Tag Archives: spirituality

Faith

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Faith

I’d like to say I’m like Stevie;

“I have no fear and only love…”

But I’d be a liar.

I fear I’m not good enough for you.

I’m afraid I don’t deserve you

Or your grace

Or your love.

And then I hear your voice.

It all melts away.

Everything is clear

And everything makes sense.

All of my decisions made from ignorance,

All of my choices made from desperation…

I pray to sustain the connection

and lose all of my doubt.

Gifts of the Magi

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Gifts of the Magi

Unexpectedly, in my way;

Offering truth and love, for my consideration.

Reciprocating, in my way;

Giving freedom and beauty, for your consideration.

All the things I believed I had brought,

I really came for…

All the things you believed you lacked,

You were really blessed with…

You gave me a lantern.

I gave you the map.

New Years’ Epiphany

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New Years’ Epiphany

I figured it out.

I’ll take care of me, for you.

You do you, for me.

Ritual

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Ritual

Like a Pagan rite, 

your name shall anoint my skin.

Altar prone, fearless. 

A poem to a ghost 2.0: Post-ghost writing….

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A poem to a ghost 2.0: Post-ghost writing….

In loving you I have loved myself

They are one in the same

tethering myself to you through the years

Love is a strength that grounds us

I needed to see myself as you see me

You are as I see you

I have anchored myself in that which is the you I have created

Through a glass, darkly

but you need to move on

I do, but not from you.  We have always been together.  Always.

I understand that now

into the beautiful ether…

Back from the beautiful, yet terrifying, ether.  This world is my ground.

Into the rest of your own experience

Don’t be silly, things are not so serious as we make them.

Souls united as ours cannot be separated

This is truth.

in truth

but the tie that binds can be undone

Quantum Mechanics, my darling

In loving myself I can love you

You can do both

but letting you go shall be my

True love is free, and unconditional.

most loving action for you.

*Original version published March 14th, 2012

**Bold written by someone besides me.

DSABASMJ….

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DSABASMJ….

Dear sweet ancient baby alien space monkey, Jebus:

I am about to go to my interview for a job that could potentially lead me straight into a potential future I like, so I humbly ask:

  • Please don’t let me sound like an idiot or a fraud.
  • Please give me the magical Goddess inspired words to wow them.
  • Please let my interviewers be part of the 50% who sees yellow as cheerful, not the 50% who are made anxious by it.
  • Please let me get the right job if it is not this one, very quickly, in time to pay my stuff next month.

Humina-Humina, monkey dust, catholic mumbo jumbo, hoodoo voodoo, sacrificial animal of your choice, genuflection, crosses and rituals, dancing on one foot, spinning around, holding snakes, talking in tongues, holy water, smudge smoke, mecca lecca hi mecca hiney ho, and all that other sh*t.

Amen.

XOXO

Jani

Hey Zeus, please don’t save me.

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Hey Zeus, please don’t save me.

I often have a hard time keeping my own secular views separate from the views of people I interact with on a professional level. It is definitely something I work on, as often as I can consciously be aware of. Secular may even be too strong of a word, as I have a belief system myself. I just tend to find it does not align with the greater population’s. When one works among non-faith based organizations it is often ethically difficult for me to see how they bleed into faith based practices and not to intervene.

I understand the resilience piece of “religion.” It is very important to some people’s recovery and personal growth, their entire identity may be based in it. It’s also a definitive pro-social activity for most. It is a sense of community. Churches offer many things to many people. But to have it be the only option in some circles is frustrating.

I really find religion to be exactly as described by Marx and others. An opiate of a society. I am not an atheist. Truth be told, I believe in energy and the human need to name it. That is all. And aliens; sweet ancient baby alien space monkeys, named Jebus….

I digress.

Perhaps it is because of my own relationship or lack there of with organized religion that causes this disconnect. Guilt was the only religious icon my family of origin worshiped, and even that was in secret.  I have read into many religions and feel comfortable with my base knowledge of most. I feel that I am open minded and liberal about most things, but I have a real hang up about religion. Why is that?

I find myself judging most religions for being judgmental. I find myself wanting to offer alternatives to people that don’t want to do anything but church related activities…How do you temper that? I frustrate myself.

Cliché or not, spirituality I find inspiring, religion I find oppressive. Oy.

One thing I have realized over the years is that I find more patriarchal religions to be the most aggravating to me…perhaps it is my inner feminist that spurs my disdain. The thought is ever evolving….

Onward….

I’m not neglecting you. Here is a poem for the interim:

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I’m not neglecting you. Here is a poem for the interim:

Song Of The Rain VII by Khalil Gibran

I am dotted silver threads dropped from heaven
By the gods. Nature then takes me, to adorn
Her fields and valleys.

I am beautiful pearls, plucked from the
Crown of Ishtar by the daughter of Dawn
To embellish the gardens.

When I cry the hills laugh;
When I humble myself the flowers rejoice;
When I bow, all things are elated.

The field and the cloud are lovers
And between them I am a messenger of mercy.
I quench the thirst of one;
I cure the ailment of the other.

The voice of thunder declares my arrival;
The rainbow announces my departure.
I am like earthly life, which begins at
The feet of the mad elements and ends
Under the upraised wings of death.

I emerge from the heard of the sea
Soar with the breeze. When I see a field in
Need, I descend and embrace the flowers and
The trees in a million little ways.

I touch gently at the windows with my
Soft fingers, and my announcement is a
Welcome song. All can hear, but only
The sensitive can understand.

The heat in the air gives birth to me,
But in turn I kill it,
As woman overcomes man with
The strength she takes from him.

I am the sigh of the sea;
The laughter of the field;
The tears of heaven.

So with love –
Sighs from the deep sea of affection;
Laughter from the colorful field of the spirit;
Tears from the endless heaven of memories.

 

xoxo

A poem to a ghost:

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A poem to a ghost:

In loving you I have loved myself

tethering myself to you through the years

I needed to see myself as you see me

I have anchored myself in that which is the you I have created

but you need to move on

I understand that now

into the beautiful ether…

Into the rest of your own experience

Souls united as ours cannot be separated

in truth

but the tie that binds can be undone

In loving myself I can love you

but letting you go shall be my

most loving action for you.