I suck at shotgun.
I fell asleep when you drove;
That was most telling.
I have so many freckles;
On my body
potential little cancers,
threatening to eat away at me.
I can only count the front-
Yet even if you offered
to count them;
connect them as ephelidic constellations,
I’d never know the true total.
There are so many
I’ll never show you
Each one represents a secret
A shame, a regret
A love, a hate
While I do not claim to be the most rational person, I think on most days I am at least 72% rationale.
There are a few things that despite my rational grownup mind freak me the eff out. In an ongoing attempt to purge irrational fear from my psyche, I offer you this list of my top 11 irrational fears from greatest to least, *handle this knowledge responsibly please*:
Ok, ok so I know overall it just seems like totally normal control issues right? RIGHT? I’m normal. Just like every other normally neurotic person.
Just a quick little confessional, devoid of digression for our almost new year ponderings….
I am freaking blind so I have to wear glasses. I prefer contacts, but living in the Pacific Northwest I find there is not a lot of reason to wear contacts other than vanity because I rarely NEED sunglasses. However, I am rather vain so I wear contacts most of the time, ergo, I wear sunglasses if for no other reason than an accessory, habit or wishful thinking.
Because of this, I have grown quite adept at people watching and keeping my mouth from revealing the thoughts which my eyes cannot hide.
Herein lies the problem.
When the occasion happens I am too lazy, too late or just don’t give a sh*t, and I am wearing my glasses, I forget they have clear lens.
I say “F**K YOU” with my eyes.
I say “I’d f**k you” with my eyes.
I roll my eyes.
I look out of the corner of my eyes all batsh*t crazy without turning my head to stare you down in the car next to me at the light.
I do any number of things, assuming I’m safe because you can’t see me.
Except when I forget that you can.
Then I am busted.
I turn red. (Which is a whole different level of red for me, anyone that knows me can attest to my scarlet brilliance….)
I feel dumb.
I come home and blog away all my “caught in the act” voyeuristic shame.
Anyone else do this?
Anyone else get CAUGHT?