Tag Archives: food

Haiku, Pyewacket.

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Haiku, Pyewacket.

Pomegranate stains

Red jewel antioxidant

I am Lady Macbeth

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Oh Valentine’s, thank you for the excuse to eat Carbs!

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Oh Valentine’s, thank you for the excuse to eat Carbs!

I have a reoccurring thought while inventing recipes….I often find myself daydreaming about doing naughty things, like icing cupcakes with vegemite instead of chocolate frosting and giving them to people I am not fond of…Does anyone else do that? hmmmm

Anywhoo….Girlchild and I wanted to make something yesterday to use some beautiful berries we got. I had originally planned to make a flourless chocolate cake and some creme fraiche to go with the berries. This plan was quickly changed when the Girlchild reaffirmed her NEED for nilla wafers….So we developed this…

CoffeeBeanBerryWafer Cake:

First, to make the creme fraiche you must start the day before and mix 1 cup heavy whipping cream with 2 tbsps of buttermilk. Put on your counter in a sealed jar and leave it there for atleast 12 hours, shaking occasionally. Don’t worry about leaving dairy out. That’s the point. You need the bacteria to freak out. The next day, put it in the fridge to chill.

For the crust, use 3/4 of an 11 oz box of Nilla Wafers, 1/2 cup of melted butter and 1/4 cup white sugar. Pulse in a food processor or smash in a ziploc. press into a springform pan (or whatever you have).

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Take your fresh creme fraiche, add 2 tsp vanilla, 1/4 cup of white sugar and beat until slightly frothy…sprinkle one package of knox gelatin over it and IMMEDIATELY beat again, this time on high.

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Spread over the crust:

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Place berries on the filling and place in the fridge until you are done with the ganache.

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To make the ganache: break 2 ounces of über dark chocolate into a bowl. Add one single serving package of starbucks via blonde coffee powder (or whatever powdered espresso you have.)

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Bring 2 ounces of whipping cream to almost a boil…careful not to scorch it.

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Pour over the chocolate and coffee, let sit a couple minutes and whip smooth.

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Spoon a drizzle over the berries and enjoy.

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YUM.

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@BitchinKitchen Supperclub Slutty Spaghetti

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@BitchinKitchen Supperclub Slutty Spaghetti

I figured it had been a while since I had done a cooking post so I figured with everyone’s concern being elsewhere *ahem, Ravens winning the Superbowl, ahem* it was a good time. Plus, I felt like going outside my comfort zone and eating something I hadn’t eaten since I was 14….ANCHOVIES!

In case you didn’t know this about me, I hate fish…unless its raw and/or tuna. Go figure. So this was a reaaaaaaalllll stretch for me.

I love Nadia G. She is my future 3rd ex-wife. No worries, we stay friends. This is her recipe. I changed a couple things by adding a whole diced shallot, less olives, leaving the tomatoes whole while cooking and using wheat spaghetti ..OH! I also added everything before the tomatoes plus threw on some grated parmesan reggiano….other than that I did exactly as I was instructed 🙂

It’s delicious. And the name? “Spaghetti a la Puttanesca” literally translates as spaghetti as cooked by a whore. YESSSSSS! I love it.  There is a whole back story to this traditional dish, but I will make you find her telling it. It is described in two different episodes. Google is your friend, my friend.

Here is the recipe as described by her here:

INGREDIENTS

  • pound spaghetti
  • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • Pinch hot chile flakes
  • clove garlic, minced
  • anchovy fillets, roughly mashed with a fork
  • cups ripe cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 15 kalamata olives, pitted and coarsely chopped
  • heaping tablespoon capers, coarsely chopped
  • Large pinch brown sugar
  • Pinch sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Cook spaghetti in boiling salted water until it is slightly undercooked, about 1 minute away from being al dente, strain. Heat the olive oil in a large pan on medium heat. Add chile flakes and garlic, saute for 2 minutes, until garlic is fragrant and golden. Add the mashed anchovies and saute for 30 seconds. Then add the cherry tomatoes and saute for an additional 8 to 10 minutes, until the tomatoes begin to create a light sauce. Once the tomatoes have sauced up, mix the olives, capers, brown sugar, sea salt, and freshly ground black pepper into the sauce. Add the cooked spaghetti to the pan, reduce the heat to medium-low and use tongs to stir until the pasta absorbs the sauce, about 3 minutes.

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You’re welcome. 😉

All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi….

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All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi….

Not really.

I said that as I typed it and started wondering if that makes me the most interesting woman in the world…..ADD

I digress.

What I really, really craved today (the hardest day thus far on my Dukan journey despite the 16 pound pay off I already have received) was the white wine I was using to cook. It was sooooo difficult to put it back in the fridge and not take a sip. I’ve never actually craved alcohol. I mean, I’ve wanted a drink before for sure. But never craved. LOL

I think it is more of a matter of knowing that I can’t and having the will power to not convince myself to slip once….You know the diet rationalizations, “If no one saw me, I didn’t eat it”…”Just one and it will quell the craving”….”I’ll just taste it and spit it out.”

And then you find yourself binging on everything you can think to put frosting and peanut butter on, sitting in the middle of your kitchen floor, rocking, sobbing, and chewing….

No?

Never?

Ahem.

Uh, me neither.

I was just, you know, using hyperbole.

In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper…..

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In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper…..

Today was the first day I got to enjoy the delicious divinity of vegetables in ten days. Oh my. It was quite simply heaven. (finally in the “cruise” phase of the Dukan diet…)

I probably overate.

But you know what? It was all squash so I don’t care.

Yum.

Delightfully non-meat morningstar crumbles.

Sweet purple carrots.

Tender butter lettuce.

Crunchy sweet peppers.

My cherry tomatoes were the bomb too.

Tantalizing marinara with all its basily garlicky goodness….complete with mushrooms and nutritional yeast fake parm….OY

I’m salivating just thinking about it.

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Guilt is a worthless emotion.

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Guilt is a worthless emotion.

I don’t know if you all have been paying attention, but if so, you will know that I have lost 11 pounds in as many days on the Dukan Diet. Yay me.

That being said, it is starting to affect my subconscious.

I dreamed last night the most luscious of dreams.

I was cheating on the husband. My lover (and oh man was he) took me to dinner in New Orleans and I ate shrimp, a proper food for my Dukan Diet.

But dessert……oh, that was pure decadence.

Bananas Foster.

It was DIVINE>

And as I took the last bite, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I felt guilty and began bawling like a wee lass who lost her puppy.

I felt no remorse cheating on my husband. But on my diet? That was more than I could handle.

I think there must be something to the fact that I chose a dessert I have never had and also the fact that it is one that is on fire…..

Oy vei.

Corn and Margherita Pizza, WHAAAAAAT?

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Corn and Margherita Pizza, WHAAAAAAT?

I occassionally have cravings. And these last couple days I been craving corn and homemade pizza…..so I made margherita pizza and grilled some corn, simple wrapped in foil and doused in Old Bay seasoning.

The pizza is so pretty!

  1. I cheated and bought a store crust, I like the Rustic brand;
  2. I brushed it with white truffle oil;
  3. Threw on some spicy marinara;
  4. Some freshly squeezed and sliced mozzarella straight out of their watery home;
  5. Lovingly placed some sundried tomato halves on top;
  6. Chiffonaded some fresh basil with my magic scissors (ok so its not really chiffonaded);
  7. Microplaned some delicious parmigiana;
  8. Then put that bad boy in the oven at 425, for about 14 minutes.

Gorgeous.

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Be jealous bitches.

Broccolini, Broccolini, night and day it’s Broccolini….

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Broccolini, Broccolini, night and day it’s Broccolini….

I’ve become slightly obsessed with broccolini, to the point my kids are sick of it. Oh well, apparently my heart chakra is in need of some greens, ok? I had been trying to incorporate them into my diet more and more (greens that is) and had run out of new things to try in my neck of the woods. That is, until the farmer’s market opened back up.

Broccolini is a magical hybrid of broccoli and kai-lan, of the cabbage family. It is sometimes sold as Chinese Kale. It should be bright green with yellow flowers and florets.

It is touted to have massive inhibitory effects on human cancer cells and is all around just good for you. So I have a simple recipe for you brave souls who would like to try it and those of you who are familiar, perhaps a new way to eat it!

Broccolini Mussolini

The first thing I do is to heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in my lovely cast iron pan, then add 3-4 minced cloves of garlic, stir until soft and fragrant. Then add a couple of spoons of pesto, some chopped sun-dried tomatoes and a few capers with some sea salt. Gently fold in your rinsed broccolini and cook until wilted.

Meanwhile, I have a pound of penne cooking in salted water….drain of course after cooked….then…

Toss the two together!

Shave some parmigiana over the top and eat. It’s magical. And much lower in bad fat than creamed sauces…

The part of the recipe where I sing, “Broccolini, Broccolini…” to the tune of “Cinderelli, Cinderelli…night and day it’s Cinderelli…” is totally optional.

I missed Tuesday-boozeday, but here’s to HUMP DAY!

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I missed Tuesday-boozeday, but here’s to HUMP DAY!

I have this thing about me, when it comes to alcohol I am pretty simple. I do not like girly frou frou drinks or anything sweet. Typically, I am good with shots. Preferably, whiskey. Tequila, if I am feeling froggy and wanna make an arrogant man feel emasculated by my tequila drinking skills versus his….But that is my own personality flaw…And another reason I am pretty sure this is my first life as a female….I admit it, I often have penis envy…or atleast I am envious of the doors that penises? peni? can open…

I digress.

Point being….When it comes to mixed drinks, rum and coke is as fruity as I get. And don’t put a freaking lime on it, I didn’t order a cuba libre. GAWD

Another thing about my drinking habits, should I say I have a drinking habit? Hmm…My drinking preferences?

Beer makes me sleepy. But if I have to drink it, I better not be able to see through it.

Wine must be red.

And I typically find something I drink for a while and nothing else, until I switch.

Lately, because I was trying to get a drink that wouldn’t make me feel tooo terrible about the empty calories the Cellar Bar at the Ringler’s Annex, one of McMenamin’s magical places, introduced me to this drink. BUT i Janified it 🙂

It breaks all my rules.

It’s sweet.

It’s fruity.

It has a freaking cherry.

It has soda in it.

It has ice.

It comes in a glass that is bigger than this:

Regardless, here is my recipe:

Buvez et obtenez un bon bu!

Janified Amaretto Sour:

First get an array of delicious citrus:

I like to use 2 oranges, 2 tangerines, 4 lemons and 2 limes.

Either use a simple juicer or get all hard core like me and peel your citrus:

Then throw them in your magical centrifugal juicer:

Then you end up with this kind of deliciousness that will separate, make sure you give a good stir before you pour:

Then you wanna give a spoonful of maraschino cherry juice over your ice:

Then fill your glass 1/3 full with Amaretto of your choosing:

Then 1/3 more with your fresh delicious nutritious guilt free citrus juice:

Then top off slowly with some 7up or whatever lemon-lime soda ya got. (this mixture produces a fantastic foam like a root beer float….”It is so good” like Martha Stewart freaking good.)

Top off with a few cherries.

*The more you drink the more cherries you will want. They become a sport to spear in the bottom of your glass 😉

Stir slowly before drinking.

Enjoy!

xoxo

Bacon Leek Tomato Soupage Cha! BLT soup!

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Bacon Leek Tomato Soupage Cha! BLT soup!

Here is the way to make one of my most favoritest tasty creations:

BLT Soup Recipe

Rough chop 6 slices of bacon, render until cooked but NOT too crispy.

Chop 1 whole celery bunch, excluding the last 3-4 inches but including the little baby leaves in the center…

Slice 2 leeks and mince about 3 cloves of garlic, add to bacon and saute about 10 minutes.

Don’t my leeks look like lips? lol

Meanwhile:

Dice 3 large creamy taters, I like yukon golds….

We will say these represent our potato bread in our BLT.

 

Pour enough chicken or mushroom broth combined with a little water to cover them in a stockpot. Boil.

Add the leek mixture and salt, pepper, thyme, celery seed and a couple bay leaves. Bring back to boil.

In a bowl, mix 1/2 cup flour with a  cup of milk. Slowly pour into stockpot while stirring. Turn down, cover and let simmer.

Simply slice in half a variety of small cherry, grape and pear tomatoes. About 2 pints. I like the heirlooms because they taste good.

I hated tomatoes my whole life until I came to hippyland and tasted organic heirloom tomatoes. They are different and BEAUTIFUL! I can’t help but take pictures! Look at these! They look like pomegranates!

Add to your soup.

Cook another 5-10 minutes on low and stir gently, so you don’t destroy your beautiful little tomatoes.

Enjoy.