Tag Archives: duh

Aesopisms

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Aesopisms

When a beautiful and sweet lion bites you, you shouldn’t be upset with it.

Even though you always treated him with kindness.

Even when you spent so long defending his animal habits.

Especially when you let your own guard down.

No, he hadn’t ever bitten you.

But I mean, he is a lion.

And you always knew that.

He never said he wasn’t.

Tsk, tsk.

You cannot fault a lion for being a lion.

The fault lies with whomever forgot he wasn’t a kitty cat.

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.” ~ Alice

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“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.” ~ Alice

I feel like I should have so much to write about the last week seeing as it has been my spring break, but I really have been struggling. I went to Wicked and it was magic. I saw The Hunger Games and it was pretty badass. I had a nearly 4 hour conversation with my baby daddy and it was civil and comfortable and nice even. The girl child left on a plane for her spring break, all alone (she is so brave…) and the boy child went on a 3 generational road trip with only men to meet a 4th generation. I got a new neighbor whom I anticipate being fraking fantastic. I found a new shortcut from my house to the redbox and my favorite grocery-like store. I read three books. All my textbooks came before my quarter starts tomorrow. I’ve had the house all to myself, all weekend. I slept till 10 this morning. I braved the panic-inducing store with the happy face logo to buy crap tons of soil and moss (irony right?) so I can plant my new herbs and replant my houseplants. I got to watch everything I wanted to watch last night without anyone complaining.

But truly, the most compelling thing I want to tell you voyeuristic pawns of my narcissistic needs is this:

I had an avocado for breakfast and seriously spent 5 minutes trying to figure out where the seed from the OTHER side went. yes. Are you freaking kidding me? I fished the garbage disposal. I looked in the trash. I was seriously confused because I could only find one pit from my ONE avocado. It was then I realized I needed coffee. Stat. I wish this was an April Fools joke. Sadly, it is not.

Avocado: 1

Jani’s brain cells: 0

In the next 10 years, I want to:

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In the next 10 years, I want to:

Do lots of things. Duh.

But specifically, the things I want to do and the places I want to go are as follows….Anyone wanna come with?

  1. Put a down payment on my land and buy atleast 5 of these tumbleweed houses to put in a circle.
  2. Build a labyrinth:                                                                                              
  3. Start my garden.                                                                                      
  4. Buy a couple of these:                                                                              
  5. And these:                                                                                                       
  6. And these:                                                                                                          
  7. And some of those:                                                                                          
  8. And these:                                                                                                          
  9. these:                                                                                                      
  10. these:                                                                                                      
  11. Oh yeah these:                                                                                        
  12. and those:                                                                                                            
  13. Start paying on these and get the rest forgiven magically:                            
  14. Swim here:                                                                                                    
  15. And here:                                                                                                              
  16. And here:                                                                                                              
  17. See this:                                                                                                  
  18. Do this:                                                                                                                
  19. Change this:                                                                                            
  20. Look like this (only different of course):                                                     
  21. Look like this (only different of course):                                                             
  22. Figure out what its like to be an adult without minor children.
  23. Go here:                                                                                                  
  24. Go here:                                                                                                  
  25. Go here:                                                                                                  
  26. Write a book.
  27. Have a gallery show.
  28. Advocate for this:                                                                                      
  29. Do this:                                                                                                            
  30. Possibly move here:                                                                                           
  31. Survive this:                                                                                                
  32. Get this:                                                                                                    

That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Yeah. I think that is all for now….But I reserve the right to add more. Cheers, interweb friends.