Tag Archives: vacation

Cleaning out my closet….

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Cleaning out my closet….

The last two days, my house has been trashed.

Papers are strewn about, there are open boxes on tables, counters, floors, files open and stacked, from room to room. It seriously looks like a crazy manic event has gone on here. Maybe it has, I don’t know. I digress.

It started out at a vain attempt to find my seventh grade school picture to compare to the girlchild’s, but it became a self-imposed therapeutic event. As I have been going through boxes of my life, looking at pictures, questioning why I have kept the wrapper for a package of garbage pail kids for 25+ years; I have been processing. Letting go. Thinking about people I haven’t thought about, wondering why I kept things they gave me, notes they wrote. I even wrote a poem about it.

Dealing with things left undealt with in a millenia. It’s like the end of my own episode of ‘Hoarders’.…keep, sell, trash….keep, sell, trash...Only mine is keep, share or trash….It’s been cathartic to say the least.

Now my house is still beyond trashed and I am sure that my half unpacked and sorted boxes are pretty physically representative of my brain these days. BUT I have also began to delete, resort and annihilate my narcissistic self-representation I call my Facebook, so it’s been multitaskinspirationalistic. And really, if you know me, I function soooo much better with 8923470387304750345 things to do. Don’t let me get bored. I will think of a reason to save a wrapper.

Throwing things away feels good.

Sharing forgotten and remembered memories for that matter feels good.

It’s been a long time coming, this unpacking of Jani.

You should try it; throw something away from your childhood.

Look at it. Hold it. Share it. Remember and then toss it.

Why do you keep what you keep?

They’re only things, after all.

I dealt with things better once upon a time and I am trying to relearn that now.

A wee parable….

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A wee parable….

Once upon a time, there was a family of birds. Now this family of birds, they were unlike a lot of birds. They couldn’t fly. Because they couldn’t fly, they dealt with a lot of scary things because they nested on the ground, could only move as far as they could walk, were unable to migrate during the winter, etc. The mom bird decided she didn’t like not being able to fly, so she went and started secretly watching the other birds that could fly.

Once she understood the basics, she introduced herself and started becoming friends with the other birds who taught her more about the final details of how to fly. Then one day, she took off and flew. Being able to see the world from the sky gave her a view of the world so much larger than her little micro world. She could not believe how much of the world she had missed, simply being on the ground. The view up there was amazing.

Excited by her accomplishment, she went to her family and tried to teach them how to fly, encouraging them with the fine details and lessons she had learned herself while learning to fly. This made some in her family angry and scared. “What business did she have flying,” they asked “What was wrong with her family not being able to fly?”

The family told her that she needed to NEVER fly when she was at home. She could fly at school. She could fly at work. But she was never to fly at home, tell the kids about flying or press her “new world view” on the rest of the family.

This saddened the mama bird.

She did not know how to do this, flying was no longer a hobby, something she wanted to accomplish; it had become a part of her, a part of her core belief system. Asking her to not do it at home was like asking her to pretend to be someone else.

She was reminded of the story of Pandora’s box…

to be continued….

Little Art/Big Cause Pieces

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Little Art/Big Cause Pieces

This year I am participating in Scandals annual Little Wood/Big Cause

According to Munro Rost, “A portion of the money raised for all 8 x 8 pieces of art sold, help to benefit our featured Non – profit organization for the “PRIDE” season. Scandals has raised enough to help keep HIV/AIDS testing free to the public through Cascade AIDS Project, for the past six years! We were only able to that with the help of YOU, and our community, through events such as (LA/BC), and our three day “PRIDE” Block Party!”
As you may or may not know about me, the LGBTQ community and raising HIV/AIDS awareness, knowledge and education is one of the most near and dear causes to my heart. I am so excited for my first Portland Pride participation! So for a little shameless self promotion and to get you some of you edumacated on what you could possible be missing in Portland’s beautiful pink triangle….I offer my 5 pieces for preview 🙂
Now mind you, there will be hopefully hundreds of pieces to choose from, my meager five will probably be lost in the mix….BUT if you happen to find all five, they make one smashing statement together and a smaller one individually 🙂

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I would like to add, there are things here you cannot see in the light….My paintings have a lot of texture and 3 separate layers of phosphorescent deliciousness…. For example… The white you see now will be nearly clear when totally dry and that glows in the dark as well….
Hazaah!

De toutes les langues poétiques, le Français est le plus beau or “Expanding the languages you can curse in, a necessary evil.”

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De toutes les langues poétiques, le Français est le plus beau or “Expanding the languages you can curse in, a necessary evil.”

I just purchased levels 1-5 of Rosetta Stone, French. I am so excited. I’ve always wanted to try to learn another language, being from Idaho and in the US the language to learn seemed to be Spanish. But I don’t want to learn it. I’m choosing French because so many of my favorite things are French. If I win the Mega Millions lotto tonight, I will buy a vineyard in France. Plus, if I don’t, I will probably either move to Canada to continue my PhD or join the Peace Corps or Doctors without Borders with my MSW until I have my loans paid off, forgiven or paid down enough to purchase the land for my magic farm.

So it’s an investment in my future. Many of the potential foreign places I could go have French as an official language. I never realized how many! According to Wikipedia, which is NEVER wrong (right, lol) 30 countries, including the Vatican (that is a country? wtf, I missed that….) declare it an official language and 17 others use it, not to mention its unofficial status as a language in Louisiana. My husband also told me many people in the middle east use it or understand it. So yes.

A new thing to add to my vision board 🙂 YES!

Winning.

In the next 10 years, I want to:

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In the next 10 years, I want to:

Do lots of things. Duh.

But specifically, the things I want to do and the places I want to go are as follows….Anyone wanna come with?

  1. Put a down payment on my land and buy atleast 5 of these tumbleweed houses to put in a circle.
  2. Build a labyrinth:                                                                                              
  3. Start my garden.                                                                                      
  4. Buy a couple of these:                                                                              
  5. And these:                                                                                                       
  6. And these:                                                                                                          
  7. And some of those:                                                                                          
  8. And these:                                                                                                          
  9. these:                                                                                                      
  10. these:                                                                                                      
  11. Oh yeah these:                                                                                        
  12. and those:                                                                                                            
  13. Start paying on these and get the rest forgiven magically:                            
  14. Swim here:                                                                                                    
  15. And here:                                                                                                              
  16. And here:                                                                                                              
  17. See this:                                                                                                  
  18. Do this:                                                                                                                
  19. Change this:                                                                                            
  20. Look like this (only different of course):                                                     
  21. Look like this (only different of course):                                                             
  22. Figure out what its like to be an adult without minor children.
  23. Go here:                                                                                                  
  24. Go here:                                                                                                  
  25. Go here:                                                                                                  
  26. Write a book.
  27. Have a gallery show.
  28. Advocate for this:                                                                                      
  29. Do this:                                                                                                            
  30. Possibly move here:                                                                                           
  31. Survive this:                                                                                                
  32. Get this:                                                                                                    

That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Yeah. I think that is all for now….But I reserve the right to add more. Cheers, interweb friends.

Time on my hands….

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So the kids are gone and hubby is of course working. I have all this time on my hands the next two weeks and while I will be working too, my sporadic part-time hours are not nearly as fulfilling when there is nothing but a neurotic dog to come home to…In another life I would be volunteering at a.l.p.h.a. and going to Christmas parties, but I can’t do that here because I have to wait for the Cascade AIDS Project volunteering until I start my practicum. Sigh. So I have decided to make a list of the things I could but more than likely won’t get around to doing with all my free time before I go into full on working student mom wife mode in January:

1. Use the really expensive gym membership we pay for that I have used 4 times since June and hubby has used 0. Yay for wasted resources!

2. Alphabetize the 8947504750340534 books on my shelves that when I unpacked I put into subjects and genres and swore I’d alphabetize later.

3. Write poetry (haven’t done that in like a year)

4. Play my guitar (haven’t done that in like a year)

5. Finish my Sookie Stackhouse novels, that just really aren’t as good now that I have seen the bastardized tv show (comparatively speaking, however last night I was watching “How to make an american quilt” which I haven’t seen in 15 years and realized Sophia, the mermaid character is GRAN! She has ALWAYS been old and looked exactly the same. Magic.)

I digress.

6. Clean out my son’s closet. I may need a hazmat team to do that.

7. Reorganize my clothes….I really have too many and find myself wearing the same 6 things constantly.

8. Start using my yoga dvds again.

9. Go ride the train and people watch.

10. Go to a show in Portland.

11. Take the books back to the library that are a good month overdue. Oops.

12. Sleep. Alot.

13. Finish the project I have for my 1st anniversary. Meh. Maybe this one might get done. Maybe.

14. Take the dry cleaner bag to the dry cleaner *GASP*

15. Take the large blankets from the garage to the laundry mat.

16. Go walk around and look in store front windows and create my fantasy wardrobe and house with home furnishings….

17. Actually go to one of the things the Mormon missionaries keep inviting me too, I just would feel like such a fraud and if I am theologically wrong, by going the church may fall on my head.

18. Go Christmas caroling. Ironically.

19. Get drunk.

20. Get drunk and go Christmas caroling…Drunkenly.

Hmmm. I bet there are lots more things I could do…..Most likely I will just end up at Starbucks, the dog park and here in the inter-webs….I’m so lame. LOL