Tag Archives: penis envy

I missed Tuesday-boozeday, but here’s to HUMP DAY!

Standard
I missed Tuesday-boozeday, but here’s to HUMP DAY!

I have this thing about me, when it comes to alcohol I am pretty simple. I do not like girly frou frou drinks or anything sweet. Typically, I am good with shots. Preferably, whiskey. Tequila, if I am feeling froggy and wanna make an arrogant man feel emasculated by my tequila drinking skills versus his….But that is my own personality flaw…And another reason I am pretty sure this is my first life as a female….I admit it, I often have penis envy…or atleast I am envious of the doors that penises? peni? can open…

I digress.

Point being….When it comes to mixed drinks, rum and coke is as fruity as I get. And don’t put a freaking lime on it, I didn’t order a cuba libre. GAWD

Another thing about my drinking habits, should I say I have a drinking habit? Hmm…My drinking preferences?

Beer makes me sleepy. But if I have to drink it, I better not be able to see through it.

Wine must be red.

And I typically find something I drink for a while and nothing else, until I switch.

Lately, because I was trying to get a drink that wouldn’t make me feel tooo terrible about the empty calories the Cellar Bar at the Ringler’s Annex, one of McMenamin’s magical places, introduced me to this drink. BUT i Janified it 🙂

It breaks all my rules.

It’s sweet.

It’s fruity.

It has a freaking cherry.

It has soda in it.

It has ice.

It comes in a glass that is bigger than this:

Regardless, here is my recipe:

Buvez et obtenez un bon bu!

Janified Amaretto Sour:

First get an array of delicious citrus:

I like to use 2 oranges, 2 tangerines, 4 lemons and 2 limes.

Either use a simple juicer or get all hard core like me and peel your citrus:

Then throw them in your magical centrifugal juicer:

Then you end up with this kind of deliciousness that will separate, make sure you give a good stir before you pour:

Then you wanna give a spoonful of maraschino cherry juice over your ice:

Then fill your glass 1/3 full with Amaretto of your choosing:

Then 1/3 more with your fresh delicious nutritious guilt free citrus juice:

Then top off slowly with some 7up or whatever lemon-lime soda ya got. (this mixture produces a fantastic foam like a root beer float….”It is so good” like Martha Stewart freaking good.)

Top off with a few cherries.

*The more you drink the more cherries you will want. They become a sport to spear in the bottom of your glass 😉

Stir slowly before drinking.

Enjoy!

xoxo

HOLY CRAP I’M SO BUSY.

Standard
HOLY CRAP I’M SO BUSY.

So I am really not ignoring my magical blog or blog followers but work is transitioning, grad school work load actually is catching up with my slacking arse, kiddos are requiring attention because they are kiddos and in dumb ol’public school and in social relationships and all that jazz, hubby is working and schooling, stupid dog needs walked, gay marriage ban has just been ruled unconstitutional in California and washington is working on being #8 officially to allow it, its only a year or two out before its federally accepted, I am sure of it, I’m getting hooked up with a new tattoo for my birthday, Facebook has sucked me back in so I am inundated with news and causes that I feel compelled to act on and read up on, Mt. Hood is trying to explode, my coffee cup is empty and I am just attempting to breathe. Oh add to that the headache I blame on my contacts/glasses, my friends who are convinced it is something more sinister, which leads me to wonder if it is…..AND my hubby got invited into the Masons. No fair. I want a penis. I thought if you wanted to be one, ask one? No one said they can ask you. How come he got recruited? I wanna be recruited. Stupid anatomy.

I digress? Maybe? WTF was I talking about again?

 

Oy. The dog needs attention NOW. Bless me precious sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus.