Dear fellow students, former students and future students:
Please note the following things:
- When consolidating your student loans be advised *as they will not advise you* that you need to get a 3 month forbearance while said consolidation is being completed;
- When you apply for consolidation, all grace periods become null and void;
- Sallie Mae is the fucking Antichrist and when Direct Loans consolidates all your loans into one big giant cesspool of fucking BS; they sell it BACK to Sallie Mae for management;
- Make sure you read that loan summary reaaaaalllyyyyy fucking carefully, because if you don’t know exactly how much you owe because of interest and capitalization and it’s a huge number anyway, it’s really easy to miss 30gs.
- IF YOU HAVEN’T TAKEN STUDENT LOANS, DON’T.
- FUCK COLLEGE.
- Fuck Grad School.
- Join the military.
- Or the circus.
- Or keep bartending;
- Or learn Spanish and move to Costa Rica and open a house of ill repute.
That’s what I should have done. Yep.