Tag Archives: media

Peaks and valleys or Axis II? just kidding, DSM 5 uses no axes.

Standard
Peaks and valleys or Axis II? just kidding, DSM 5 uses no axes.

As always, in this non-stop over-analytical brain of mine, I have been pondering a lot of things as of late; mainly the fact that over and over again I am told that I am a narcissist due to my verbal observations that I am the common denominator in all of my failures, from relationships to interoffice communications. I have been reflecting on this a lot, as I was studying for my clinical board exam. (I do not fit the criteria, in case you were wondering).

However I do find that I tend to be a pessimist, I feel paranoid often, and I make trust issues themselves suspicious. It’s a thing. I know it. I have done lots of therapy over the years.

As a teenager, I used to tell people I was bipolar, as if it were a cool thing…something to be proud of that explained how much of a special, creative, and emotional snowflake I was… Not knowing how fucked up that was. Ignorance is bliss right? But I do know that I have occasionally fit the criteria for a variety of personality disorders, namely dependent and/or borderline personality disorder, but they wax and waned over the years to the point that while I may feel it sometimes it is no longer acutely “diagnosable”(sp). I know that is the least professional way to put it but I am not sure how else to word it. Go with me, please.

Many times, I have found that I am jealous of people that are bubbly, happy, ridiculously positive. I have even caught myself assuming that they are less intelligent than I. I mean come on, how can you know what is happening in the world and still be that FUCKING happy? But the world is always fucked up. I have nothing to show that it will ever be anything else. We just have more knowledge of it these days, right? So what is the secret? Mindfulness? Ignorance? “staying present”? How do you get there? I believe that thoughts are things and that aside from being a commercial success, things like “The Secret” have something to them, albeit financially fleecing as they are. That does not mean they are not correct, real, or accurate. If the people getting rich and being successful from sharing this info are doing it, then huzzah, it works? Who knows. But how do you maintain it? How do you stay positive, happy, etc in the life we are given?

It seems to me that there is a common theme throughout all written history of humans, we suck, we are unhappy, and yet, we persist. We run the spectrum, from being capable of the worst things imaginable, to being capable of the most awe inspiring things. I always think of the movie, The Abyss and the part at the end where the distraught aliens decide NOT to annihilate us because of this observation. There is always the question of why, for what, how come, what is the meaning, what is happy, how do you find it, etc etc etc.. I have no illusions of being a special or creative snowflake for thinking about this. I am no narcissist in this regard. But really, how do people do it?

What is THE SECRET?

How do you feel satisfaction and fulfillment in a sustainable way? How do you maintain relationships? Jobs? Sanity?

How do you become a Katie fucking Couric? So maddeningly fucking positive that you can find a direction and impetus in tragedy?

How do you stay in the moment, when everything is distracting you with shiny lights or terrifying depths?

You know, asking for a friend.

 

2012 in review

Standard

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 11 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

In case you didn’t know:

Standard

And the first official zombie.

Happy Ham eating, you infidels! 😀

xoxo

Jani

*Thanks to Mr. Gonzales for the pic.

Soapbox…

Standard

My husband told me to stay off of my soapbox but I would just like to point out an observation, in the 2012 SI Swimsuit edition, there is less than ten photos of black women. There are more men in the edition than black women.

So I did some Googling (no pun intended) and there have been (identified) 0 Asians, 1 Hispanic, 1 Spanish/Lebanese, and 2 African American women on the cover: Beyonce and Tyra Banks. Since 1964. Wow.

Most of the women have been German, Swedish, Czech or American.

Husband said “How many MEN have been on the cover?…My soapbox is bigger. It’s reverse sexism.”

I am not sure what it means. Perhaps other ethnicities are just smarter than letting themselves be objectified. Perhaps the magazine is radically ethnocentric. Maybe everything about America is ran by white racist men, including SI. Maybe the magazine editor is scared of diversity. Well, Terry McDonnell? Which is it?

Just an interesting observation. That is all.

As some have already questioned my sampling methods, let me remind you before you hunt me down or jump my case: I am getting my info for the covers from google, SI, wiki, their bios. The internet. The ones inside the magazine I am merely guessing because of their skin tone. Don’t jump my shit for assuming someone’s race or ethnicity by skin tone. Its the same assumption I assume (haha) the main demographic of the magazine will make. Just an observation. Not quantifying research.

And yes, I do know the difference between race and ethnicity, before anyone else mentions it.