Tag Archives: presidential debate

the “debate”


So since I have people NOT being bitchy but bitching about me not having written a new post I should be thankful that people want to read what I am writing and be assuaged to ignore my carpal tunnel 😛 Ahem.

I’ve often joked that I am going to run for president. I have also stated that my main platform would be mandatory sterilization at birth until you can prove yourself worthy of parenting. Naysayers have said that this is no different than Eugenics and that I should essentially be tarred and feathered for saying so. My plan says nothing of race, intelligence, ethnicity, religion or anything else. Its across the board equally sterilizing ALLLLLL PEOPLE. However, I do not believe that these people realize the amount of money and time and care and sorrow and blah blah blah goes into the equation. I have worked with so many parents who should never have been allowed to breed. They are terrible people who do the most horrendous things to children.

I digress.

I could write a whole HUGE blog on that, I may come back and do that later; but my initial prompt for this was the lighthearted yet enormous debate debacle that I watched last night from Iowa…my point being that I don’t think that my platform would be too terrible given (according to last night’s “debate”) Bachmann showed me all I have to do is chant” Win Win Win” to do it.

I (sad to admit these days) am a registered republican. I vote pretty independent and the longer I live, the more I lean toward conservative democrat, but upon registering at 18, I chose the big red R.  So, that makes me qualified to make predictions based upon the debate. Here they are:

Ron Paul is the smartest and most valid R candidate; but he is a weird guy. No matter how many times I vote for him he simply will not ever be president. This saddens me, but it is what it is.

Rick Perry is good ol’Dubya’s replacement. I hope only once. Really. He frightens me almost as much as Palin did. I predict he has some crazy drunken scandal, like giving an important speech walking on his lips which makes him have to withdraw like Cain (thank sweet ancient baby alien Space Monkey Jebus for that). Oh wait…didn’t he already? Hmm….Damn.

Rick Santorum I believe is secretly going to roman style bathhouses accompanied by a couple incredibly famous family men who belong to the L. Ron Hubbard fan club. He will be exposed by paparazzi, blame meth and the devil, apologize and disappear. (PHEW another bullet dodged.)

Mitt Romney will experience a PR disaster in which his wife, trying to make him more attractive gives him too dark of a “Just for Men” shampoo which causes his wise man grey temples to go black; ridding him of all plausibility and breaking the spell his magnificent gray temples had casted which glamoured people into believing his seeming pastoral leadership qualities…. despite his George Hamilton fake tan.

Michele Bachmann. Oy. Oy. Oy. Part of me wants to like her. She must be somewhat intelligent, having gone to law school and passed the bar. And she is a fruit fly, just like me. But that’s where the similarities end for me. Her gay husband has apparently cured himself, being a counselor who cures “the gays.” And they take in foster kids! In addition to all their own! These people are Christian saints!

Except for her whole “You have a teacher talking about his gayness. (The elementary school student) goes home then and says “Mom! What’s gayness? We had a teacher talking about this today.” The mother says “Well, that’s when a man likes other men, and they don’t like girls.” The boy’s eight. He’s thinking, “Hmm. I don’t like girls. I like boys. Maybe I’m gay.” And you think, “Oh, that’s, that’s way out there. The kid isn’t gonna think that.” Are you kidding? That happens all the time. You don’t think that this is intentional, the message that’s being given to these kids? That’s child abuse.”

“If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.”

“Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.”

But I suppose, if differences in sexuality were accepted, her husband would be out of a job….oops. Guess she better sway policy her direction. I predict once her husband is caught in Aspen with Larry Craig, she will become a proponent for real equal rights.

Newt Gingrich. FML. He knows the lingo and the names to drop and the times to drop them. But he thinks that ALL poor children come from poor neighborhoods broken homes and lazy people. He wants them to be able to work as soon as they are able. He thinks child labor laws are stupid. Other than perhaps on his back and his ass, I don’t see a lot of work ethic from him. Seems he’s teaching his children (or his wive’s? mistress’s? children?) how to collect large sums for practically no work and how man-up, divorce your wife and marry the other woman. He avoided Vietnam. I bet this made his adopted father really happy, given he was a career military guy. Plus, Newt pisses foreign leaders off. He speaks out of turn. Rude.

But he’s up in the polls. People seem to trust him. President Gingrich hopefully won’t pick Santorum as his VP. Obama couldn’t fix the fucked up crap Bush left him in the amount of time people who don’t get it wanted him to so they will vote away from him. It’s sad. Another term might have gotten us somewhere with Obama.

Sigh, maybe I should run Charlie Sheen could be my VP. Then we could say “WINNING, WINNING, WINNING!”

Vote Jani Belcoe, 2027.