Category Archives: Games

Freaking Waivers~

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Freaking Waivers~

So it’s that time of year again boys, girls and gender neutrals…..

FOOOOOZZZZBALL!!!!

Fantasy league up and running.

With the exception of some less than stellar wide receivers and gimpy tight ends, my draft went well and my roster looks lovely.

I decided to drop a certain inconsistent bastard and lo, my mouse locked on scroll and I dropped the wrong player and didn’t pay attention.

DOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHHHHHYYYYYYY sweet ancient baby alien space monkey Jebus WWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYY!

And now I have to hope no one else picks him up in the next two days until he is off waivers.

Fork me in the goat ass.

I hate this game.

😀

Bring it on.

Husband Playbook Page 44: How to make up for being a freaking SCHMUCK

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Husband Playbook Page 44: How to make up for being a freaking SCHMUCK

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 So without boring you with all the sordid, scandalous details, my dear sweet hubby has been a real schmuck lately. For at least the last month or so. Maybe since Christmas even 🙂 Valentine’s wasn’t the best, my birthday had its moments. He did however buy me a bazillion dollars worth of couture shoes and a fancy dress off of my “never gonna get any of this stuff” wish list, so he got SOME brownie points; last night however, got him off the hook for quite a while.

This is how my evening went:

I was at school all evening and received a text stating I needed to call him when I got to my park and ride location and not to ask questions. So I did that. I got home and once in my driveway noticed a note in a ziplock bag hanging on the garage door (to keep it dry of course, it rains here all the blessed time).

I called to let him know I was here to which he replied, “Stay in your car, I will call you when you can come in.” I asked if I should get the note or not and he said “NO stay in your car and I will call you when you can get it…”

I can follow instructions so I did that…

He called and advised me I could come in. I got the note:

So I did as it said, came in, to see our house immaculate, lit with no less than 20 deliciously scented candles and fragrant star-gazer lilies; my husband was standing near the dining room table dressed to the nines gesturing me up the stairs and Stevie Nicks “Belladonna” was playing on the record player.

I went upstairs to find my magical new dress, shoes, another note (that you will not be seeing ;)) and my bedroom alit with candles, lavender and fancy stones spread about.

I wondered where the dog and kids were, but only for a moment; I came to learn (the Girl Child had to zip my dress) that they were all in on it, the Boy Child had the dog in quarantine, the Girl Child was pretending to be asleep.

I went downstairs and danced with my husband in my fancy shoes.

We ate a most delicious Italian tiramisu/trifle like dish he prepared all by himself from scratch that was layered with chocolate cake, pudding, whip cream, kahlua and toffee with hand shaved chocolate curls…

Paired with the most expensive, delicious, well researched Port I have ever had the pleasure of putting on my tongue:

Then we played a game of cribbage all dressed to the nines, drinking wine by candle light. I won. (It may not sound romantic, but it’s how we roll)

Then he switched the record to:

Side 2 😉

Things got a little hotter. And I opted for my spa/massage treatment. The rest of the night is mine, you voyeuristic freaks.

But I can say with all certainty, the massage had a happy ending.

SO. Here’s the moral of the story, Significant Others…

If you are gonna be a schmuck and try to make up for it with expensive trinkets, you better arrange a time for them to be worn or used and pair it with wine and flowers and music and dancing and food and candles and massage and letting the other person win. Romance helps more than the stuff. Just sayin.

Good luck, Schmucks.

Good job, Husband. You get to stick around for a while longer 🙂

Top Five Reasons my husband loves me (based upon yesterday only)

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Top Five Reasons my husband loves me (based upon yesterday only)

I am going to brag about myself for a minute. Bare with me. I need it.

  1. I took control of the entire planning of yesterday’s festivities and paid.
  2. I took him to eat here: Blitz Pearl
  3. Then we went and wandered here: Powell’s
  4. Then we went drinking and playing here (Utopia of PINBALL): Ground Kontrol
  5. Then I kicked his ASS at shuffleboard here: Dublin Down

That is all. Be jealous geeks.

 

Super Bowl Predictions:

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Super Bowl Predictions:

I have a couple of predictions, but mostly just a score….I’m going to say…..

Giants 33 – Patriots 23

  1. I predict Gronkowski will be out before the second half, unless he doesn’t play until the second half.
  2. I predict Victor Cruz will be a major game maker.
  3. I predict Eli will actually run in 1-2 of the touchdowns.
  4. I predict the Giants will make a turn around with an onsides kick.
  5. I predict Tom Brady’s head will explode from anger. (steam from ears at the very least)
  6. I predict a UFO will be seen on my DVR.
  7. I also predict that Madonna will do a stupid imitation again of Cruz’s salsa move.
  8. I predict my husband and or the girl child will be spill salsa on my new couch whilst wearing nothing but Denver Donkeys attire.

That is all. Eat, drink and be loud. Salud.

Words with “friends”? Yeah, RIGHT, Zynga is the devil.

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So I have become addicted to this damn game. It’s like that one board game, you know the one with the scrambled tiles? :O The problem with this game is the words from that game work, but so do some proper nouns, but not all. For example, Iraq(i) doesn’t work but Egypt does. Jew doesn’t work, but Haji does. I mean WTF? I digress.

Then sometimes you are playing with people who you know you are going to beat, you have been working on the same game for 2 weeks or 2 hours, depending on your combined schedules. Then you get a turn that you can’t find anywhere to play unless you set someone up and you hope they can’t use it…

Case in point: all I have to use and I can use it NEXT to a triple word play, is QUAY. Now, I know this is a word because I saw it on a hotel near my home and Googled it, it means “wharf.” So I do a little odds in my head and decide if I play it there should be two esses left in the game so chances of me getting one is pretty good, and chances my opponent has one not any better. The S would play in the triple spot, so I play it, take my lame points and get my S, YES!!!!!! I am going to get 3x the points for my Q next turn and then……my bastard of a husband has the other S and robs my spot.

Son of a &*(^*$%*(*&^)*&^*&^#$*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t speak to him or play any of the rest of my ongoing games for 12 hours.

It was in that moment that I commiserated and empathized with Mr. Alec Baldwin.

I have been incredibly angry with my baby brother. My best friend. My husband. Complete strangers. I mean really? Uzi isn’t a word but Ut is? WTFFFFFFFFF

Godblessed cheaters.

I am not friends with words with friends. That’s for damn sure. Now, sorry for the late and short blog, I must go spell. I am C-O-M-P-E-L-L-E-D.