Tag Archives: Déjà vu

And then it hits me….

Standard
And then it hits me….

So I know, I know….finding meaning in everything is dumb and illogical. But when you have 857,348,578 things happen that align with gut feelings you have had, you start to take them into consideration. Confirmation bias aside, sometimes I meet someone or see something and it really bothers me when I can’t place it or them. Sometimes it is totally topical like not remembering who an actor in a film is, other times it’s like a Déjà vu situation, a “Mists of Avalon” when Igraine and Uther meet for the first time in this life if you will….and they realize that they have been together for many lifetimes and you as the reader have to wonder if it is true or part of Viviane’s spell….sigh.

I digress.

Anywhoo….

When I was younger my BFF Lisa and I would have conversations about something and try to remember a name or a song or an actor what have you, and it could be 3 weeks or months later and I would remember. regardless of what time of day (or morning…3 am anyone?) I would call her and be like “GARY BUSEY!” to which she would reply something to the effect of “What the fuck? oh yeah. yep. Goodnight Jani….”

In recent years I have taken to writing things down next to my bed and calling people (or Facebooking) people at more reasonable hours. Usually, anyhow. 😉

The thing that has been bothering me of late is someone’s tattoo….I KNEW I had seen it but just couldn’t place it. I had made up all kinds of scenarios, logical and illogical, romantic and dramatic….from supernatural to a stroke. (I know, I know, strokes aren’t funny.)

Then this morning, I am scrolling through my Facebook timeline looking for an invitation to a True Blood viewing party so I can change my response and BAM.

A movie meme.

There it is.

Right fucking in front of me.

It’s two character’s tattoos put together from a movie.

FINALLY!

While I am relieved to finally consciously place it, I am still a little sad it wasn’t something  meaningful. Stupid girl.

DOH

heebie jeebies.

Standard

There are lots of things that kind of freak me out. I remember once I was using a wire beater in front of my kitchen window and the spines broke and well,  exploded really; hitting the window and making a horrible sound.

I about lost my shit, thinking my partner’s ex shot me. Now, granted, after the fact it was hilarious and the people who witnessed me hit the ground and check for blood probably still get a laugh from it.  Only now do I reflect upon the fact that I must have thought I had it coming to assume they would actually shoot me; I digress.

Other frightening things are the shadow next to a bed (which is a number one reason my bed doesn’t have a space between it and the floor), wearing choker necklaces, FEMA Camp, global thermonuclear war, old Victorian houses, zombie virus/apocalypse, spider webs (not spiders), blah blah. Like I am going to just give you them all! Pshhh. I am sure the NSA has them all on file somewhere from those stupid “quizzes” I filled out on MySpace a million years ago.

Anyhoo….back to the original point….I was just in my room, folding laundry, putting it away, listening to music really loud, dancing and enjoying myself when all of a sudden I had the clearest mind picture of someone unknown coming up behind me and harming me. WTF is that. It was one of the oddest feelings I have ever had. Truly, a someone just walked on my grave type of sensation. I have experienced déjà vu, but this was so different. Eeek.

Me no likey.

I hope in some alternative universe/dimension I am ok.

A walk with Jim…

Standard
A walk with Jim…

I wrote this after a particularly, ahem, lucid “dream.”

It’s a song.

It’s folksy.

Enjoy the fruit of my 18 year old brain. 🙂

A walk with Jim

He was the lizard king

and I, the moth queen.

Attracted to the light,

we came out at night.

Hazy memory,

my reincarnate vision…

Close my eyes I can hear him…

this man I think I knew…

I see him…remember him…

Am I crazy or is this called Déjà vu?

He said “You’re drinking with the third.”

Could I have been the fourth?

A couple of bipolar casualties.

A poet and a shaman;

And me a hopeless romantic.

Only one of us was knowing

our vaccine was our disease.

He was the lizard king

and I, the moth queen.

Distracted by the light

we faded into the night.

© 1998, 2012