Tag Archives: passive aggressive

Warning: Passive Aggressive post ahead…. #crazyexes

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Warning: Passive Aggressive post ahead…. #crazyexes

I haven’t had time to do anything meaningful on here in many moons and this will not be truly mind-shattering either. There are lots of things in the world going on that I could write about, Ferguson, California Earthquakes, new ancient aliens episodes, rape culture, journalists being beheaded, etc. But those things are too heavy and I am feeling quite solipsistic. So instead I am taking this space to passive aggressively speak to a cyber stalker whom I (perhaps egotistically) believe will read it.

I have exes. Most of us do. But while I have engaged in some “harmless” ex-stalking in my day like casually checking out their public facebook profile photo just out of plain morbid curiosity, I can with all honesty state I have NEVER friend requested his or her new partner.

I do not want to be their pal. I do not want them to know I was sizing up them up as a previous partner.  

It has actually been sometime since I have done that regardless and I like to think that was due to some insecurity I have outgrown. 

Now, in the last year plus, I have had not one, BUT TWO of my partner’s exes cozying up to me in the cyber world. Really.

One sent threatening messages, showing her true 40+ year old age to be somewhere about 14, this was easily squashed with a magical feature called BLOCKING. No further contact. ¡Salud! 

Oh, but recently, the last month or so, another one popped up. Now mind you, I think my social media presence is ridiculously large, I concur. BUT I have things as locked down as the illusion of privacy permits (sans this blog) and most things have a fake name associated with them or require you need my REAL email to communicate. Well this one, I give her hacker search crazy bitch toolbox props cause she is EVERYWHERE.

On my twitter.

On my facebook.

On my tumblr.

On my instagram.

On my F**KING Pinterest. I had to disable it. I am very sad. Pinterest, get some better privacy settings. Sad face emoticon.

And when the above modes of contact were not successful, she started liking my things or communicating through my partner’s family members we had in common. So I had to delete THEM. That is not good in a newish relationship when you are trying to establish relationships with family members who live out of area, especially when THEY added you, now I just seem rude.

What can be gained of this for you?!

Yes, I can see from your very public disclosures you just got left recently by your partner.

I get it.

I am sorry, but….my partner isn’t available as a back up.

We are currently still together sooooo……

Get some counseling. Talk to a friend in real life. Focus on your kids. Focus on yourself. Self Care. Exes are exes for a reason. Truly.

If my partner wanted communication with you to continue, it would have.

And if that was your angle, um, why would you approach me, not them? Oh, that’s right. They deleted THEIRS cause of this.

DOH.

Stop it.

Just stop. 

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How about…

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How about…

I notice literally everyone in my world is having relationship issues, so I offer this. It’s, of course, through my lens but its a nice start because I am sure everyone who reads this is guilty of at least one:

Soooo how about:

  1. Not doing shit to begin with that you need to apologize for.
  2. Sincerely understanding how your actions affect and effect others and simply apologizing instead of glazing over things with gifts or silence.
  3. Shutting up and listening for a minute before you interrupt and argue.
  4. Realizing that just because someone is defensive doesn’t mean you didn’t cause it.
  5. Realizing that other people evolve and grow and change their views, it doesn’t mean that they have no conviction.
  6. Appreciating the differences in someone that you liked when you met them instead of being irritated with them.
  7. Looking up the definition of projection, transference, denial, oh f**k it, here: just read about defense mechanisms.
  8. Not being an asshole for a minute.
  9. Not making everything a fight.
  10. Being fully aware of the fact that people love you despite how you treat them but it’s getting old.
  11. Seeing the irony that you hate how you perceive people to treat others, but then you treat them the same way.
  12. Not being passive aggressive when you aren’t being antagonistic.
  13. Understanding that others give you as much space as you need to cool off, center, figure out what the hell is going on in YOUR head. Maybe you should extend the courtesy back.
  14. Consciously perceive that people are walking on eggshells because of how you react.
  15. Just shut the f**k up, period.

GAAAWWWDDDDDDDDDD