I said that as I typed it and started wondering if that makes me the most interesting woman in the world…..ADD
What I really, really craved today (the hardest day thus far on my Dukan journey despite the 16 pound pay off I already have received) was the white wine I was using to cook. It was sooooo difficult to put it back in the fridge and not take a sip. I’ve never actually craved alcohol. I mean, I’ve wanted a drink before for sure. But never craved. LOL
I think it is more of a matter of knowing that I can’t and having the will power to not convince myself to slip once….You know the diet rationalizations, “If no one saw me, I didn’t eat it”…”Just one and it will quell the craving”….”I’ll just taste it and spit it out.”
And then you find yourself binging on everything you can think to put frosting and peanut butter on, sitting in the middle of your kitchen floor, rocking, sobbing, and chewing….
Uh, me neither.
I was just, you know, using hyperbole.
Today was the first day I got to enjoy the delicious divinity of vegetables in ten days. Oh my. It was quite simply heaven. (finally in the “cruise” phase of the Dukan diet…)
I probably overate.
But you know what? It was all squash so I don’t care.
Delightfully non-meat morningstar crumbles.
Sweet purple carrots.
Tender butter lettuce.
Crunchy sweet peppers.
My cherry tomatoes were the bomb too.
Tantalizing marinara with all its basily garlicky goodness….complete with mushrooms and nutritional yeast fake parm….OY
I’m salivating just thinking about it.
I don’t know if you all have been paying attention, but if so, you will know that I have lost 11 pounds in as many days on the Dukan Diet. Yay me.
That being said, it is starting to affect my subconscious.
I dreamed last night the most luscious of dreams.
I was cheating on the husband. My lover (and oh man was he) took me to dinner in New Orleans and I ate shrimp, a proper food for my Dukan Diet.
But dessert……oh, that was pure decadence.
It was DIVINE>
And as I took the last bite, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I felt guilty and began bawling like a wee lass who lost her puppy.
I felt no remorse cheating on my husband. But on my diet? That was more than I could handle.
I think there must be something to the fact that I chose a dessert I have never had and also the fact that it is one that is on fire…..
I started the Dukan Diet. Yes, yes I know. But something has got to give. So save your lectures and anti-carb-free diet stories. Anyhow, as I am reading the book looking for all sorts of magical insights and inspirational thoughts, I read this passage that made me think about other things….
“Losing weight is the same as feeding yourself with fat and cholesterol. ……with each weight loss, your body makes you consume your fat reserves, so when you lose 20 pounds, it is almost as if you had eaten that amount of fat or butter….a large quantity of cholesterol and triglycerides circulates in your blood.” ~Dr. Pierre Dukan
So I immediately think about Rachel Carson, environmental toxins, and fat soluble toxins. This beginning part could be yucky feeling., as this crap is processed out of my body BUT at least I can attest that I have lived more often than not in places that aren’t toxic dump sites so hopefully I have less than most. I also eat mostly fresh and healthy foods, organic when I can afford it and until I started this stupid diet rarely any meat and NEVER any dairy (ok, I have a cheese weakness occasionally) But as someone with an already depressed thyroid function, I anticipate my thyroid needs may go up as this journey progresses. Oy.
Don’t worry, I am drinking plenty of dandelion and detox tea to help this along as well as my numerous supplements ranging from yellow dock to salmon oil. Really what I am going to miss is my lovely alcohol. Sigh
And fruit. I will see you in January.
I have decided the best way to avoid being inundated with toxins released by your body’s melting blubber reserves is to never get unhealthily fat. DOH