Tag Archives: pinups

33 AKA Oh, Adam.

33 AKA Oh, Adam.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Chris who, under the influence of a great amount of hallucinogenics,  spent a great long while trying to convince me of the significance of the number 3 and told me of the number 33 being even more magic….

Well, yesterday, I turned 33 and I thought of him.

I had intended to write a long superlative post on the many symbolic, mystical and trivial things related to the number 33….But I heard this song on the way home and realized I am 33…while remembering when I bought this album, I was 19 and pregnant…33 seemed soooooooooo old and 17 seemed so recent. Gees.

Now this song means ever so much more.

All my Friends by Adam Duritz (Counting Crows)

Thought i might get a rocket ride
When i was a child but it was a lie
That i told myself when i needed something good
At 17 had a better dream
Now i’m 33 and it isn’t me
But i’d think of something better if i could

All my friends and lovers leave me behind
I’m still looking for a girl
One way or another
I’m just hoping to find a way
To put my feet out in the world

Caught some grief from a falling leaf
As she tumbled down to the dirty ground
Said i shoulda put her back there if i could
But everyone needs a better day
And i’m trying to find me a better way
To get from the things i do to the things i should

All my friends and lovers leave me alone
To try and have a little fun
One way or another
I’m just wish i had known
To go out walking in the sun
Find out if you were the one

Do you wanna come a little closer?
Do you wanna dance with me?
Do you wanna hum a little harder now?
Can you see her waiting there?
Can you see her? cause i’m almost there
Can you see her waiting there for someone like me?

All you want is a beauty queen
Not a superstar
But everybody’s dream machine
All you want is a place to lay your head
You go to sleep dreaming how you would
Be a different kind if you thought you could
But you come awake the way you are instead

All my friends and lovers shine like the sun
I just turn and walk away
One way or another
I’m not coming undone
I’m just waiting for the day

I think of the most badass tattoos while in the bath, half asleep. Damn!

I think of the most badass tattoos while in the bath, half asleep. Damn!


I still have my gift certificate to Altered Reality Tattoo….I had planned on having some older tattoos touched up, recolored, tightened up whatever…maintanence lets say, but as I was purposely letting myself fall into that lucid place wherein you can think but know you are falling asleep, it came to me.

I’ve had two quotes in my mind for sometime that I was pretty sure I was getting tattooed but I haven’t had any idea where to put them…if I was a smaller lady the obvious choice, down my bare left side would be ideal. Alas, I am… er, a curvier specimen lets say…. So that idea will have to wait…BUT

I do have plenty of room other places, in fact I have 13 visible tattoos ONLY above my waist so….here’s my lucid plan….

I want a Fibonacci spiral, perhaps a nautilus…still thinking… with a star, liken the northern star , think blue fairy Pinocchio star….in the center and then coming out as the spiral these words….IN MIRRORTYPE…

“Even in complete darkness, the light of hope echoes an eternity….”

If NOT in a Fibonacci spiral, then in a tribal spiral.

Thoughts? Drawings? Feedback?

Yes. Let’s do it.

I went without the heels this time, @BitchinKitchen….

I went without the heels this time, @BitchinKitchen….

So I am really getting into this whole supperclub challenge deal. I’m kinda crushin on Nadia G these days…plus no man would have ever got me to cook in heels….

Anyhoo….This week was Creamy Gorgonzola and Portobello Risotto.

The recipe is as follows:


  • 3 cups organic chicken stock
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 4 Portobello mushrooms, diced
  • 1 yellow onion, minced
  • Sea salt
  • 2 cups Arborio rice
  • 3/4 cup good white wine
  • 1/2 cup crumbled gorgonzola
  • 1/3 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
  • Freshly cracked pepper


Bring the chicken stock to a bare simmer in a saucepan.Meanwhile, heat the butter and olive oil in a medium pot over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute until golden, 1 minute. Add the mushrooms, onions and 1 teaspoon sea salt and saute for 8 minutes. Stir in the rice and cook for 2 minutes. Deglaze with the wine and cook until the wine has reduced completely. Ladle in the simmering broth, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring constantly until the rice absorbs all the broth before adding more. Repeat until all the broth has been added and the rice is al dente, about 20 minutes. Stir in the cheeses and a pinch of sea salt and pepper.Spoon the risotto into bowls and enjoy.

Recipe is from: Cookin’ For Trouble by Nadia G., copyright (c) 2011. Published by Ballantine Books.

But I, being me, had to change it up a bit…

For starters, I had to use vegetable broth as the boy child is allergic to poultry, I cut back on the salt because I find Gorgonzola ridiculously salty and I added extra garlic just cause, I am partial to it…also, I added more broth to compensate for the fact that I felt compelled to add some asparagus because the dish looked a little flat and neutral….

I dig the bright green happy little spear trees…(I’m having a Bob Ross moment….won’t you share it with me? all the happy little asparagus spear trees……)

Whoa. Ok back to cooking….The recipe also gave me a good excuse to buy some Cupcake Wine (from Livermore, Ca, where my bestie lives) besides what I have on the rack, cause I don’t stock white wine 🙂

Here’s what it looked like with a few little Jani tweeks:


In the next 10 years, I want to:

In the next 10 years, I want to:

Do lots of things. Duh.

But specifically, the things I want to do and the places I want to go are as follows….Anyone wanna come with?

  1. Put a down payment on my land and buy atleast 5 of these tumbleweed houses to put in a circle.
  2. Build a labyrinth:                                                                                              
  3. Start my garden.                                                                                      
  4. Buy a couple of these:                                                                              
  5. And these:                                                                                                       
  6. And these:                                                                                                          
  7. And some of those:                                                                                          
  8. And these:                                                                                                          
  9. these:                                                                                                      
  10. these:                                                                                                      
  11. Oh yeah these:                                                                                        
  12. and those:                                                                                                            
  13. Start paying on these and get the rest forgiven magically:                            
  14. Swim here:                                                                                                    
  15. And here:                                                                                                              
  16. And here:                                                                                                              
  17. See this:                                                                                                  
  18. Do this:                                                                                                                
  19. Change this:                                                                                            
  20. Look like this (only different of course):                                                     
  21. Look like this (only different of course):                                                             
  22. Figure out what its like to be an adult without minor children.
  23. Go here:                                                                                                  
  24. Go here:                                                                                                  
  25. Go here:                                                                                                  
  26. Write a book.
  27. Have a gallery show.
  28. Advocate for this:                                                                                      
  29. Do this:                                                                                                            
  30. Possibly move here:                                                                                           
  31. Survive this:                                                                                                
  32. Get this:                                                                                                    

That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Yeah. I think that is all for now….But I reserve the right to add more. Cheers, interweb friends.

Ugh, more poetry? Really? No, it’s a song stupid. Really?

Ugh, more poetry? Really? No, it’s a song stupid. Really?

Yes, really. At this point in my world, I have finals coming up and all sorts of things going on in my “real” life if you want to call it that, so I’m short on time and brain RAM so you get to read the most fantastic poems/songs I ever wrote. Actually, they may not be that fantastic. Who knows, I can love and hate a poem/song I wrote in the same day. Depends on my mood.

So make your own decisions.

This is actually a song if you can hear it in your head as you read it…It’s kinda a Hole sounding song. Like a “Hole’s first album possibly written by Cobain but claimed by Courtney” kinda song…Whatevs, it sounds fab in my room alone with my guitar and no one listening to me sing(read scream) but myself. Cheers!

Subjective Mistress

Drowning in my self-indulgence

weeding through the honored few

I’m haunted by the borrowed ghosts

and lost inside my wicked womb


to stay to bloom to swallow

to consume

to entomb

the truth the truth

subjective mistress

My choose my own adventure life

a constant gardener not just at night

I’m overthought and underfucked

and tangled in your broken loom


to stay to bloom to swallow

to consume

to entomb

the truth the truth

subjective mistress


Burlesque Freakshow


Went to a pretty magical Burlesque last night.

Acrobatics, cellos, crossdressers, traditional tattooed ladies with stripteases, bearded women, little people, bears, etc.

Scariest and most attractive bellydancer ever.


Till the end.

Then they started soliciting for people to staple money to the little person.

“When ever in your life will you again have the chance to staple 20s to a DWARF!”



Did they see this on Jackass or some bullshit? It can’t be real.

I only watched for a few minutes, thinking there must be a catch or a trick to it. Plus I was waiting for the raffle.

Nope. It was real. Somehow, they decided wiping down the bills with alcohol swabs made it sanitary. Even though there was blood on the stapler. His back, side, head, everywhere that they stapled him. i do not even want to go into the Blood-borne Pathogens talk. 10 dollars, he picks where you staple it; for 20, you pick. Anything but face and genitals. Wow. So sad. I am sure this is only the beginning of the kind of depraved things marginalized people in freak shows did 100 years ago. But this is now. Are we really this fucked up?

My date left, disgusted.

I felt guilty for staying.

But an observation: the only ones that actually wanted to staple him, were 25-35 year old drunk white guys.

He got more money though, from women of all ages that patted him and apologized, as they put money in his g-string.

I won the $100 tattoo gift certificate.

But I think it cost me more from my soul to stay for the drawing.



Playing with the devil aka “Bibliomancy”

Playing with the devil aka “Bibliomancy”

From the Bhagavad Gita:

If they depart in the flame, the light, the day, the bright weeks of the moon and the months of increasing light of the sun, those who know Brahman go unto Brahman.

But if they depart in the smoke, the night, the dark weeks of the moon and the months of decreasing days of the sun, they enter the lunar light and return to the world of death.

These are the two paths that are for ever’, the path of light and the path of darkness. The one leads to the land of never-returning: the other returns to sorrow.

Haha, I love finding relevance within literature and religious texts that I can tie to Led Zepplin songs. I chose this book today because of the best dream analysis I received yesterday. What this could mean to me, I haven’t yet divined. But it gives me a good reason to give you this:

The two paths

And remind you of Tolkien when you listen to this Badassness.

I still think that Robert Plant was, perhaps still IS the epitome of sensuality. RAWR.



My husband told me to stay off of my soapbox but I would just like to point out an observation, in the 2012 SI Swimsuit edition, there is less than ten photos of black women. There are more men in the edition than black women.

So I did some Googling (no pun intended) and there have been (identified) 0 Asians, 1 Hispanic, 1 Spanish/Lebanese, and 2 African American women on the cover: Beyonce and Tyra Banks. Since 1964. Wow.

Most of the women have been German, Swedish, Czech or American.

Husband said “How many MEN have been on the cover?…My soapbox is bigger. It’s reverse sexism.”

I am not sure what it means. Perhaps other ethnicities are just smarter than letting themselves be objectified. Perhaps the magazine is radically ethnocentric. Maybe everything about America is ran by white racist men, including SI. Maybe the magazine editor is scared of diversity. Well, Terry McDonnell? Which is it?

Just an interesting observation. That is all.

As some have already questioned my sampling methods, let me remind you before you hunt me down or jump my case: I am getting my info for the covers from google, SI, wiki, their bios. The internet. The ones inside the magazine I am merely guessing because of their skin tone. Don’t jump my shit for assuming someone’s race or ethnicity by skin tone. Its the same assumption I assume (haha) the main demographic of the magazine will make. Just an observation. Not quantifying research.

And yes, I do know the difference between race and ethnicity, before anyone else mentions it.

@BitchinKitchen ‘s Nadia G isn’t the only one that can cook in heels!

@BitchinKitchen ‘s Nadia G isn’t the only one that can cook in heels!

So I got my first pair of couture shoes ever for my birthday (off of my magical “I ain’t never gonna get none of this shit list”…Good job Husband) and they were expensive. I, being me, don’t have many places to wear a pair of shoes that comes with 3 fancy bags, one for each shoe and one for both bagged shoes AND a box to put the final bag in. So I decided I am gonna wear these bitches whenever I can. Folding laundry. Cooking breakfast. You know. Whenever. 

(Plus, I really like cooking and being 5 inches taller, no more kitchen stool for me!)

The hardest part about it was taking pictures of them. Well, that and seeing that I really need to sweep my floor according to these pictures. Eh, I digress.

So in honor of being inspired by Nadia G and having recently watched “V for Vendetta” I made this:

Wearing these:

That makes me a magical superhero. And one hot cherry popping Mama.

Birthday! Birthday! Birthday!

Birthday! Birthday! Birthday!

Soooo since you guys didn’t come through on Christmas, the blessed day of allegedly sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus birth, perhaps you can come through on mine 😉

Here is all I want:

Remember, dress size 14, inseam 31, shoe size 8. Muah



More Cherries!




Blue shoes!


Or you could always go practical of course and buy me this:

I can make my own then:


I’m also open to tattoo gift cards from the following shops/artists:

http://www.alteredrealitytattoo.com/ (Chris Graham)

http://www.hopelessink.com/ (Zak Anderson only)

http://ryanmasontattoos.com/ (Ryan Mason)

Thanks in advance, stalkers!