I always find it odd when someone tells you something and somehow they really mean something else. I find this to be true in all relationships be they familial, romantic, or platonic. I’m sure everyone does it, I myself am admittingly guilty as well.
For example, someone may say “Do you care if I go to _____’s house?” and on the inside I may be saying “NOOOO!!! I have been alone all day stay and fold laundry with me!”
But I don’t.
I say, “Sure, Girl Child, be home by 5.”
Let’s say, hypothetically of course, someone tells you in 38,495,304,570 different ways to get a life, get some friends, start working out (and of course, this doesn’t mean they find you fat or unattractive, they just want you to be “healthy.”), go out, “be free you hippy butterfly,” you start to get the feeling that you are being too codependent or cramping that person’s style. Your mere presence is irritating them. Their lives are affected and effected by your neediness or something, I don’t freaking know.
Eventually you choose one of two paths: 1) You do what they have been telling you to do or 2) You eat an entire roll of cookie dough with a raspberry coffee and chocolate milk. and rationalize it was a healthy balanced meal 😉
But when you do choose to DO IT, how can that person be mad at you for it? If that isn’t what they wanted, what did they want?
Speak freely for sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus’s sake!
In the words of John Mayer, “Say what you need to say.”
I am not a mind reader.
I assume the rest of the world, Sylvia Browne and Alison Dubois aside, are not either.
When you say go away, I assume you mean it.
So when I get confused that somehow instead of someone being happy that I am doing what I need to do and no longer depending on them to entertain me, don’t make it about you again. I did exactly what I was told. BY YOU.
Next time, choose your words more carefully and/or imagine how you will handle the result.
You never know when someone will finally listen, hypothetically.