Da Ki Masu.

(I take this nourishment in gratitude to all beings)