Tag Archives: motherhood

Hallelujah

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Hallelujah

It’s strange:

How I find myself here

Cutting my mother’s hair.

When I swore we’d never speak

Never give myself the chance

to destroy her…

Like I know I could.

Curiously ironic…

Such a moment of grace

And a realization-

“I forgive her”

And for once,

It’s not about her.

Mother, Mother

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Mother, Mother

Maybe not meaningful to you but meaningful to me is the fact that this song came out the year I became a mother…albeit a pre-birth mother, but a mother aware of the child inside her all the same…

I identified with this song so much.

Somedays, I still do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the men and women mothers or mother role holders, even the ones that weren’t close to perfect.

Ancient Mother

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I have many mothers. And each has been instrumental in my development as a person and a mother myself. So I say, to all the women (and men) who have stepped up and taken the initiative to assume the role and actually BE mothers to all the children, of all ages that needed one or wanted one, or both: THANK YOU and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

Ode to motherhood:

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Ode to motherhood:

I am the fading echo of my mother’s torment,

the strength she could not find.

Wandering lost for many lives,

trapped by the paths of my mind.

Solace found in the water, fed.

The light has found my dreams.

A heavy haze lifted and showed my own eyes

in them, looking back reflecting.

Her torment passed on; now teaching me.

I took the needle from the groove

and summoned the bridge planks to meet my feet.

Now I am running,

screaming FREE,

for them

and yet

still, for me.

Creepers!

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Creepers!

Given the populations I have worked with and my own issues, one could say I am a hyperaware parent. I wouldn’t say I am a helicopter parent, but I am slightly untrusting of the general public and probably have inflicted this upon my children a little too much.

However; I have always worked to make sure that they are critical thinkers who listen to their guts and stay aware of their surroundings. I think it is a good skill set which balances with the hyperarousal I may have passed on 🙂

The Girl Child initiated a conversation with me around Christmas about how it is kind of a mixed message that from birth we tell our children not to talk to strangers, take candy from strangers, etc. but then encourage them to sit on Santa’s lap, take candy from him, tell him secrets and expect him to break into our house and give us gifts. All classic grooming techniques.

I immediately thought of Jon Benet Ramsey, who was murdered around Christmas and was told by “Santa”  he would bring her a special gift after Christmas. No one has ever proved Santa did it, but that’s where my money has always been….Don’t worry, I didn’t share that thought pattern with her.

Just this morning, we watched a commercial that had M & M’s dressed as the Easter Bunny, sneaking through someone’s house and leaving candy for children. The Girl Child said, “See? Another creepy thing that we tell kids its ok to let in the house and as long as they bring them candy.”

The next commercial was one of those Febreeze commercials wherein they take people into scary looking places blindfolded and ask them to describe what they smell….

We looked at each other, reading each other’s minds.

These people let strangers with cameras lead them into scary places because they are told what? Who cares. It doesn’t matter what they told them. They have been told their whole lives strangers with cameras, ahem, candy won’t hurt them. Or will they?

We live in a weird damn world of conflicting mores and social rules.

I am surprised there hasn’t been a string of Santa, Halloween, Easter Bunny, Febreeze hostel serial killer situations in the media.

We want to think that the people we need to worry about all look like the people in this video:

But they don’t.

Have we outgrown the safety of our own traditions? Anne Frank said “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.”

Do you agree?

Do we need to change the mythology we pass onto our children?

“The world has changed. I see it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.” ~ Galadriel