Category Archives: cooking

Oh Valentine’s, thank you for the excuse to eat Carbs!

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Oh Valentine’s, thank you for the excuse to eat Carbs!

I have a reoccurring thought while inventing recipes….I often find myself daydreaming about doing naughty things, like icing cupcakes with vegemite instead of chocolate frosting and giving them to people I am not fond of…Does anyone else do that? hmmmm

Anywhoo….Girlchild and I wanted to make something yesterday to use some beautiful berries we got. I had originally planned to make a flourless chocolate cake and some creme fraiche to go with the berries. This plan was quickly changed when the Girlchild reaffirmed her NEED for nilla wafers….So we developed this…

CoffeeBeanBerryWafer Cake:

First, to make the creme fraiche you must start the day before and mix 1 cup heavy whipping cream with 2 tbsps of buttermilk. Put on your counter in a sealed jar and leave it there for atleast 12 hours, shaking occasionally. Don’t worry about leaving dairy out. That’s the point. You need the bacteria to freak out. The next day, put it in the fridge to chill.

For the crust, use 3/4 of an 11 oz box of Nilla Wafers, 1/2 cup of melted butter and 1/4 cup white sugar. Pulse in a food processor or smash in a ziploc. press into a springform pan (or whatever you have).

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Take your fresh creme fraiche, add 2 tsp vanilla, 1/4 cup of white sugar and beat until slightly frothy…sprinkle one package of knox gelatin over it and IMMEDIATELY beat again, this time on high.

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Spread over the crust:

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Place berries on the filling and place in the fridge until you are done with the ganache.

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To make the ganache: break 2 ounces of über dark chocolate into a bowl. Add one single serving package of starbucks via blonde coffee powder (or whatever powdered espresso you have.)

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Bring 2 ounces of whipping cream to almost a boil…careful not to scorch it.

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Pour over the chocolate and coffee, let sit a couple minutes and whip smooth.

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Spoon a drizzle over the berries and enjoy.

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YUM.

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@BitchinKitchen Supperclub Slutty Spaghetti

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@BitchinKitchen Supperclub Slutty Spaghetti

I figured it had been a while since I had done a cooking post so I figured with everyone’s concern being elsewhere *ahem, Ravens winning the Superbowl, ahem* it was a good time. Plus, I felt like going outside my comfort zone and eating something I hadn’t eaten since I was 14….ANCHOVIES!

In case you didn’t know this about me, I hate fish…unless its raw and/or tuna. Go figure. So this was a reaaaaaaalllll stretch for me.

I love Nadia G. She is my future 3rd ex-wife. No worries, we stay friends. This is her recipe. I changed a couple things by adding a whole diced shallot, less olives, leaving the tomatoes whole while cooking and using wheat spaghetti ..OH! I also added everything before the tomatoes plus threw on some grated parmesan reggiano….other than that I did exactly as I was instructed 🙂

It’s delicious. And the name? “Spaghetti a la Puttanesca” literally translates as spaghetti as cooked by a whore. YESSSSSS! I love it.  There is a whole back story to this traditional dish, but I will make you find her telling it. It is described in two different episodes. Google is your friend, my friend.

Here is the recipe as described by her here:

INGREDIENTS

  • pound spaghetti
  • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • Pinch hot chile flakes
  • clove garlic, minced
  • anchovy fillets, roughly mashed with a fork
  • cups ripe cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 15 kalamata olives, pitted and coarsely chopped
  • heaping tablespoon capers, coarsely chopped
  • Large pinch brown sugar
  • Pinch sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Cook spaghetti in boiling salted water until it is slightly undercooked, about 1 minute away from being al dente, strain. Heat the olive oil in a large pan on medium heat. Add chile flakes and garlic, saute for 2 minutes, until garlic is fragrant and golden. Add the mashed anchovies and saute for 30 seconds. Then add the cherry tomatoes and saute for an additional 8 to 10 minutes, until the tomatoes begin to create a light sauce. Once the tomatoes have sauced up, mix the olives, capers, brown sugar, sea salt, and freshly ground black pepper into the sauce. Add the cooked spaghetti to the pan, reduce the heat to medium-low and use tongs to stir until the pasta absorbs the sauce, about 3 minutes.

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You’re welcome. 😉

In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper…..

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In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper…..

Today was the first day I got to enjoy the delicious divinity of vegetables in ten days. Oh my. It was quite simply heaven. (finally in the “cruise” phase of the Dukan diet…)

I probably overate.

But you know what? It was all squash so I don’t care.

Yum.

Delightfully non-meat morningstar crumbles.

Sweet purple carrots.

Tender butter lettuce.

Crunchy sweet peppers.

My cherry tomatoes were the bomb too.

Tantalizing marinara with all its basily garlicky goodness….complete with mushrooms and nutritional yeast fake parm….OY

I’m salivating just thinking about it.

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Guilt is a worthless emotion.

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Guilt is a worthless emotion.

I don’t know if you all have been paying attention, but if so, you will know that I have lost 11 pounds in as many days on the Dukan Diet. Yay me.

That being said, it is starting to affect my subconscious.

I dreamed last night the most luscious of dreams.

I was cheating on the husband. My lover (and oh man was he) took me to dinner in New Orleans and I ate shrimp, a proper food for my Dukan Diet.

But dessert……oh, that was pure decadence.

Bananas Foster.

It was DIVINE>

And as I took the last bite, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I felt guilty and began bawling like a wee lass who lost her puppy.

I felt no remorse cheating on my husband. But on my diet? That was more than I could handle.

I think there must be something to the fact that I chose a dessert I have never had and also the fact that it is one that is on fire…..

Oy vei.

Corn and Margherita Pizza, WHAAAAAAT?

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Corn and Margherita Pizza, WHAAAAAAT?

I occassionally have cravings. And these last couple days I been craving corn and homemade pizza…..so I made margherita pizza and grilled some corn, simple wrapped in foil and doused in Old Bay seasoning.

The pizza is so pretty!

  1. I cheated and bought a store crust, I like the Rustic brand;
  2. I brushed it with white truffle oil;
  3. Threw on some spicy marinara;
  4. Some freshly squeezed and sliced mozzarella straight out of their watery home;
  5. Lovingly placed some sundried tomato halves on top;
  6. Chiffonaded some fresh basil with my magic scissors (ok so its not really chiffonaded);
  7. Microplaned some delicious parmigiana;
  8. Then put that bad boy in the oven at 425, for about 14 minutes.

Gorgeous.

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Be jealous bitches.

Broccolini, Broccolini, night and day it’s Broccolini….

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Broccolini, Broccolini, night and day it’s Broccolini….

I’ve become slightly obsessed with broccolini, to the point my kids are sick of it. Oh well, apparently my heart chakra is in need of some greens, ok? I had been trying to incorporate them into my diet more and more (greens that is) and had run out of new things to try in my neck of the woods. That is, until the farmer’s market opened back up.

Broccolini is a magical hybrid of broccoli and kai-lan, of the cabbage family. It is sometimes sold as Chinese Kale. It should be bright green with yellow flowers and florets.

It is touted to have massive inhibitory effects on human cancer cells and is all around just good for you. So I have a simple recipe for you brave souls who would like to try it and those of you who are familiar, perhaps a new way to eat it!

Broccolini Mussolini

The first thing I do is to heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in my lovely cast iron pan, then add 3-4 minced cloves of garlic, stir until soft and fragrant. Then add a couple of spoons of pesto, some chopped sun-dried tomatoes and a few capers with some sea salt. Gently fold in your rinsed broccolini and cook until wilted.

Meanwhile, I have a pound of penne cooking in salted water….drain of course after cooked….then…

Toss the two together!

Shave some parmigiana over the top and eat. It’s magical. And much lower in bad fat than creamed sauces…

The part of the recipe where I sing, “Broccolini, Broccolini…” to the tune of “Cinderelli, Cinderelli…night and day it’s Cinderelli…” is totally optional.