Tag Archives: exes

Mercury Retrograde BE DAMNED I feel amazing.

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Mercury Retrograde BE DAMNED I feel amazing.

I have had quite the empowering and cathartic last couple of weeks chock full of epiphanies and cosmic 2x4s.

One, I shall not write into narrative for you voyeuristic vampires whom I love. It involves self growth and reflecting on past relationships.

But when it dawned on me, it went something like this:

Then, I read this on my FaceCrack wall:

A Wild Woman doesn’t want to be your Girly friend

Can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I’m bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me under the starry sky, shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I call down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt to harden over all the pomegranate seeds we’ve planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and call them to the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid to step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one… she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild one if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky.

If you want to be safe, go back to your tiny room — the night sky is not for you.

If you want to be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.

I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep out the cold.

I will leave you naked and biting. Leave you clawing at the sheets. Leave you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that only bloom when no one is watching.

So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.

There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use to make you great.

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.

She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.

She will see to it that you shall rise again.

She is the lover who restores you to your own wild nature.

(c) Alison Nappi 2015

The I saw this and wanted to go run. Dafuq, right?

This is all on top of a windfall at work, in my bank account, with my kids, with my love, with my friends, EVERYTHING. On top of the world and it is strange.

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“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.” ~ Alice

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“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.” ~ Alice

I feel like I should have so much to write about the last week seeing as it has been my spring break, but I really have been struggling. I went to Wicked and it was magic. I saw The Hunger Games and it was pretty badass. I had a nearly 4 hour conversation with my baby daddy and it was civil and comfortable and nice even. The girl child left on a plane for her spring break, all alone (she is so brave…) and the boy child went on a 3 generational road trip with only men to meet a 4th generation. I got a new neighbor whom I anticipate being fraking fantastic. I found a new shortcut from my house to the redbox and my favorite grocery-like store. I read three books. All my textbooks came before my quarter starts tomorrow. I’ve had the house all to myself, all weekend. I slept till 10 this morning. I braved the panic-inducing store with the happy face logo to buy crap tons of soil and moss (irony right?) so I can plant my new herbs and replant my houseplants. I got to watch everything I wanted to watch last night without anyone complaining.

But truly, the most compelling thing I want to tell you voyeuristic pawns of my narcissistic needs is this:

I had an avocado for breakfast and seriously spent 5 minutes trying to figure out where the seed from the OTHER side went. yes. Are you freaking kidding me? I fished the garbage disposal. I looked in the trash. I was seriously confused because I could only find one pit from my ONE avocado. It was then I realized I needed coffee. Stat. I wish this was an April Fools joke. Sadly, it is not.

Avocado: 1

Jani’s brain cells: 0

Trading kiddos for Christmas

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is never a fun task but all went well today, safe and sound are we.

Much less dramatic now that the children are older. My kids too. 😛

And luckily, I LOVE his wife. She makes my world much brighter.

I digress.

I appreciate that I don’t have to do “the drive” twice a month anymore (an hour each way) BUUUUTTTT driving 4 hours each way now 8 times a year is LAME.

I shall write something worthwhile tomorrow….right now I are EX-hausted.

Merry “whatever you choose to read in this spot”!