Tag Archives: detox

Dukan? You can!

Dukan? You can!

I started the Dukan Diet. Yes, yes I know. But something has got to give. So save your lectures and anti-carb-free diet stories.  Anyhow, as I am reading the book looking for all sorts of magical insights and inspirational thoughts, I read this passage that made me think about other things….

“Losing weight is the same as feeding yourself with fat and cholesterol. ……with each weight loss, your body makes you consume your fat reserves, so when you lose 20 pounds, it is almost as if you had eaten that amount of fat or butter….a large quantity of cholesterol and triglycerides circulates in your blood.” ~Dr. Pierre Dukan

So I immediately think about Rachel Carson, environmental toxins, and fat soluble toxins. This beginning part could be yucky feeling., as this crap is processed out of my body BUT at least I can attest that I have lived more often than not in places that aren’t toxic dump sites so hopefully I have less than most. I also eat mostly fresh and healthy foods, organic when I can afford it and until I started this stupid diet rarely any meat and NEVER any dairy (ok, I have a cheese weakness occasionally) But as someone with an already depressed thyroid function, I anticipate my thyroid needs may go up as this journey progresses. Oy.

Don’t worry, I am drinking plenty of dandelion and detox tea to help this along as well as my numerous supplements ranging from yellow dock to salmon oil. Really what I am going to miss is my lovely alcohol. Sigh

And fruit. I will see you in January.

I have decided the best way to avoid being inundated with toxins released by your body’s melting blubber reserves is to never get unhealthily fat. DOH

Septic and in need of a Master Cleanse? Me too.


First a poem.

Then a rant.

No digress.


I want my old skin back,

I’m no longer comfortable under yours.

Open sores need to breathe to heal and I know, I know,

I can’t always be the band-aid,

infections they feed this sickness between us;

It’s been allowed to fester into a boil.

I drew my sword and lanced it

now it’s become septic in unsterilized soil.

Too much attention given at the wrong stage.

An ulcer allowed to develop into pointless rage

Who knows what could have been.

Is this leper’s piece yours or mine?

A necessary quarantine and emotional quinine

A couple of courses, we should both be fine.

Master Cleanse:

Tomorrow the hubby and I are starting a “Master Cleanse.” For those of you shut-ins that are truly shut-in or haven’t subscribed to Gwyneth Paltrow’s www.goop.com, for informative and entertainment reasons here is the breakdown:

Basically, for approximately 3-30 days you starve yourself under the guise of a detox which includes laxative teas, “lemonade” made of fresh lemon juice, pure water, cayenne pepper (seriously) and real maple syrup. Occasionally, you drink some nice sea salt water too. In the meantime, your body “cleanses” itself, and is allowed to do more important things like flushing your liver and junk instead of digesting all the CRAP we non-agrarian/non-hunting lazy ass americans eat. Granted, my family doesn’t eat bad, comparatively speaking, but compared to neolithic man, we are ridiculously suicidal with our habits. So some things I have read praise sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus for the Master Cleanse. Others say it is the most horrible thing ever. Hallucinogenic in a bad way I have even read. We shall see. No coffee or caffeine? Oh my dear lord. I am pretty good at going without eating for days, which is totally healthy I know. But it’s effective…..Meh just kidding. Kinda….

I digressed. Oops.

Anyway, The goal is 10 days, I am hoping to make it to 7. I may not be able to do it and go to school which is why I am adding the caveat of 7….Husband is hoping to kick nicotine as a result of it, before everyone in our family adopts a much different eating style…MUAHAHAHH i win suckas…..:P

I shall update you as we go, and if you all don’t mind, if my posts get more crazy than normal…help a girl out. Give a heads up that I need to eat something cause I have gone bat shit crazy. Thanks *kisses*