Tag Archives: hoarders

Cleaning out my closet….

Cleaning out my closet….

The last two days, my house has been trashed.

Papers are strewn about, there are open boxes on tables, counters, floors, files open and stacked, from room to room. It seriously looks like a crazy manic event has gone on here. Maybe it has, I don’t know. I digress.

It started out at a vain attempt to find my seventh grade school picture to compare to the girlchild’s, but it became a self-imposed therapeutic event. As I have been going through boxes of my life, looking at pictures, questioning why I have kept the wrapper for a package of garbage pail kids for 25+ years; I have been processing. Letting go. Thinking about people I haven’t thought about, wondering why I kept things they gave me, notes they wrote. I even wrote a poem about it.

Dealing with things left undealt with in a millenia. It’s like the end of my own episode of ‘Hoarders’.…keep, sell, trash….keep, sell, trash...Only mine is keep, share or trash….It’s been cathartic to say the least.

Now my house is still beyond trashed and I am sure that my half unpacked and sorted boxes are pretty physically representative of my brain these days. BUT I have also began to delete, resort and annihilate my narcissistic self-representation I call my Facebook, so it’s been multitaskinspirationalistic. And really, if you know me, I function soooo much better with 8923470387304750345 things to do. Don’t let me get bored. I will think of a reason to save a wrapper.

Throwing things away feels good.

Sharing forgotten and remembered memories for that matter feels good.

It’s been a long time coming, this unpacking of Jani.

You should try it; throw something away from your childhood.

Look at it. Hold it. Share it. Remember and then toss it.

Why do you keep what you keep?

They’re only things, after all.

I dealt with things better once upon a time and I am trying to relearn that now.

Wanderlust, the genes are strong…..

Wanderlust, the genes are strong…..

Over the years I have simultaneously hated and loved moving. As a child, I hated having to lose hard won friends and MY collected items; they were mine! Why should I have to leave them?

As a teenager, I felt empowered in my lack of belongings. Me, my guitar and a backpack of clothes were all I really cared throughout my world. I eventually got some stuff, but found it very easy and cathartic even to get rid of it all and start over. I did this more often than probably seems healthy, even into my young adulthood. But once my kids were old enough to feel as though things were their possessions and express sorrow over letting go of somethings, I began to associate so much of my childhood with the childhood I was creating for them. And then I started keeping things.

Now mind you, I know I joke about being one pile of crap falling over away from being on “hoarders”, but really I am not that bad. I am on the eclectic end of cluttered but I definitely have too much stuff. I try to have a yard sale and get rid of things when I move, but I don’t move very often anymore so it accumulates…and then I panic. It’s the oddest thing.

I find comfort in my stuff and yet, having things makes me panic. I have not quite really figured out the pathology of it. But I know that as soon as things in my world, material and immaterial start piling up my first instinct is to cut and run. I want to move. I want to declutter. I want to start over. I’m bored. I’m safe. It is fucking terrifying.

Over the last few years, I have found that I can stifle the feeling by rearranging furniture. Painting a room something crazy. redecorating. retheming. But it only works for so long. Most landlords don’t enjoy my molesting their properties with paint and featherdusters and anything else I can slather obnoxious colors on the walls with. Then it happens…. I start to get the wanderlust. My feet start to get that familiar itch…I start to fantasize. I start planning my escape.

Does anyone else cope this way? Suffer this way? I can’t be the only one…..

I am rearranging my house right now. 3 rooms at time. Oy. It’s a hot mess up in here….How long will this change placate me?

Coat rack, Coat schrack.

Coat rack, Coat schrack.

Yesterday, I became obsessed with the idea that I need a coat rack. We have only recently gotten a couch and it appears that everyone has begun to use it as a coat rack. I can’t handle it! I admit, I am a cluttery person…my house is clean but there is always one or two spots, usually the extra? counter in the kitchen and/or my desk that are just pretty much covered in crap. Oh, and the bookcases….

Ok, screw it, I am like 3 avalanches away from being featured on the show “Hoarders.” I admit it. Let’s focus on the issue at hand. Gees…

I digress.

Point being, our closets contain most of our jackets; but one of us, (I wont name any names, ahemhusbandcoughcough) has about 938,273,028,457,034 jackets, coats, hoodies, hats, etc. Also, we have a really lame and needy dog that can’t handle when we leave. He will pull coats from where ever to sleep on and sniff to remember that we are coming back or some weird shite. Ergo, the one I had on the back of the door was continually getting broke as he pulled things off, not to mention the fact that the sleeves of our jackets were getting stretched. So, I decided to get a real coat rack. I hit up a few thrift and vintage stores, even a local trade shop that has a lot of really cool wooden things. Could NOT find a coat rack for less than 145 dollars. What? Hell no.

I came home and googled. That is what I do. I found lots of cool ideas, but none that looked really janified. So I took about four ideas and mixed them all together. Hence the janified coat rack: (pvc pipes, magical display vase I flirted the guy out of at World Market, spray paint and cement.)

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It cost me a grand total of 32 dollars. BOOM.

That is the sound it will make if the damn dog pulls it over on his dumb self.(Concrete, hello)

*And I accidentally made my drop cloth into a cool backdrop. Woot, woot.