I haven’t really had the chance to do much as far as blogging lately, I have lots of excuses; the job, the partner, the kids, the promotion ;), the gym, the tv, the birthday, whatever; I could go on and on…But I shall not digress.
I got news recently someone that I loved had passed away. It is oddly still affecting me but I am not sure of the effect yet. I am still processing. Mostly it is feeling like a morbid curiosity that I can’t resolve because I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle. I am not sure how I should feel which further confuses the fact that I am not aware of what I am feeling other than the physical effects. I have been hyper-focused on the unknown details which truly are irrelevant. But the relevant details of my own life feel almost peripheral. Mostly it is physiological. I locked my keys in my car yesterday, I asked my boss a question and immediately forgot his answer resulting in me having to ask again (a midst his laughter of my spaciness.)
It took me a couple days to realize what was going on with me.
It’s strange to grieve something, someone whom you don’t feel like you should grieve about.
It’s odd how one’s mind processes things.
But it is Spring now, Ostara. Ēostre. So I am going to take this time to bury any negativity that might be residual, as they are buried. It is time for new starts and the closing of a chapter to make way for a new one. Like picking up a book you stopped reading and coming back to finish it, so you can fully commit to starting a new one.
When I was growing up, one town that I lived in frequently seemed to have an alley behind every street within its old city limits. We usually didn’t have much money and so when holidays came around like Memorial Day, Mother’s Day and Easter, instead of buying my family flowers (for them or their gravestones), my mother would drive down alleys letting me spot and cut beautiful escapee flowers.
It was really one of my favorite things to do. Lilacs are my grandma J’s favorite and so when those were still in season (depending on when Easter landed) we would scout those out first. I remember the joy and the feeling of responsibility I would get from riding with the door slightly ajar, no seat belt, while my mom would drive slowly down the alleys letting me jump out with scissors to run and steal flowers.
As a parent myself, I cringe at the memory…But as my inner child, I still remember the sneaky happiness. I am quite certain no one would have complained had they seen us cutting their alley irises or tulips, but it sure felt naughty which was part of the fun. There a few times they may have complained upon seeing me squeezing through gaps to reach beautiful flowers IN their yards but…..
As an adult, and I use the term relatively, my bestest friend Pippi and I did the same thing. I even continued the tradition with my own children when I lived in that same town again. However I usually parked and walked or would follow the kids down the alley. (Traditions evolve you know.)
We haven’t found any alleys where we are now. Not for lack of trying either. Every year I see the flowers growing in spring and I mourn for my alley escapades.
I’ve seen some pretty gorgeous daffodils on a couple of shoulders and exits near my house though….they might just be fair game.
Happy whatever you do today!
And the first official zombie.
Happy Ham eating, you infidels! 😀
*Thanks to Mr. Gonzales for the pic.
WAHOOOOOO! It’s the first day of SPRING!
Now mind you, one would not know that by looking out my windows, as here in the magically and infamously warm and balmy Pacific Northwest, it is snowing. Sigh.
However, the Pagan celebration of the spring equinox, known by many names (Ostara, Eostre, etc.) is not unlike numerous other festivals, holidays and “holy days,” that the religion in power has changed to suit its purposes. One does not have to try hard to see the similarities between Ostara, Eostre and Easter. Both have to eggs (fertility), rabbits (known of course for their “fecundity” and affinity for chocolate?…hahah) and grass, beginnings and rebirth attached. But this is not to be a commentary on the bastardization of cyclic events! No sir! I shall NOT digress!
Today, I want only to remind you that today is the beginning of the REAL new year. The light and the darkness are balanced today. From here until the winter solstice, the light shall be dominant. Let it be the same in your mind, heart and body. Start this season with intention, decide how you want your life to be and begin it today, anew. Release the darkness of the winter and make strides to shrug off the heaviness, in whatever form it may have actualized on you.
Go for a walk. Meditate. Say what you need to say, to whomever you need to say it to. Smell a flower. Perform a fertility ritual. Have some sex. Smudge your house. Spring cleaning isn’t just about dusting the places you can’t easily reach….or is it? 😀
Perform whatever cleansing ritual you desire, be it cleaning your house, saying a prayer or simply opening your windows. Plant a seed, mentally or physically.
Love and Light,