Tag Archives: travel

Engine light

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Engine light

“Navigator” is an important role…

But so is “Driver”.

Both must give up control of many aspects…

But trust that both intend to arrive at the agreed destination…

Hope; that both travel in the same direction…

at similar speeds…

attitudes and road games can cause wear and tear…

upon both the vehicle and the occupants…

GPS often requires signals that can get lost…

Sometimes you just need to pull over and look at the map.

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Wanderlust, the genes are strong…..

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Wanderlust, the genes are strong…..

Over the years I have simultaneously hated and loved moving. As a child, I hated having to lose hard won friends and MY collected items; they were mine! Why should I have to leave them?

As a teenager, I felt empowered in my lack of belongings. Me, my guitar and a backpack of clothes were all I really cared throughout my world. I eventually got some stuff, but found it very easy and cathartic even to get rid of it all and start over. I did this more often than probably seems healthy, even into my young adulthood. But once my kids were old enough to feel as though things were their possessions and express sorrow over letting go of somethings, I began to associate so much of my childhood with the childhood I was creating for them. And then I started keeping things.

Now mind you, I know I joke about being one pile of crap falling over away from being on “hoarders”, but really I am not that bad. I am on the eclectic end of cluttered but I definitely have too much stuff. I try to have a yard sale and get rid of things when I move, but I don’t move very often anymore so it accumulates…and then I panic. It’s the oddest thing.

I find comfort in my stuff and yet, having things makes me panic. I have not quite really figured out the pathology of it. But I know that as soon as things in my world, material and immaterial start piling up my first instinct is to cut and run. I want to move. I want to declutter. I want to start over. I’m bored. I’m safe. It is fucking terrifying.

Over the last few years, I have found that I can stifle the feeling by rearranging furniture. Painting a room something crazy. redecorating. retheming. But it only works for so long. Most landlords don’t enjoy my molesting their properties with paint and featherdusters and anything else I can slather obnoxious colors on the walls with. Then it happens…. I start to get the wanderlust. My feet start to get that familiar itch…I start to fantasize. I start planning my escape.

Does anyone else cope this way? Suffer this way? I can’t be the only one…..

I am rearranging my house right now. 3 rooms at time. Oy. It’s a hot mess up in here….How long will this change placate me?

A wee parable….

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A wee parable….

Once upon a time, there was a family of birds. Now this family of birds, they were unlike a lot of birds. They couldn’t fly. Because they couldn’t fly, they dealt with a lot of scary things because they nested on the ground, could only move as far as they could walk, were unable to migrate during the winter, etc. The mom bird decided she didn’t like not being able to fly, so she went and started secretly watching the other birds that could fly.

Once she understood the basics, she introduced herself and started becoming friends with the other birds who taught her more about the final details of how to fly. Then one day, she took off and flew. Being able to see the world from the sky gave her a view of the world so much larger than her little micro world. She could not believe how much of the world she had missed, simply being on the ground. The view up there was amazing.

Excited by her accomplishment, she went to her family and tried to teach them how to fly, encouraging them with the fine details and lessons she had learned herself while learning to fly. This made some in her family angry and scared. “What business did she have flying,” they asked “What was wrong with her family not being able to fly?”

The family told her that she needed to NEVER fly when she was at home. She could fly at school. She could fly at work. But she was never to fly at home, tell the kids about flying or press her “new world view” on the rest of the family.

This saddened the mama bird.

She did not know how to do this, flying was no longer a hobby, something she wanted to accomplish; it had become a part of her, a part of her core belief system. Asking her to not do it at home was like asking her to pretend to be someone else.

She was reminded of the story of Pandora’s box…

to be continued….

Little Art/Big Cause Pieces

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Little Art/Big Cause Pieces

This year I am participating in Scandals annual Little Wood/Big Cause

According to Munro Rost, “A portion of the money raised for all 8 x 8 pieces of art sold, help to benefit our featured Non – profit organization for the “PRIDE” season. Scandals has raised enough to help keep HIV/AIDS testing free to the public through Cascade AIDS Project, for the past six years! We were only able to that with the help of YOU, and our community, through events such as (LA/BC), and our three day “PRIDE” Block Party!”
As you may or may not know about me, the LGBTQ community and raising HIV/AIDS awareness, knowledge and education is one of the most near and dear causes to my heart. I am so excited for my first Portland Pride participation! So for a little shameless self promotion and to get you some of you edumacated on what you could possible be missing in Portland’s beautiful pink triangle….I offer my 5 pieces for preview 🙂
Now mind you, there will be hopefully hundreds of pieces to choose from, my meager five will probably be lost in the mix….BUT if you happen to find all five, they make one smashing statement together and a smaller one individually 🙂

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I would like to add, there are things here you cannot see in the light….My paintings have a lot of texture and 3 separate layers of phosphorescent deliciousness…. For example… The white you see now will be nearly clear when totally dry and that glows in the dark as well….
Hazaah!

De toutes les langues poétiques, le Français est le plus beau or “Expanding the languages you can curse in, a necessary evil.”

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De toutes les langues poétiques, le Français est le plus beau or “Expanding the languages you can curse in, a necessary evil.”

I just purchased levels 1-5 of Rosetta Stone, French. I am so excited. I’ve always wanted to try to learn another language, being from Idaho and in the US the language to learn seemed to be Spanish. But I don’t want to learn it. I’m choosing French because so many of my favorite things are French. If I win the Mega Millions lotto tonight, I will buy a vineyard in France. Plus, if I don’t, I will probably either move to Canada to continue my PhD or join the Peace Corps or Doctors without Borders with my MSW until I have my loans paid off, forgiven or paid down enough to purchase the land for my magic farm.

So it’s an investment in my future. Many of the potential foreign places I could go have French as an official language. I never realized how many! According to Wikipedia, which is NEVER wrong (right, lol) 30 countries, including the Vatican (that is a country? wtf, I missed that….) declare it an official language and 17 others use it, not to mention its unofficial status as a language in Louisiana. My husband also told me many people in the middle east use it or understand it. So yes.

A new thing to add to my vision board 🙂 YES!

Winning.

“IT’S NOT A TUMOR!” ~ Det. John Kimble

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“IT’S NOT A TUMOR!” ~ Det. John Kimble

This morning I had to take the boy and girl child to apply to get their passports. According to the website for the post office, they do passport applications from 8 am to 2pm Monday through Friday.

Au Contraire, mes ami.

Apparently because of cutbacks, they have reduced the hours so we had to leave and comeback, ergo the kiddos missed even more school than I intended. WTF ever.

I digress.

The actual point of this post is that when I got out of the car at the post office the first time, the sun actually peeked out from a cloud and forced me to put my sunglasses to work as a sunglasses, rather than as a hair control tool.  Suddenly, from nowhere I smelled nag champa. LIKE BAM. The kids said “No, I don’t smell anything.” So I am smelling my clothes, the car, the air, whatever, like a crazy person while my children are laughing at me. I can’t find the source of this scent that is bordering on causing a headache. We go in the post office and it magically dissipates.

We come out a few minutes later, disgruntled at their ineptitude for changing websites (totally their fault I am sure) and I smell it again! The kids, nothing. My son offers that we are in the “hipster neighborhood” maybe there is just someone burning nag champa and only my well honed nose can smell it. Possible. So we go get the kid some crepes, while we wait.

An HOUR passes and we go back to the post office. Do what we need to do. Come out, and I smell it again. The kids laugh and at this point I am starting to believe it has something to do with the post office or phantom smells or paranormal hippie ghosts, perhaps I have had a stroke or I have a brain tumor, cause this is giving me a headache.

I turn down Washington, away from the sun and take my sunglasses off. Miraculously, the smell is gone. A light bulb went on. I put the sunglasses on, the smell is there. It was my sunglasses! I had them in the bathroom basket with my soaps overnight. They now STINK of nag champa.

HAHAHHAHAH. Well played, goat milk soap. Well played.

BUT HEY! All this means is the sun is shining! WEIRD!

I’ll take a nag champa induced headache over clouds any day.

Cheers!

xoxo

In the next 10 years, I want to:

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In the next 10 years, I want to:

Do lots of things. Duh.

But specifically, the things I want to do and the places I want to go are as follows….Anyone wanna come with?

  1. Put a down payment on my land and buy atleast 5 of these tumbleweed houses to put in a circle.
  2. Build a labyrinth:                                                                                              
  3. Start my garden.                                                                                      
  4. Buy a couple of these:                                                                              
  5. And these:                                                                                                       
  6. And these:                                                                                                          
  7. And some of those:                                                                                          
  8. And these:                                                                                                          
  9. these:                                                                                                      
  10. these:                                                                                                      
  11. Oh yeah these:                                                                                        
  12. and those:                                                                                                            
  13. Start paying on these and get the rest forgiven magically:                            
  14. Swim here:                                                                                                    
  15. And here:                                                                                                              
  16. And here:                                                                                                              
  17. See this:                                                                                                  
  18. Do this:                                                                                                                
  19. Change this:                                                                                            
  20. Look like this (only different of course):                                                     
  21. Look like this (only different of course):                                                             
  22. Figure out what its like to be an adult without minor children.
  23. Go here:                                                                                                  
  24. Go here:                                                                                                  
  25. Go here:                                                                                                  
  26. Write a book.
  27. Have a gallery show.
  28. Advocate for this:                                                                                      
  29. Do this:                                                                                                            
  30. Possibly move here:                                                                                           
  31. Survive this:                                                                                                
  32. Get this:                                                                                                    

That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Yeah. I think that is all for now….But I reserve the right to add more. Cheers, interweb friends.